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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

🚫Safety is a figment of the imagination🚫
Jul 1, 2020
6,360
in the past 2 days ive tried to join 2 friend discord servers. the first one i just left and the second one someone mentioned my name (same one i have here) "oh :ahhha: yeah its just a name" then i watched for a little bit, thinking about saying something, anything. how am i suppose to make friends if people dont even know i exist. but why am i bothering, theyre just going to hate me, i dont belong anywhere. idk.....i might try a 3rd but i cant see there being any point, ill never say anything. i always feel like im butting in and i should keep my mouth shut.

"you only see whats in front of you" all i see is depression, its what takes up at least 80% of my conversations with people even outside of here. i want to be normal. i want to see normal. i want to at least know it still exists. but i cant. if i want even a chance at recovery i need to know its a thing. i need to know what nonsuicidal is.
 
Last edited:
raindrops

raindrops

Someday, eventually
Mar 29, 2020
429
I feel the same way!!
I was just in the chat on here and I decided not to say anything, I feel just like you, butting in or think well, they'll hate me anyway.

Maybe we just have to say Hi, even though its hard
x
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

🚫Safety is a figment of the imagination🚫
Jul 1, 2020
6,360
I feel the same way!!
I was just in the chat on here and I decided not to say anything, I feel just like you, butting in or think well, they'll hate me anyway.

Maybe we just have to say Hi, even though its hard
x
what to say after hi though. thats the easy part its like following the script you just have to get over the initial anxiety, its the thoughts after that thats the problem. what do i say? eek too much lol
 
raindrops

raindrops

Someday, eventually
Mar 29, 2020
429
what to say after hi though. thats the easy part its like following the script you just have to get over the initial anxiety, its the thoughts after that thats the problem. what do i say? eek too much lol
I do think about the next bit a lot, what to say after hi...
Like here I was thinking "hi, sorry im late to the conversation, hope its okay to join"
on Discord maybe "Hi I was wondering if anyone wanted someone to chat with, would appreciate having someone to talk with regularly, I enjoy... (*add w.e you enjoy* maybe its games, films, music) ...

I think that would be good, its just sending it I suppose, type it, try send it, good thing these people are on the internet too, you can take things at your own speed.
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

🚫Safety is a figment of the imagination🚫
Jul 1, 2020
6,360
I do think about the next bit a lot, what to say after hi...
Like here I was thinking "hi, sorry im late to the conversation, hope its okay to join"
on Discord maybe "Hi I was wondering if anyone wanted someone to chat with, would appreciate having someone to talk with regularly, I enjoy... (*add w.e you enjoy* maybe its games, films, music) ...

I think that would be good, its just sending it I suppose, type it, try send it, good thing these people are on the internet too, you can take things at your own speed.
nothing feels right though. it feels.....forced?

(awesome were talking about how we dont talk :pfff: )
 
raindrops

raindrops

Someday, eventually
Mar 29, 2020
429
nothing feels right though. it feels.....forced?

(awesome were talking about how we dont talk :pfff: )
yeah it can feel forced!

:pfff:
although this conversation i wanted to be apart of :)) so this feels natural. maybe because we're talking about how awkward it feels to start a conversation or join in on one. still, i havent got the courage to type in chat yet... i might just go for it, but from there it will feel forced!! depends who you speak with and what about..
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

🚫Safety is a figment of the imagination🚫
Jul 1, 2020
6,360
i mean..theyre in the middle of talking and you 'walk' over and go "hi". im sorry but in irl youre gonna get funny looks so how can you just not feel that way as well online?

the better thing about the chat here is at least for the most part you know them and they know you so it isnt quite as bad, ive gone there about twice for just quick advice but that was it. YAY lets introduce strangers to the equation. whats the worse that can happen.

maybe it would be best to start out here with the people we know then move on to other chats elsewhere?
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

🚫Safety is a figment of the imagination🚫
Jul 1, 2020
6,360
I had a look in Discord, could not make any sense of what was going on and how to get anything out of it.
discord itself or the chats?

discord itself takes some figuring out, thankfully for me it was/is just me and my friend so i had my time to play around, click buttons and figure it out.
i however find chats in general to be all over the place and confusing, everyone is having a different conversation and theres like 50 of them. the 2 servers i checked out had slow chats but looking at the last time anyone said anything, why would i? it might get answered tomorrow. so yeah...thats not helping it at all
 
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death137

death137

miserable
Jun 25, 2020
1,165
I never tried discord but I chat here and in few other places and I sometimes feel sorry for the ppl because they are talking to me even if some of them initiated the chat. I worry that they are talking to me because they are just bored or out of pity. My English for the most part is direct because of limited dictionary knowledge. But above all I feel I'm not an interesting person. Irl I feel even worse.
 

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