Childhood abandonment not your fault

[Rational man]

Childhood abandonment is not your fault.

Like me, I've noted that many members here are deeply effected by their childhood experiences and memories of it. Unfortunately, these experiences are often traumatizing and scarring. My sense of abandonment is one where i was emotionally abandoned and abused by narcissistic parents. I remember being beaten physically.

The point of my post is this. However much you have suffered and still suffer at the hands of a parent or sibling or partner. None of this is your fault. Absolutely NOTHING.. Nor is it NORMAL behaviour as some narcissists would have you believe.

I think our vulnerability often enables us to sometimes think that we have somehow failed, like we have done wrong.

Well you have NOT done wrong. Like me, the hand given has been hard and difficult and like my terminal illness, i didn't have a choice.

All the while you're members, you know that we are one family here, where love and empathy and support is understood.

Peace.

 

[Jrmull1993]

That post should be required reading during the website's "sign up" process.

Thanks for posting that.

 

[GentleJerk]

Damn, I didn't know this about you Rational man, all children deserve to be protected and nurtured.

The implications of what happens to us during our younger years, follow us throughout our lives, and our childhood experiences can even define who we are.

Good post, I think I needed to hear that. I have some weird thing that I believe is a side-effect of my exposure to Buddhism, where I blame myself for many things that have happened to me, things which are speculatively not my fault whatsoever.

I learned recently from a family member, that apparently I had quite a rough childhood, in many ways that I never really understood. I was a happy kid you see, so it must not have fully registered that I experienced a great deal of hardship as a child. I talked about the things I saw my sister go through, and I was told very seriously, that she was more lucky and that I had it much worse. It was quite a shock.

You have support here too Mr.

Much love.

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

Thank you for making this post and for your kind words.

 

[Rational man]

That post should be required reading during the website's "sign up" process.

Thanks for posting that.

Thanks, PEACE❤

Damn, I didn't know this about you Rational man, all children deserve to be protected and nurtured.

The implications of what happens to us during our younger years, follow us throughout our lives, and our childhood experiences can even define who we are.

Good post, I think I needed to hear that. I have some weird thing that I believe is a side-effect of my exposure to Buddhism, where I blame myself for many things that have happened to me, things which are speculatively not my fault whatsoever.

I learned recently from a family member, that apparently I had quite a rough childhood, in many ways that I never really understood. I was a happy kid you see, so it must not have fully registered that I experienced a great deal of hardship as a child. I talked about the things I saw my sister go through, and I was told very seriously, that she was more lucky and that I had it much worse. It was quite a shock.

You have support here too Mr.

Much love.

I feel your pain, PEACE❤

Damn, I didn't know this about you Rational man, all children deserve to be protected and nurtured.

The implications of what happens to us during our younger years, follow us throughout our lives, and our childhood experiences can even define who we are.

Good post, I think I needed to hear that. I have some weird thing that I believe is a side-effect of my exposure to Buddhism, where I blame myself for many things that have happened to me, things which are speculatively not my fault whatsoever.

I learned recently from a family member, that apparently I had quite a rough childhood, in many ways that I never really understood. I was a happy kid you see, so it must not have fully registered that I experienced a great deal of hardship as a child. I talked about the things I saw my sister go through, and I was told very seriously, that she was more lucky and that I had it much worse. It was quite a shock.

You have support here too Mr.

Much love.

I feel your pain, PEACE❤

Thank you for making this post and for your kind words.

welcomed..peace❤

 

[rationaltake]

Thank you. I appreciate your post. My childhood made any sort of life impossible.

I'm sorry about the way your life has turned out and I'm sorry for your suffering.

Wishing you peace

 

[Rational man]

Thank you. I appreciate your post. My chilhood made any sort of life impossible.

I'm sorry about the way your life has turned out and I'm sorry for your suffering.

Wishing you peace

wishing you PEACE.

 

[FrozenMango]

I believe many bad things go back to sad childhood. Well written post. thank you

 

[Misswannadie]

Childhood abandonment is not your fault.

Like me, I've noted that many members here are deeply effected by their childhood experiences and memories of it. Unfortunately, these experiences are often traumatizing and scarring. My sense of abandonment is one where i was emotionally abandoned and abused by narcissistic parents. I remember being beaten physically.

The point of my post is this. However much you have suffered and still suffer at the hands of a parent or sibling or partner. None of this is your fault. Absolutely NOTHING.. Nor is it NORMAL behaviour as some narcissists would have you believe.

I think our vulnerability often enables us to sometimes think that we have somehow failed, like we have done wrong.

Well you have NOT done wrong. Like me, the hand given has been hard and difficult and like my terminal illness, i didn't have a choice.

All the while you're members, you know that we are one family here, where love and empathy and support is understood.

Peace.

My father abandonment me when I was a kid for 3 other sons I think and his own family. Never even came to my mom's funeral. She died when I was 11 and I started living with this step sister who used to abuse me and almost traumatized me. She's also a fucking manipulative bitch and I have wanted to die ever since I was 13 or 14 years old .

 

[GettingOut]

Childhood trauma messed up my whole life. It never works to identify a narcissist. Adding sporadic motor neuron disease that is progressive. Becoming financially dependent on the narcissist and when you are no longer able to work full time, your labelled as a liability pushed me over the edge.

I'm exposing her in my final letter. Can't care less how things go when I'm gone. At least the chronic mental, emotional and physical pain won't be there anymore.

 

[Rational man]

My father abandonment me when I was a kid for 3 other sons I think and his own family. Never even came to my mom's funeral. She died when I was 11 and I started living with this step sister who used to abuse me and almost traumatized me. She's also a fucking manipulative bitch and I have wanted to die ever since I was 13 or 14 years old .

Really awful situation, so painful.

Childhood trauma messed up my whole life. It never works to identify a narcissist. Adding sporadic motor neuron disease that is progressive. Becoming financially dependent on the narcissist and when you are no longer able to work full time, your labelled as a liability pushed me over the edge.

I'm exposing her in my final letter. Can't care less how things go when I'm gone. At least the chronic mental, emotional and physical pain won't be there anymore.

I feel your pain, so awful. Its so true about the narcissist. They spin a web of deceit. They are the masters of
manipulation and lies. They are self absorbing in their own distorted pain which they deflect upon people close to them. There is no contentment or happy feelings in the narcissist. They find bitter satisfaction in belittling and controlling people who are vulnerable. I think you will understand as i do in my situation. Though i managed to escape narcissism, i was no doubt left with scars that haunt me to this day. I wish you PEACE❤

Childhood trauma messed up my whole life. It never works to identify a narcissist. Adding sporadic motor neuron disease that is progressive. Becoming financially dependent on the narcissist and when you are no longer able to work full time, your labelled as a liability pushed me over the edge.

I'm exposing her in my final letter. Can't care less how things go when I'm gone. At least the chronic mental, emotional and physical pain won't be there anymore.

I feel your pain, so awful. Its so true about the narcissist. They spin a web of deceit. They are the masters of
manipulation and lies. They are self absorbing in their own distorted pain which they deflect upon people close to them. There is no contentment or happy feelings in the narcissist. They find bitter satisfaction in belittling and controlling people who are vulnerable. I think you will understand as i do in my situation. Though i managed to escape narcissism, i was no doubt left with scars that haunt me to this day. I wish you PEACE❤

Childhood trauma messed up my whole life. It never works to identify a narcissist. Adding sporadic motor neuron disease that is progressive. Becoming financially dependent on the narcissist and when you are no longer able to work full time, your labelled as a liability pushed me over the edge.

I'm exposing her in my final letter. Can't care less how things go when I'm gone. At least the chronic mental, emotional and physical pain won't be there anymore.

I feel your pain, so awful. Its so true about the narcissist. They spin a web of deceit. They are the masters of
manipulation and lies. They are self absorbing in their own distorted pain which they deflect upon people close to them. There is no contentment or happy feelings in the narcissist. They find bitter satisfaction in belittling and controlling people who are vulnerable. I think you will understand as i do in my situation. Though i managed to escape narcissism, i was no doubt left with scars that haunt me to this day. I wish you PEACE❤

I believe many bad things go back to sad childhood. Well written post. thank you

you're welcome. Thankyou and I wish you peace❤

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Thank you for writing this, you are a sweet, class, and compassionate guy, Rational Man. Lots of people could learn from your wisdom.

There is a garbage slogan popping up everywhere now that, "The abuse that happened to you during childhood isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility to fix as an adult." Condescending therapy speak like that only makes traumatized people feel worse.

I sometimes feel like the people who come up with those faux insightful sayings have never actually been through childhood trauma themselves. Blaming ourselves and thinking that it's our fault if we can't "fix" the damage that was done is so noxious and harmful to an individual's sense of self esteem and worth.

The world could use more of your caring sentiment as opposed to the mainstream narratives being peddled to CPTSD sufferers, where we are treated like sick and defective creatures who don't deserve love and compassion unless we magically fix ourselves and pretend like the abuse never happened.

 

[Rational man]

Thanks. Compassion can be hard to find but for any kind of abuse, its so easy from afar and prescribe the theoretical fix. I think true compassion comes from the heart, often through personal suffering. Peace❤

 

[Poor Stargazer]

rational man. I believed i deserved the beatings because i did something wrong when i was little. Thank you for writing this. It helped me a little. ❤

 

[Rational man]

rational man. I believed i deserved the beatings because i did something wrong when i was little. Thank you for writing this. It helped me a little. ❤

you're welcome. I wish you peace❤