Venting cbt options on psych ward

[rottedfukkup]

i have privacy from sight but always a staff member within earshot i get checked once or twice within 24hr period but will never have certainty a random staff encounter its written to check visually if any suspicious / strange noise i have time alone but not in a way because of how uncertain it is

all post is checked on cctv 2 nurses before handed to me

i have vitamin suppluments ect that are relaxed with me i have had green tea tablets before and technically could caffiene od but i failed an 8g caffiene od years ago as i panicked and chickend out called myself an ambulence once it started kicking in but it was impulsive not planned and 15 years ago but i have to assume i could bail out again but convulsions and vomiting loud anyway i would bring attention to myself

i have no real anchor points or a brain to know how to hang and no way i could be silent during the whole process

ive been on section for 10 years now and in kids care homes since childhood i have no family or future i have not gone outside for 15 months or left a single room i have no social contact im dead from the inside i need to get the body done im trapped inside

theres nowhere for me to get discharged to i have autism and adhd social services have nowhere to place me realistically this is pretty much it forever more thats been my whole life since a kid locked in quiet rooms restrained socially excluded and alone treated as a problem and wrong im not a human im difficult hard work same both ends tho i cant tolerate sudden movement crowds flashing light questions requests tasks conversation massive anxiety and meltdown makes everything worse and worse

i just dont know how to do it i have read all the resources nothing seems possible but the worse thing is if i fail and get caught my life each day will get so much worse i will have that regret i feel so trapped as it is but i will lose that opputunity its all i got that one chance to be free of it its not so trapped bc i know if i get a method i have a bit to work with atm mentally too much to bare if i lose that

so what would i realistically have its gotta be one shot i cant fuck it up but im stupid and i have staff outside my room cant order stuff in or go outside wwyd with this?

creative methods are risky and unpredictable conventional methods arent feasible to resource or put in place i bet theres something i could do what do u think?

vsed i dont think i can do it i have diagnosed anorexia i have it now 14 years but i know i couldnt do vsed it would of already happened if it was possible for me to do it if anything i think my anorexia maybe not others but it makes it harder bc semi starvation long term i think it makes it harder food is so important im always hungry as it is

 

[rottedfukkup]

does anyone know what i can do whats a good method if someone has this situation of what an option that could be applied as an idea or thought just to share how do u think it

 

[BlueCup]

The only solution i can think of is to fake wellbeing long enough for them to consider discharging you but I suppose you thought of that already and you're not able to, so sorry.

 

[rottedfukkup]

i have thought that is possibly my only option is to wait out for my options to increase in a different eviourment, i cant change my autism and adhd they arent waiting for any change in me just a facility that will be sutible and accepts me i have been to 34 placements now i just got stuck in this room

i dont know how to use bitcoins to buy stuff and i dont know how to do knots for hanging

i have bad health lack of sun and fresh air bad sleep malnutrision yadda yadda blah blah just rubbish life choices my heart and circulation and muscles and stuff feel feels weirder all the time im lazy i tell myself i scroll phone play games and sureylllly im gonna just hopefully have heart attack maybe even then it doesnt mean ur gonna die tho just wishful thinking

ive gotten too much used to it and i loose motivation to get it done its called passive suicide idelation im not being proactive

i been talking here and idk i will lose interest soon proberly but i like people to talk sometimes

 

[N3UR0T1C]

Just fake wellness long enough to be discharged. Are you currently voluntary or have you been remanded by order of a Judge or Magistrate?

 

[rottedfukkup]

@N33dT0D13 i cant im autistic im not recieving treatment here im not allowed to live independtly ive been in adult residential care when not in hospital they can be strict too they put u on a dols even if not on section in hospital anyway waiting it out idk if its gonna be much different care homes are strict too

im on section thats the law name and probs the same as the judge or magistrate thing and dols is same dont get to say where u live and how u live and say no i dont want that to happen forever till i die i wanna speed up that process they have too much control not fit for humans to live this way

whats the best method under restricted life that is easy to follow and get right if i mess up i could lose a lot dont wanna make it worse

@LittleJem this is new information to me about night night i remember before when reading the guides here night night involved pads and gorilla tape (banned all tape here is so i threw away with the idea esp since strong tape also repeating certain areas get right or fails i dont know if i know the right areas in my throat) i will look this up again maybe i read wrong so a strip of material is all? this is a certain night night an alternitive kind this is under the pinned for night night?

 

[LittleJem]

I remember it's the tourniquet method