sharpiemarker
Member
- Sep 22, 2024
- 12
I was supposed to do it tommorrow, but I changed my mind on the past two days, but I think I am changing my mind again. I was supposed to even get on the recovery forum, but it's no use. The universe is trying to show me I shouldn't back down. Today the thing that helped me cope broke apart and maybe I have a couple coping mechanisms left, but so what? I won't be waiting around to see them stop working too. One semi-okay thing happens in my life and I try to jump off it's back into a better future, but it always ends the same. I always regret everything I do, and for the most part I regret that I haven't CTB yet. Why am I so fucking dull? Can't I finally fucking understand nothing will ever change? There will always be "plans" or someone's birthady or whatever else fuckass shit that I can "stay" for, but it won't change how fucked I am either. I think I accepted it for good this time. It's not like there will be times in life where you will be 1000% sure. Anyways this kinda set me back, because I wanted to fast a little before I die (personal reasons not related to death), so I'm thinking about monday night.
