Help choose my hell

[Lavínia]

A friend told me about my ex, how he was doing and that he had asked about me. I went on impulse, asked for his number and now I have it again. I can talk to him, talk to him again. The person I love the most, the thing I want to do the most right now is this: I have always lived for him for 6 years. The moment this door opens again, he will be my priority, and it will destroy me.

I can continue with the monotony, work, go home, make an effort to do something for myself. But I am desperate to give all this up so I can at least talk to him a little.

I am sure I will live longer without it and I will have to try harder. Even so, I want to talk to him before I die, maybe 2 months before my due date. Should I do it right away? Talk to him and suffer, or continue suffering without it?

 

[StupidCat]

Sorry, I can't really relate to this. But if said person if seemingly okay without you it would be better to leave thing as thy are.
You are gonna suffer anyways so don't pull another person into your personal hell.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sometimes, well, often I think we kind of need to focus on the greater good in life. I went through several bouts of limerence (obsessive crushes on guys.) On the one hand, it was so nice to think about them, imagine our fairytale life together. Like the ultimate form of escapism.

On the other though, it really messed me up. It just consumed everything. I'd be thinking about them and agonising over them pretty much constantly. I eventually saw that I was going to have to put a stop to it. So, I made and still do make a conscious effort to stop obsessive thoughts before they take a real hold. I just know that overall- it's better for me.

You need to decide more whether the actual relationship is worth the 'storm in a teacup' it sounds as if it would bring with it. Also, as the above member said- it also seems fair to consider him. Especially if you do intend to CTB.

 

[Lavínia]

I texted him, went to his house today. We talked, played and laughed. It was a good day.