- Oct 22, 2020
I'm still alive and I'm probably staying until the next year due to some financial setbacks. Had I known this a couple months ago I probably wouldn't have had the consummatory muscle to ameliorate my stress, in the false premise claiming I would take my life in later time, but later seems to be heading to what I had not anticipated. And now I feel lost only with false hope. I've ruined everything, from relationships to health, with this wavering hope, hoping I could run away from it all. And now I'm left with nothing but a fable will and foolish regrets. I pushed away the people that truly loved me. I don't know who I can confab with, but I suppose I could always flirt with death. Hopefully I am reassured by end year.