erdbeeren
Student
- Oct 13, 2021
- 100
Sorry in advance if I get ramble-y.
I have no skills. Quite literally. My writing, both poetry and prose, is garbage. I have been drawing and trying to improve since before I even learned the alphabet, and it still looks like shit. The proportions are always off and look like a young child drew it. I've also tried 3d art which turn out horrible.
I am borderline retarded (which is a word I hate, but is the only way I can think to describe it). I say borderline because I'm at least somewhat self-aware. I can't even do basic things like hold a simple conversation or understand clear instructions. I can't look people in the eyes or maintain a friendship without either ghosting them or oversharing and talking ad nauseam about whatever my current obsession is. I don't know if it is my anxiety or another underlying cause for my being socially inept, but it is a constant issue none the less.
My grades in school were deplorable despite the fact that I actually tried to pay attention and make sure I understand the material. I had no friends or acquaintances and often sat my myself at lunch or any gathering like a pep rally. Sometimes I'd overhear teachers gossiping about me and my strange habits and awkward tendencies.
I cannot have a conversation with another person without either being outright ignored or ridiculed. Usually, I will think about saying something for a little while before building up the courage to actually say it. Then, I will be lectured on how I am wrong and an idiot to say something so dumb or heavily bombarded with attacks on my overall character. The same people who use me as the ass of their "jokes" are shocked when I choose to not keep to myself around them. And the main perpetrators of this are my family which makes it a little more painful.
I guess it's hard to deal with all this now, but my bus will come in just a few weeks. All these issues will hopefully overcome si and solve every problem at once.
I have no skills. Quite literally. My writing, both poetry and prose, is garbage. I have been drawing and trying to improve since before I even learned the alphabet, and it still looks like shit. The proportions are always off and look like a young child drew it. I've also tried 3d art which turn out horrible.
I am borderline retarded (which is a word I hate, but is the only way I can think to describe it). I say borderline because I'm at least somewhat self-aware. I can't even do basic things like hold a simple conversation or understand clear instructions. I can't look people in the eyes or maintain a friendship without either ghosting them or oversharing and talking ad nauseam about whatever my current obsession is. I don't know if it is my anxiety or another underlying cause for my being socially inept, but it is a constant issue none the less.
My grades in school were deplorable despite the fact that I actually tried to pay attention and make sure I understand the material. I had no friends or acquaintances and often sat my myself at lunch or any gathering like a pep rally. Sometimes I'd overhear teachers gossiping about me and my strange habits and awkward tendencies.
I cannot have a conversation with another person without either being outright ignored or ridiculed. Usually, I will think about saying something for a little while before building up the courage to actually say it. Then, I will be lectured on how I am wrong and an idiot to say something so dumb or heavily bombarded with attacks on my overall character. The same people who use me as the ass of their "jokes" are shocked when I choose to not keep to myself around them. And the main perpetrators of this are my family which makes it a little more painful.
I guess it's hard to deal with all this now, but my bus will come in just a few weeks. All these issues will hopefully overcome si and solve every problem at once.
