Yes a little but i also think there is never a "right" time to cbt. If i let every holiday, birthday or special occasion be a reason to put it off then I'll never do it. I'm going to cbt in December whether it's Christmas or not it doesn't matter. It will also be around my birthday.
Well it's very sweet of you to think like that. But that is something I don't have to worry about. Ever since I got sick over 14 years ago with the highest ranking pain condition in medical history, my family hasn't been able to celebrate the holidays and we are thankful for nothing anymore and aren't in the Holly and jolly mood. It's just another day to us.
That's the dilemma for me. Like for me do I do it soon and actually do something for me for once or do I let everyones birthday first, even though most people's birthdays are in Jan for me, But than that just prolongs it.
Would it be impossible for you to wait if you could just wait for February or March if you say their birthdays are in January?
CTB. "Catch the bus"
Ah I thought it meant "cease to breathe." My stupid ass brain has been reading it wrong lol.
Some people use that too, "cease to breathe" is still CTB
For me I feek stuck between wanting everyone to be happy and wanting certain people to feel sad. For me it's more about the people who support me rather than my parents. They are never there for me. Thinking about being alive in March makes me real sad. My best friend died by suicide in August and I feel rather envious that their pain has ended.
It must give some comfort to have a friend who comitted suicide I know I feel some comfort in knowing 2 friends from my past who died as teenagers because despite not being religious (i actually hate religion) I don´t know what happens after death we will most likely just seize to exist, maybe life is a simulation and maybe I will wake up in the heavenly paradise that was my childhood (what I desperately hope for) but no matter what happens after death if anything it´s comforting to know I have known 2 people in my teens one I used to be very close to who died young so if they went through it so can I, I don´t know if it makes any sense to you.
same Im jealous of everyone dying on here and I tried my last attempt a month ago but failed so worried to fail again then if there is a next time, but more anxiety now that I dont get to rest or have no pain in afterlife if there is one, and that im making a sin doing it, also dont want to hurt my mom but this is really like being in some kind of hell already, last night I was saying I will do it but then "God" decided to show me what real pain is, I got really nauseous and had real bad stomach ache and could not bare it, then I got scared like he showed me what SN might feel like so I chickened out again, Im worried trying new things last attempt was not with SN, I read most ppl try same thing again not a new method.
I didn´t think about this at all I have been so obsessed with not wanting to ruin this time of year for the people I love I didn´t think about myself your post kind of give me a feeling of 'mind blown'
That does make sense to me, that's my thinking also, For me I am not religious however I believe in the after life and reincarnation, so it is a motive for me that my best friend is there as when I go, I can be reunited with him.
I think I will go for a new method, my last attempt was a complete fail as it was a spontaneous and didn't give a thought of if it would actually help me ctb or not.
This is really relatable. I mean I find Christmas really hard as you have to put up with the socialness of Christmas, but the magic of Christmas and Santa and presents was amazing.Now it's the loneliness time of the year I have ever felt.
That is true, everyone else acts like my friends suicide hasn't happened, they have moved on with life and acts like he never existed, so that's what will happen for me to, I mean I haven't forgotten about him and I think about him every day as it was a real shock to me, very unexpected as we were planning the future the last day we spoke.
