Children are subhuman in the eyes of adults

[Wrennie]

I thought that once I turned 18 I would attain "enlightenment" and understand why the adults were doing what they did to me and the other children surrounding me at that hellish group home I was entrapped in.
Because I was told to trust & rely upon adults.
That they were wise, and that because I was a child I was inherently in the wrong for doubting them.
But after reaching adulthood I only attained the revelation that we were all simply just victims of systemic physical & psychological abuse.

I can still hear their screams.
Children scream so loudly when they're beaten.
No horror movie can mimic the reality.
I had to fall asleep to their screams every night, knowing if I stepped out of line it could be me next.

​

 

[Pluto]

They have children despite - indeed, because of - having never grown up themselves. Being able to play God to a psychologically vulnerable youth must be a heck of an ego trip. Virtually above the law, nobody does anything to stop them. So the cycle continues that we call human life.

 

[Wrennie]

My family used to wonder how I could fall asleep to screamo music during our car trips. Now I know. It almost helped me to fall asleep because I was conditioned to it.

 

[Zzzzz]

They have children despite - indeed, because of - having never grown up themselves. Being able to play God to a psychologically vulnerable youth must be a heck of an ego trip. Virtually above the law, nobody does anything to stop them. So the cycle continues that we call human life.

Ego is definitely a big part of it I think. Speaking of above the law, 1 in 6 children are estimated to be abused or neglected. 75% of all child abuse is done by parents. Only 5% by strangers. People who beat children are JUST as bad as pedophiles in my book. There are probably millions of parents who beat their children in one country alone. There might be tens of millions of parents in the world who do it, possibly. That's just physical abuse. The number is probably much higher for emotional and psychological abuse.

 

[Wrennie]

Ego is definitely a big part of it I think. Speaking of above the law, 1 in 6 children are estimated to be abused or neglected. 75% of all child abuse is done by parents. Only 5% by strangers. People who beat children are JUST as bad as pedophiles in my book. There are probably millions of parents who beat their children.

I remember this one fat broad that sat on top of my emaciated roommate as she sobbed and cried out that she couldn't breathe. The bitch just smirked and said "She's exaggerating" all while wearing a repulsive smirk upon her face. Then she commanded me to go back to my bedroom, and despite the fact that that child was my friend, & despite her being all alone in this world, & despite her having said "Wrennie is the only one who loves me" ...I simply obeyed and left her there, because I was terrified of what they'd do to me.
Ultimately she survived and didn't suffocate, but the risk was real. She could've died. I should've done something to direct that fat demon's attention toward me. They never would've suspected it because I was on "good girl" mode 24/7... But I didn't, and I'll never forgive myself for that as long as I live.

 

[Pluto]

People who beat children are JUST as bad as pedophiles in my book.

The reason parents are hard to hold to legal account is that there tend to be no neutral, legally adult eye-witnesses in the house when abuse happens. And of course, society thinks that the role of parents is to actually protect their children, so would want to turn a blind eye and give them the benefit of the doubt regardless.

Regarding beating children, back when I was young, the now deceased elderly generation of the time used to rave about the fact that their parents had disciplined them using physical beatings. Turns out that they were wrong. According to modern studies (I studied child care at university), physical punishment harms relationships and causes much distress for no benefit.

The reason that older generation were such caring and community-minded people (not like the 'Generation Me' Baby Boomers of today) is because they were forced to work together to survive World War I, the Spanish Flu, the Great Depression and then - because, why not? - World War II. Nothing like traumatic bonding - a similar phenomenon to this very website!

Back on topic, there are 3 types of abuse: physical, sexual and emotional. The damage done will depend on many variables like the intensity of the abuse, the frequency, the availability of support, counterbalancing positive experiences and the innate sensitivity of the victim. In my own case, the abuse was 99% emotional - which uniquely leaves no evidence that any abuse even happened - and I can confirm I ended up far more messed up than people I've known who lived through violence and sexual abuse, due to the aforementioned variables. Each case is unique and each victim deserves respect.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

That's a pretty unfair blanket statement. I was never told to blindly trust and rely on someone just because they're an adult.

Ego is definitely a big part of it I think. Speaking of above the law, 1 in 6 children are estimated to be abused or neglected. 75% of all child abuse is done by parents. Only 5% by strangers. People who beat children are JUST as bad as pedophiles in my book. There are probably millions of parents who beat their children in one country alone. There might be hundreds of millions of parents in the world who do it, possibly.

I think there's a fine line between beating and discipline. And to be quite honest, a little bit more discipline in my early childhood would have changed the trajectory of my life entirely, for the better

 

[Ankou]

I was told to trust & rely upon adults.
That they were wise, and that because I was a child I was inherently in the wrong for doubting them

i'M tHe aDuLt aND yoU'Re ThE cHiLD

 

[Wrennie]

That's a pretty unfair blanket statement. I was never told to blindly trust and rely on someone just because they're an adult.

I think there's a fine line between beating and discipline. And to be quite honest, a little bit more discipline in my early childhood would have changed the trajectory of my life entirely, for the better

No, this wasn't remotely close to being "discipline". This was full-on assault. These people were scum.

 

[Pluto]

That's a pretty unfair blanket statement. I was never told to blindly trust and rely on someone just because they're an adult.

I think there's a fine line between beating and discipline. And to be quite honest, a little bit more discipline in my early childhood would have changed the trajectory of my life entirely, for the better

More accurate to say we are told to blindly trust parents.

Discipline is important. Legitimate methods including denying treats (not denying essential nutrition or love or care) or denying access to certain pleasurable activities (eg. video games), all the while explaining the reasoning. In a perfect world, it would be possible to get cooperation without arbitrary punishments like that, but in practice it doesn't work out like that.

Abuse is what idiotic parents use to try and achieve discipline. (Or in some cases they are motivated by sadistic urges. Thanks, Dad.) There's a need for a basic education, just like I needed to pass a test to drive a car. Apparently there's more responsibility to steering an automobile than raising a child.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

No, this wasn't remotely close to being "discipline". This was full-on assault. These people were scum.

I wasn't referring to your specific situation. I'm not trying to invalidate what you went through

 

[Wrennie]

I wasn't referring to your specific situation. I'm not trying to invalidate what you went through

Sorry, my mistake.

 

[Pluto]

 

[PeacefulTonic]

More accurate to say we are told to blindly trust parents.

Discipline is important. Legitimate methods including denying treats (not denying essential nutrition or love or care) or denying access to certain pleasurable activities (eg. video games), all the while explaining the reasoning. In a perfect world, it would be possible to get cooperation without arbitrary punishments like that, but in practice it doesn't work out like that.

Abuse is what idiotic parents use to try and achieve discipline. (Or in some cases they are motivated by sadistic urges. Thanks, Dad.) There's a need for a basic education, just like I needed to pass a test to drive a car. Apparently there's more responsibility to steering an automobile than raising a child.

Of course it doesn't work out like that. That's why I believe there's a fine line between beating and discipline. Kids are way too spoiled and entitled nowadays IMO. You can't equate getting hit by a chancleta or a bamboo back scratcher once or twice to keep a kid in check after they've done something wrong, to say, being abused everyday on a daily basis(whether it be emotionally or physically)

 

[Pluto]

Of course it doesn't work out like that. That's why I believe there's a fine line between beating and discipline. Kids are way too spoiled and entitled nowadays IMO. You can't equate getting hit by a chancleta or a bamboo back scratcher once or twice to keep a kid in check after they've done something wrong, to say, being abused everyday on a daily basis(whether it be emotionally or physically)

The issue of entitlement is a fair point and a genuine failure of parenting, but is not a result of lack of physical punishment. Correlation does not equal causation. This is the same debate we used to have with the elderly people of the '80s. :) If caring for children, please base your actions on proper scientific research.

The case against spanking

Physical discipline is slowly declining as some studies reveal lasting harms for children.

www.apa.org

 

[PeacefulTonic]

The issue of entitlement is a fair point and a genuine failure of parenting, but is not a result of lack of physical punishment. Correlation does not equal causation. This is the same debate we used to have with the elderly people of the '80s. :) If caring for children, please base your actions on proper scientific research.

The case against spanking

Physical discipline is slowly declining as some studies reveal lasting harms for children.

www.apa.org

Okay, then how about something that's not from 2012? Things are completely different now

 

[Zzzzz]

That's a pretty unfair blanket statement. I was never told to blindly trust and rely on someone just because they're an adult.

I think there's a fine line between beating and discipline. And to be quite honest, a little bit more discipline in my early childhood would have changed the trajectory of my life entirely, for the better

Perhaps sometimes the line is fine, but oftentimes its crystal clear. I'm referring mostly to parents who get Angry,curse,yell and scream at their child and hurt them in anger. That's not discipline but rather taking out their anger on a helpless victim. They proceed to tell themselves the child deserved it or that it was a form of discipline, but it was only abuse.

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

Some adults will help children others abuse them.
It's the same in every aspect of life - I think it was on this forum I was discussing something and realized people who abuse often will be wary of abusing a child because they know the repercussions i.e parents etc.

I naively thought the older the person the more trustworthy they are. This is so wrong. The older they are the more dangerous they are.

 

[Pluto]

Okay, then how about something that's not from 2012? Things are completely different now

No they aren't. The views you are expressing are more attuned to the pedagogy of 1912. But since you asked, is this enough?

Physical discipline and parent attitudes

A Royal Children’s Hospital poll has found a significant proportion of Australian parents hold attitudes and beliefs in support of physical discipline, but at

www.firstfiveyears.org.au

Physical discipline is harmful and ineffective

A new APA resolution cites evidence that physical punishment such as spanking can cause lasting harm for children.

www.apa.org

What’s the Best Way to Discipline My Child?

As a parent, it is your job to teach your child the difference between acceptable and unacceptable behavior. But getting your child to behave the way you want is not as hard as you think.

www.healthychildren.org

Discipline and children

Disciplining your child means teaching them responsible behaviour and self-control.

www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au

The Effect of Spanking on the Brain

Spanking found to impact children's brain response, leading to lasting consequences

www.gse.harvard.edu

https://www.healthxchange.sg/children/parenting-tips/child-discipline-physical-punishment-psychological-marks

Negative Effects of Physical Punishment on Children | SchoolsCompassBlog

schoolscompass.com.ng

The Long-Term Effects of Physical Punishment on a Child

Disciplining a child is a necessary part of parenthood. Although physical, or corporal, punishment is illegal in places such as Sweden, it is commonly practiced in America. A 1999 survey led by Murray A. Straus and Julie H. Stewart, called "Corporal Punishment by American Parents,"

www.hellomotherhood.com

 

[PeacefulTonic]

Perhaps sometimes the line is fine, but oftentimes its crystal clear. I'm referring mostly to parents who get Angry,curse,yell and scream at their child and hurt them in anger. That's not discipline but rather taking out their anger on a helpless victim. They proceed to tell themselves the child deserved it or that it was a form of discipline, but it was only abuse.

Those parents don't have self control and shouldn't have kids to begin with

No they aren't. The views you are expressing are more attuned to the pedagogy of 1912. But since you asked, is this enough?

Physical discipline and parent attitudes

A Royal Children’s Hospital poll has found a significant proportion of Australian parents hold attitudes and beliefs in support of physical discipline, but at

www.firstfiveyears.org.au

Physical discipline is harmful and ineffective

A new APA resolution cites evidence that physical punishment such as spanking can cause lasting harm for children.

www.apa.org

What’s the Best Way to Discipline My Child?

As a parent, it is your job to teach your child the difference between acceptable and unacceptable behavior. But getting your child to behave the way you want is not as hard as you think.

www.healthychildren.org

Discipline and children

Disciplining your child means teaching them responsible behaviour and self-control.

www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au

The Effect of Spanking on the Brain

Spanking found to impact children's brain response, leading to lasting consequences

www.gse.harvard.edu

https://www.healthxchange.sg/children/parenting-tips/child-discipline-physical-punishment-psychological-marks

Negative Effects of Physical Punishment on Children | SchoolsCompassBlog

schoolscompass.com.ng

The Long-Term Effects of Physical Punishment on a Child

Disciplining a child is a necessary part of parenthood. Although physical, or corporal, punishment is illegal in places such as Sweden, it is commonly practiced in America. A 1999 survey led by Murray A. Straus and Julie H. Stewart, called "Corporal Punishment by American Parents,"

www.hellomotherhood.com

Again, you're trying to equate a one off disciplinary action, to daily/habitual abuse, which is completely unfair. And that Harvard study sample size is pathetic. 147? Come on

 

[Pluto]

Again, you're trying to equate a one off disciplinary action, to daily/habitual abuse, which is completely unfair. And that Harvard study sample size is pathetic. 147? Come on

Yes, of course there is a difference between one-off and daily abuse.

For an analogy, all smoking is bad, though one cigarette per week is far better than consuming 3 packs per day. But hopefully it is clear that there is a strong consensus amongst experts on this topic, and many superior alternatives to physical punishment. That's all I wanted to say.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

It's clear, I'm not trying to argue in favor of daily/habitual abuse, I'm completely against that.

My argument is, it's unfair to compare a child of a parent who can count on the fingers of one hand how many times they've hit/disciplined their kid, to one who's been hit daily/habitually

 

[Pluto]

I remember my late grandmother used to tell me about a time when she spanked me decades earlier, which I couldn't even remember and certainly couldn't care less about.

There were a few times when my father hit me, though even that means next to nothing. I can even understand it considering the circumstances. I can't say the same about the non-stop negligence and emotional abuse, however. That is where I lost all hope of being a healthy adult.

It would be extremely damaging to a parent or carer to conflate the occasional one-off slip-up with serious ongoing abuse. I would never do that. I will repeat something that I said earlier in this thread which we can hopefully all agree on.

The damage done will depend on many variables like the intensity of the abuse, the frequency, the availability of support, counterbalancing positive experiences and the innate sensitivity of the victim.

 

[demuic]

They have children despite - indeed, because of - having never grown up themselves. Being able to play God to a psychologically vulnerable youth must be a heck of an ego trip. Virtually above the law, nobody does anything to stop them. So the cycle continues that we call human life.

You're 100% correct.

It sickens me how society will make a huge fuss all the time about "protecting the children" that's literally just smoke and mirrors. It's never about the children. They will never actually do anything to seriously help children who are abused, so many people try to get help and are told they're lying or making things up, or that they can't find any evidence, etc, and will just leave a clearly abused child in the hands of their abusers. There's very few things on this earth that disgust me as much as the willful negligence and hypocrisy of society.