Commiting suicide in my dreams

[ExitTheDay]

I've been having these weird dreams were I commit suicide lately and in ways I would not CTB whether it be from jumping off a balcony to jumping in front of a train, first of all I would never do this in a public setting, I would find a secluded place to do this where my body would never be found and decompose before somebody could find it and I wouldn't ever use the train method because of derailment and the mental scarring of the driver and passengers. Second of all, in these dreams I always call my mother before killing myself and screaming things like "BYE!!!" and "THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE CARED MORE!!!" it's the fucking strangest shit, and I would never be selfish enough to call my mother while commiting suicide, maybe it's the resent I'm feeling towards her lately? I don't know, but I wish it would stop happening, it's really fucking scary... Has anyone ever had dreams like this before?

 

[not_a_robot]

I've been having these weird dreams were I commit suicide lately and in ways I would not CTB whether it be from jumping off a balcony to jumping in front of a train, first of all I would never do this in a public setting, I would find a secluded place to do this where my body would never be found and decompose before somebody could find it and I wouldn't ever use the train method because of derailment and the mental scarring of the driver and passengers. Second of all, in these dreams I always call my mother before killing myself and screaming things like "BYE!!!" and "THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE CARED MORE!!!" it's the fucking strangest shit, and I would never be selfish enough to call my mother while commiting suicide, maybe it's the resent I'm feeling towards her lately? I don't know, but I wish it would stop happening, it's really fucking scary... Has anyone ever had dreams like this before?

I spent most of my life waiting for my poor mom to die so my suicide wouldn't hurt her. After she died I had a terrible nightmare where she came to my house and was removing all the things I might use to kill myself.
The nightmare part was that I started screaming at her that I hated her for making me be born and all kinds of horrible shit. She just looked sad and faded away.
I'm crying even typing this because even though I hate the fact that I was born, I loved my mom dearly and would never want to hurt her like that. Alrhough I'm sure I did while she was alive, plenty of times.

 

[ExitTheDay]

I spent most of my life waiting for my poor mom to die so my suicide wouldn't hurt her. After she died I had a terrible nightmare where she came to my house and was removing all the things I might use to kill myself.
The nightmare part was that I started screaming at her that I hated her for making me be born and all kinds of horrible shit. She just looked sad and faded away.
I'm crying even typing this because even though I hate the fact that I was born, I loved my mom dearly and would never want to hurt her like that. Alrhough I'm sure I did while she was alive, plenty of times.

Wow she must have really loved and cared about you, and I feel you on that... I've treated my mom fairly poorly in the past and it just dawns on me how I could be such a piece of shit like that

 

[RainAndSadness]

I had dreams where I tried to commit suicide. But I always failed in these dreams - and I guess that's my biggest fear: failing or being saved by someone.

 

[ExitTheDay]

I had dreams where I tried to commit suicide. But I always failed in these dreams - and I guess that's my biggest fear: failing or being saved by someone.

Same here, after I go through with it I see a really bright light in my dream and I immediately jolt up out of my sleep whenever it happens

 

[RainAndSadness]

Same here, after I go through with it I see a really bright light in my dream and I immediately jolt up out of my sleep whenever it happens

Same here. It also happens when I get murdered in my dreams. I wonder if that's the same light we are gonna see right before we die. Apparently our subconciousness can't process death.

 

[Scribble Fan]

I had a dream I was a small child again in a water slide park and when I looked up I saw my present self hanging from a large bunch of balloons besides a suicide partner in the sky. I felt so blissfully melancholic. Kind of a soft, high emptiness with a mild euphoric chill. Deep peace too... It's hard to truly describe, I can't do it justice in words.

Earlier in that dream I was looking up at a bridge and considering jumping off. It was next to a college I wanted to attend but didn't. Same feelings.

I think these are probably subconscious desires or feelings manifested into visions, perhaps forgotten dreams too... maybe. I'm not a psychologist, haha.

 

[Conflicted Cat]

Not suicide related dreams, but once I had a dream about a year ago that I was shot point blank in the back of my head by a police officer. I wasn't even a threat, or doing anything wrong. Some random police officer just pulls over, tells me turn around, and shoots me. My perspective had changed, like people and their "near death experiences". An aerial view of me laying dead on the ground.

I still think about that dream today, I don't know why.