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PrincessInWhite

PrincessInWhite

I just want to sell out my funeral
Feb 21, 2019
640
Im really struggling to come to terms with the risk of organ and brain damage from my method (SN). Before someone starts with "follow the method properly and don't get found then. etc" obviously i plan to but things happen and you are kidding yourself if you think just because you have a solid plan it will all go 100% perfectly. There are always variables we can't account for.

how do you cope with the fear of this damage? I have Severe health anxiety, NOT because I'm afraid of dying but because I'm afraid of living with expensive and painful conditions that lower qualify of life. I'd rather die and I already am starting to show wear on my body at 28 from the painful stressful life I've lead so I know in my heart it's time to go but I keep getting stuck on what happens if I survive with damage.

edit: I should have specified so this is my fault, but I'm looking for coping methods or ways to reframe or reassurance, not "yeah that's a real issue and you should be concerned" because I already know that and my anxiety is already tormenting me over it. I don't need to be reminded that it's a risk, I'm obsessed with the risk, I'm looking for ways to mentally cope with that risk or perhaps reassurance SN isn't as likely to leave permanent damage (not that it WONT- any method has the possibility of doing this). My fault again I should have specified this.
 
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WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,165
Yeah, it's always good to think of the consequences of permanent brain and organs damage. I'm really scared of that too.

How do I cope with it? Well, I really want to leave this world so I don't see any other choice. Every day my life only gets worse so next year, no matter what, I'm CTB and if I fail and get brain damage, so be it!

Or maybe, I'll end up in a psych ward and go mad for real.

Anyway, I hope we can find peace soon and don't fail.
 
U

Ulisses

Arcanist
Feb 21, 2020
487
you can't predict the damage when you're suicidal. is to do the right procedure and hope for ctb to work, without any permanent problem.
 
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Symbiote

Global Mod
Oct 12, 2020
3,102
So your severe health anxiety is telling you that you'll suffer organ/brain damage from SN. I like to think that you don't have brain activity at all, but you're physically alive, just not at home up there. Basically a vegetable and brain dead = dead/CTB
 
K

Kruger

Arcanist
Dec 26, 2019
482
Im really struggling to come to terms with the risk of organ and brain damage from my method (SN). Before someone starts with "follow the method properly and don't get found then. etc" obviously i plan to but things happen and you are kidding yourself if you think just because you have a solid plan it will all go 100% perfectly. There are always variables we can't account for.

how do you cope with the fear of this damage? I have Severe health anxiety, NOT because I'm afraid of dying but because I'm afraid of living with expensive and painful conditions that lower qualify of life. I'd rather die and I already am starting to show wear on my body at 28 from the painful stressful life I've lead so I know in my heart it's time to go but I keep getting stuck on what happens if I survive with damage.
Join the club, this is a dilemma for all of us. Particularly for me because I have a brain tumour and the slightest thing upsets it and causes me serious problems, so i'm at high riskof stroke , haemorrage, etc. You are wise to think things through carefully. People here will parrot off the line that SN causes no lasting damage if you abort; that is utter bullshit - it depends on what underlying conditions you have eg. a brain tumour. I too am not afraid of actually being dead - i am looking forward to it; it's the dying part that terrifies me.
 
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PrincessInWhite

PrincessInWhite

I just want to sell out my funeral
Feb 21, 2019
640
So your severe health anxiety is telling you that you'll suffer organ/brain damage from SN. I like to think that you don't have brain activity at all, but you're physically alive, just not at home up there. Basically a vegetable and brain dead = dead/CTB
I really like this tbh, I don't care about being brain dead now that you mention it it's basically being dead. I guess I'm more scared of locked in syndrome or some shit
Join the club, this is a dilemma for all of us. Particularly for me because I have a brain tumour and the slightest thing upsets it and causes me serious problems, so i'm at high riskof stroke , haemorrage, etc. You are wise to think things through carefully. People here will parrot off the line that SN causes no lasting damage if you abort; that is utter bullshit - it depends on what underlying conditions you have eg. a brain tumour. I too am not afraid of actually being dead - i am looking forward to it; it's the dying part that terrifies me.
it makes me even more hopeless tbh
 
Nymph

Nymph

he/him
Jul 15, 2020
2,566
I'm thinking of it this way: if I survive with damage I'll still ctb again. It doesn't matter if my organs are damaged I'm still gonna ctb. I don't think you can get brain damage with SN because it's the last organ killed with the process. Other organs are defiantly gonna be damaged if you're found tho as with any other methods but I'm not too worried about that. I wanna die anyways so
 
PrincessInWhite

PrincessInWhite

I just want to sell out my funeral
Feb 21, 2019
640
I'm thinking of it this way: if I survive with damage I'll still ctb again. It doesn't matter if my organs are damaged I'm still gonna ctb. I don't think you can get brain damage with SN because it's the last organ killed with the process. Other organs are defiantly gonna be damaged if you're found tho as with any other methods but I'm not too worried about that. I wanna die anyways so
I like that way of looking at it. I've actually seen plenty of folks on here attempt with SN with no lasting damage to any organs only temporary so that's gives me some hope but I do know NO method is 1000% foolproof
Im really struggling to come to terms with the risk of organ and brain damage from my method (SN). Before someone starts with "follow the method properly and don't get found then. etc" obviously i plan to but things happen and you are kidding yourself if you think just because you have a solid plan it will all go 100% perfectly. There are always variables we can't account for.

how do you cope with the fear of this damage? I have Severe health anxiety, NOT because I'm afraid of dying but because I'm afraid of living with expensive and painful conditions that lower qualify of life. I'd rather die and I already am starting to show wear on my body at 28 from the painful stressful life I've lead so I know in my heart it's time to go but I keep getting stuck on what happens if I survive with damage.

edit: I should have specified so this is my fault, but I'm looking for coping methods or ways to reframe or reassurance, not "yeah that's a real issue and you should be concerned" because I already know that and my anxiety is already tormenting me over it. I don't need to be reminded that it's a risk, I'm obsessed with the risk, I'm looking for ways to mentally cope with that risk or perhaps reassurance SN isn't as likely to leave permanent damage (not that it WONT- any method has the possibility of doing this). My fault again I should have specified this.
Bump
 
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