Cleaning up/decluttering before ctb

[thefoodispoison]

I had a nightmare recently where I took SN but then realized I had left my house an absolute disaster. I'm a very cluttery/messy person and my husband is very tidy, and especially with my most recent depressive episode, the house has gotten really bad.

In my dream I went to the hospital for methylene blue so I could clean up the house and then try again later. Then I realized that of course I was going to be hospitalized, so I wouldn't be able to clean or ctb.

It's inspired me to push through the depression fog and start aggressively cleaning. I think I want to ctb within the next few months, after Christmas and New Years but before winter is over. It's easier to clean now since I can just throw a bunch of stuff away, which has always been harder for me because I'm inclined to save stuff.

Anyone else in cleaning mode to try to make their ctb easier on their family?

 

[bed]

I've slowly been cleaning up my room a bit to make it easier.
Plus I always liked the idea of having a clean room when I died. It doesn't bother me much anymore though.

 

[Silenos]

I live alone and I'm still gonna make sure my apartment is pristine before I depart forever.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Actually yes. I don't own that much stuff but I am trying to get rid of everything but the bare essentials. I want to make it easier for whoever has to clean up. Also I don't want people going through my stuff after I am dead.

 

[trulyfeelhopeless]

I had a nightmare recently where I took SN but then realized I had left my house an absolute disaster. I'm a very cluttery/messy person and my husband is very tidy, and especially with my most recent depressive episode, the house has gotten really bad.

In my dream I went to the hospital for methylene blue so I could clean up the house and then try again later. Then I realized that of course I was going to be hospitalized, so I wouldn't be able to clean or ctb.

It's inspired me to push through the depression fog and start aggressively cleaning. I think I want to ctb within the next few months, after Christmas and New Years but before winter is over. It's easier to clean now since I can just throw a bunch of stuff away, which has always been harder for me because I'm inclined to save stuff.

Anyone else in cleaning mode to try to make their ctb easier on their family?

I feel like I should, but then I get anxiety about it and feel paralyzed

 

[FuneralCry]

I would ideally like to get rid of everything before I ctb, but the way I see it, it does not matter to me as I will not be alive at that point. I wish you the best with your plans.

 

[Cherry xoxo]

I've tried to get rid of my stuff before I ctb but it became very emotional and difficult to go through

 

[worn_out]

I recently started clearing stuff again, and sorting out storage spaces. In the past I've thrown out a whole load of stuff at times like this, and other times tried to give away a lot of things. I don't kid myself that it would make anything easy, but I still feel the urge to do it.

 

[StevieNixs]

I had a nightmare recently where I took SN but then realized I had left my house an absolute disaster. I'm a very cluttery/messy person and my husband is very tidy, and especially with my most recent depressive episode, the house has gotten really bad.

In my dream I went to the hospital for methylene blue so I could clean up the house and then try again later. Then I realized that of course I was going to be hospitalized, so I wouldn't be able to clean or ctb.

It's inspired me to push through the depression fog and start aggressively cleaning. I think I want to ctb within the next few months, after Christmas and New Years but before winter is over. It's easier to clean now since I can just throw a bunch of stuff away, which has always been harder for me because I'm inclined to save stuff.

Anyone else in cleaning mode to try to make their ctb easier on their family?

Went into cleaning and clearing my house in a a very determined way in July. August, September of this year. Then the depression became so bad it paralysed me into inaction. My schedule is similar to your own. Want to get Xmas and the New Year over but not because I intend to celebrate them - I just do not want to spoil this for my family. The energy to continue doing what needs to be done, seems to have disappeared. I had a fleeting thought the other day - stuff it all and stop trying to be considerate... but I know I could not leave the house in the present state with the expectation that my family will clear up after me..

 

[_Minsk]

Yes some months ago, i live in a rent apartment but most of my belongings were still at my parents, it was a hell of a work but i managed to move trough somehow, it was really painful actually, it took me like 5 days to fully throw away all my belongings (worthless ones) and reduce my belongings so i could pack everything i own into 2 suitcases. Now i feel like i can ctb anytime, if i just had the right method

 

[_Minsk]

What is your preferred method?

F/H or N, but it seems to be unrealistic to get so i might choose partial, if i had SN or H/F i would consider combining it with hypothermia. What is your preferred method?