N

noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,172
I am currently reading Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace.

"That certain persons simply will not like you no matter what you do." is a quote.

I think there is so much wisdom and truth in it.

You meet people with some your click instantly. In some instanes it is very one-sided.

Like my (literally) insane obsession with the STEM professor I met. I often make people laugh with irony and witty humor. But for him it was all bullshit. My analyses were superficial to him. Porbably media narratives. He could play me like an instrument.
He was extremely down to earth. I wish I was like that. And I wish I was that intelligent. But if I was that intelligent I would not care as much about intelligence. No matter what I did he did not like me. I could not do anything. He hated my pathology to make predictions all time. My quirk seemingly is to do predictions all the time. And his quirk was to hate this behavior. Maybe he did not hate me this much. I think I tend to ambiguity intolerance. He also alluded to that. (In contrast to my therapists they never saw it lol.) For a long time I self-loathed me for his judgement. I realized I think he really pitied me. If you are that smart you don't judge people in a clinic and it was obvious something very bad happened to me. He asked me what happened and I stayed quiet.

I think I could have gained some sympathy points if I told him my abuse story. But I think this would have been inappropriate.

I cannot think of more examples. I cannot interact with women without getting paranoid. And I get a lot of sympathy points for people who listen to my abuse story. Well I had a crush on a transwoman and became paranoid. She probably considered me insane and I felt extremely ashamed. I had a benzo withdrawal and it made my pain so much worse. It was an extreme nightmare. It was like panick attacks all the time. It was really insane.
 
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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,687
My story - In my last job. I was nice to everyone at work, geniuenely cared for my work colleagues and did my best to help them with their work when assistance was needed but still my colleagues gossiped, ignored and excluded me at work. No matter what I did people in my workplace didn't like me. I did everything right I always said good morning to everyone at work, I always asked how people were doing if they were sick and I genuinely took a real interest in my colleagues as people. I am a sociable person.

I was the youngest in the department me being 25 at the time and everyone else was older than me.

● When it Christmas at work I sent the whole department and my boss a Christmas e card and nobody said thank you this was just weeks in my job. I took time to write that card. I write meaningful messages in cards I send to people.

● An older woman who I thought was my friend at work in the office she surrounded herself around all these male colleagues in the department and excluded me from the group. Everyone knew where I was but she ignored me and so the did the other colleagues. That's when I knew everyone at work pretty much gossiping and complaining about me.

● My colleagues who I saw everyday and worked on case enquiries never commented on how I was doing things instead constantly went behind my back to our boss.

● my boss belittled me and made fun of my immaturity. His comments broke my confidence.

● When I upset an entilted A- hole customer my comments sent the department to a total meltdown. My colleagues pretty much gossiped about me and then I got reputation as newbie who upset the customer, the label never went away. I took responsibility for my mistakes but the management and Everyone else too at work gave me a hard time over it. Everyone else at work where scared of the customer's and took their BS whereas I didn't and wasn't scared to challenge their entitlement.

Getting fired I struggled to understand why people didn't like me because I always so good to everyone eventually I learnt that I just didn't fit in to their workplace clique hence the disrespect and exclusion.
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
4,812
I got hated on in school no matter what I do. Normies would never explain why they hated me but I could tell that they saw one glance at me and hated me almost straight away. My theory is that they hate me because of my irl mannerisms and how I do visibly awkward things due to my autism. I couldn't really do anything against this as this is just who I am. I don't care about what normies say to me right now but I did get insulted and hurt back when it happened as I was a young kid. Nowadays, if anybody were to be rude to me, I would simply do nothing and take solace in the fact that life would cause them to suffer a lot
 
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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,687
I got hated on in school no matter what I do. Normies would never explain why they hated me but I could tell that they saw one glance at me and hated me almost straight away. My theory is that they hate me because of my irl mannerisms and how I do visibly awkward things due to my autism. I couldn't really do anything against this as this is just who I am. I don't care about what normies say to me right now but I did get insulted and hurt back when it happened as I was a young kid. Nowadays, if anybody were to be rude to me, I would simply do nothing and take solace in the fact that life would cause them to suffer a lot
@ijustwishtodie This is same society that gets shocked when someone kills themselves, what the hell were these people expecting to happen? Why should a person live in a world where nobody cares about them and constantly excludes them ?

This is why nowadays I roll my eyes everytime I see on the local news in my city or online tributes whenever someone kills themselves. All I think is " oh please"

The problem is society doesn't value or care for people and only cares for those who fit in with the crowd. It's so sad.
 
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sadak_the_wanderer

sadak_the_wanderer

An appropriate painting
Mar 19, 2018
245
Nick Cave has a song, "When I First Came to Town," about a man who travels from place to place, as he is initially welcomed each time and just as surely becomes the target of hate. It is based off of "Katy Cruel." The narrator cannot understand why this continues to happen to him, but knows he will be again driven from this town with broken bones.

I have never been able to escape this feeling.
 
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Plentiful_Despair

Plentiful_Despair

Experienced
Aug 23, 2024
265
I don't care if people like me or not, it's all random anyway. There is no real intrinsic cause for any human emotions, there is no inherent morality or ethic mind. The murderer and the saint both believe they are justified.
 
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CTB Dream

CTB Dream

Injury damage disabl hard talk no argu make fun et
Sep 17, 2022
2,537
Me rly undrstd wat mean me rly know 100% entr unvrs injury damage me ya me know, me know how all human ignr no mtr wat situ me rly know human how ignr prtnd no exst prtnd no hpnany,

bt tell u truth this thry say no human do sams alws no tru, ppl f know way manp way chng same algrthm can make any human like etc this truth brain ths truth life, this make thing wrs see exst way make any prsn like still get awfl reslt all time
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
20,971
I have an ongoing story about someone who will never like me no matter what I do. If you know enough about me then you already know that the person I am speaking of is me. Joke's on him though, I'll also never like him no matter what he does.
 
unsaiddes

unsaiddes

Member
Apr 25, 2023
74
Years ago in college, I was treated pretty badly by some girls that were my "friends", they kept me around to have someone to make fun of when I left the room. I bent over backwards to make them like me; I drove them everywhere because they didn't have a car on campus, I paid for many of their meals, I helped them with homework, I was a good listener and I always tried to make them laugh. They thought I was cheap entertainment and a convenient doormat.

It was all for literally nothing. In the end, I graduated early, and when I moved out of the dorm none of them even said goodbye.

The only positive to that whole debacle is that I would never be that stupid in the pursuit of being liked again.
 
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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,687
Years ago in college, I was treated pretty badly by some girls that were my "friends", they kept me around to have someone to make fun of when I left the room. I bent over backwards to make them like me; I drove them everywhere because they didn't have a car on campus, I paid for many of their meals, I helped them with homework, I was a good listener and I always tried to make them laugh. They thought I was cheap entertainment and a convenient doormat.

It was all for literally nothing. In the end, I graduated early, and when I moved out of the dorm none of them even said goodbye.

The only positive to that whole debacle is that I would never be that stupid in the pursuit of being liked again.
@unsaiddes People are so cruel. Your experience is actually something similar to what I experienced when I was in secondary school and friends with a group of girls. I was the only black girl in the girl group.

These girls when I was not around said mean things about me behind my back, never defended me when I was being builled at school and I experienced the girls in the group excluding me at times from things.

When I was 15 on a school trip to Paris one of the friends in the group was disabled and she couldn't sit upstairs in the restaurant the teachers had booked for lunch. She had to sit downstairs.

The school allowed for her to sit downstairs with a teacher and her friends. When I went downstairs to sit with the girl one of the girls in the group said "it's fine" and I can sit up stairs. She walked away with all the other girls in the group.

Downstairs was the disabled girl and the other 4 white girls in the group. I was made to sit upstairs with other people on the school

The white same girl who told me to sit upstairs when I was in sixth form who allowed another white girl in the group to push me out
 
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