Discussion Cluster Bs on SaSu, how do you feel about the phrase 'narcissistic abuse'?

[illvoid]

I am curious about other people's feelings surrounding phrases like this one. No judgement, just want people's honest opinions as I've seen some varying thoughts on the matter.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

My Mother was a malignant narcissist, so I use the term to describe past experiences.
Talking about it doesn't bother me as much as it used to because the bitch has been dead for over 10 years now.

 

[hmskms]

i think the gaslighting has done enough damage for me to decide my existence is irrecoverable. the only lesson ive learned is that this world belongs to sociopathic winners and the people who worship them.

 

[D1byRam3n]

As long they not disturbing me so directly to myself I don't care

 

[Anonymoususer1234]

Absolutely hate it. Anyone can be an abuser and there's no meaningful difference between so called "narcissistic abuse" and just plain abuse. As I see it "narcissistic abuse" is a term used largely by armchair psychologists to stigmatize a disorder they either don't understand or severely misunderstand.

It's a buzzword at best.

Not that I particularly blame people who use the term. There's a lot of misinformation about narcissism that exist in our culture. It just frustrates me, is all.

(Sidenote: Heal NPD has some really great videos on narcissism and narcissistic thinking, if that's of any interest to anyone here)

Edit: Not a cluster B. Didn't read the whole title before posting my reply. I will delete this reply if asked. Apologies.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sorry- I'm not your target member. I feel like I have experienced (suspected) narcissistic abuse. In fact- it's the reason I became suicidal in the first place. I would never outright call them a narcissist or call it narcissistic abuse. I would always use 'suspected' in front of the term- because it is only mine (and others) suspicion. That said- it can have such a devastating effect on people's lives and it does follow specific traits- gaslighting, use of 'flying monkeys', manipulation, victim shifting, aggression, lack of empathy. It doesn't surprise me that people who have been so damaged by such abuse in their lives seek to find out why.

From a personal perspective, their behaviour was so extreme and bizarre. It was a massive relief for me when I found out about narcissism- years later. All their behaviours were there. It was a relief for me because- while I could never prove it- now there was a known term for all this fuckery. For a long time- I thought I had indeed provoked some of their behaviour- I even considered whether I had slept walked to do some of the things they had accused me of!

I just think- from the person who has been so impacted by this behaviour- it will have messed them up and part of the healing is trying to understand why this happened. Were they at fault in any way? Having a label to put on the person that did this can in some ways help. Although- I can understand- to the narcissist, it can't feel all that great. Especially if they feel it is a misdiagnosis.

I guess I have a skewed perspective due to my own experience. In truth- narcissists frighten me. I'm not entirely convinced they feel the same sort of remorse other people do- although, I suppose they feel pain in the form of shame which has got to feel bad. I guess I find it hard to sympathise with narcissists if they have hurt people but I suppose their own pain is great also. Maybe they were raised by a narcissist themselves. It has to come from somewhere. It's not a term I would use outright but it's definitely one I would suggest or allude to. For those of us who have encountered the kinds of games they get up to- I think it's liberating to be able to identify them and protect ourselves.

 

[Fulminare]

It's absolutely brain dead and if I see this term on social media one more time, I will genuinely explode.