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Aleksandra

Aleksandra

żyję cicho krwawiąc
Aug 28, 2019
330
i have everything i need, just on time for tomorrow. i've met some lovely people here, i'm writing this now so i can keep talking until i finally log off. you're all wonderful people and i'm so happy i had the pleasure of knowing a lot of you before my departure. i'll be doing it at around 8pm uk time tomorrow, but i'm awake until 10am. can't lie, i'm a bit nervous but excited, it's been a wild journey. i wish it didn't have to be this way.
 
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bluesky1972-2019

bluesky1972-2019

Specialist
May 21, 2019
377
I wish you well and hope you can find the peace you are seeking. It's a very brave thing to do and as long as you're sure you've tried all things to survive. Good luck with whatever method you are using.
 
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wendydong1

Experienced
Jul 31, 2019
295
all the best. I am now too angry to CTB...
 
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Aleksandra

Aleksandra

żyję cicho krwawiąc
Aug 28, 2019
330
I wish you well and hope you can find the peace you are seeking. It's a very brave thing to do and as long as you're sure you've tried all things to survive. Good luck with whatever method you are using.
i've tried everything, luckily completed my bucket list too so now i'm just having a nice warm bath and gunna rewatch my favourite show all night:> i might not even sleep until around 4/5 and do it then. i've chosen to do SN. i am a little scared but i think that's just my SI kicking in
all the best. I am now too angry to CTB...

how come friend?
 
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bluesky1972-2019

bluesky1972-2019

Specialist
May 21, 2019
377
i've tried everything, luckily completed my bucket list too so now i'm just having a nice warm bath and gunna rewatch my favourite show all night:> i might not even sleep until around 4/5 and do it then. i've chosen to do SN. i am a little scared but i think that's just my SI kicking in


how come friend?
I'm planning on using SN too. Have you followed the 48hr regime? I'm just trying my Meto for any side effects. So far 24hrs with nothing wrong.
 
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Aleksandra

Aleksandra

żyję cicho krwawiąc
Aug 28, 2019
330
I'm planning on using SN too. Have you followed the 48hr regime? I'm just trying my Meto for any side effects. So far 24hrs with nothing wrong.
the method i'm doing is via capsules and my antipsychotics have anti vomiting properties to it. i haven't eaten for the past day anyway so i won't start now
 
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bluesky1972-2019

bluesky1972-2019

Specialist
May 21, 2019
377
the method i'm doing is via capsules and my antipsychotics have anti vomiting properties to it. i haven't eaten for the past day anyway so i won't start now
Oh right hope all goes as you want it. I'm planning on taking 25g SN dissolved in 100ml water.
 
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Aleksandra

Aleksandra

żyję cicho krwawiąc
Aug 28, 2019
330
Oh right hope all goes as you want it. I'm planning on taking 25g SN dissolved in 100ml water.
yes i'm still on the fence of if i want to take 20 or 25g of it, as i'd need to take 25 pills opposed to 20, i can't swallow salty water so it wouldn't work for me:(
 
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bluesky1972-2019

bluesky1972-2019

Specialist
May 21, 2019
377
yes i'm still on the fence of if i want to take 20 or 25g of it, as i'd need to take 25 pills opposed to 20, i can't swallow salty water so it wouldn't work for me:(
I've already tried 15g table salt dissolved in 100ml water and drank it ok. So looks like it's a good method for me.
 
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Stan

Stan

Factoid Hunter
Aug 29, 2019
2,589
i have everything i need, just on time for tomorrow. i've met some lovely people here, i'm writing this now so i can keep talking until i finally log off. you're all wonderful people and i'm so happy i had the pleasure of knowing a lot of you before my departure. i'll be doing it at around 8pm uk time tomorrow, but i'm awake until 10am. can't lie, i'm a bit nervous but excited, it's been a wild journey. i wish it didn't have to be this way.
I can only wish you reach the peace you are dreaming of. All my hopes and thoughts are with you
 
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Aleksandra

Aleksandra

żyję cicho krwawiąc
Aug 28, 2019
330
I can only wish you reach the peace you are dreaming of. All my hopes and thoughts are with you
well i'm still here for about under a day:D
I've already tried 15g table salt dissolved in 100ml water and drank it ok. So looks like it's a good method for me.

i could never even gargle it! i hate the taste of salt. wish i had your tolerance to it xd
 
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bluesky1972-2019

bluesky1972-2019

Specialist
May 21, 2019
377
well i'm still here for about under a day:D


i could never even gargle it! i hate the taste of salt. wish i had your tolerance to it xd
Well I hope I'm brave enough to go through with it. I guess it should be exciting in a way that I'd be leaving this place when I choose and not just waiting for old age or whatever other reason to die. I often wonder what's next if anything? Do we just go back to where ever we came from before we were born? All very deep really.
 
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Aleksandra

Aleksandra

żyję cicho krwawiąc
Aug 28, 2019
330
Well I hope I'm brave enough to go through with it. I guess it should be exciting in a way that I'd be leaving this place when I choose and not just waiting for old age or whatever other reason to die. I often wonder what's next if anything? Do we just go back to where ever we came from before we were born? All very deep really.
there's a thing to tell young children and dying animals, that there's a rainbow bridge, and that's where they'll be going, comforting them. i like to think that's what it is, crossing the rainbow bridge
 
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Dystopia

Dystopia

💤💤💤
Jul 22, 2019
367
I'm really sorry it's come to this for you. I really appreciated your messages and how genuinely kind and warm you are; especially in your horrible circumstances.

I'm also sorry you had to deal with some nasty people here on top of it all...

Safe travels :hug:
 
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bluesky1972-2019

bluesky1972-2019

Specialist
May 21, 2019
377
there's a thing to tell young children and dying animals, that there's a rainbow bridge, and that's where they'll be going, comforting them. i like to think that's what it is, crossing the rainbow bridge
Well I hope you find your rainbow bridge and the peace you are seeking as we all are.
 
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Aleksandra

Aleksandra

żyję cicho krwawiąc
Aug 28, 2019
330
I'm really sorry it's come to this for you. I really appreciated your messages and how genuinely kind and warm you are; especially in your horrible circumstances.

I'm also sorry you had to deal with some nasty people here on top of it all...

Safe travels :hug:
don't be sorry! i'm glad you enjoyed my company, i hope i made your life even a little more bearable, as you did mine!:>
Well I hope you find your rainbow bridge and the peace you are seeking as we all are.
if you ever go through with it, i'll personally greet you on the other side of that rainbow bridge!
 
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bluesky1972-2019

bluesky1972-2019

Specialist
May 21, 2019
377
don't be sorry! i'm glad you enjoyed my company, i hope i made your life even a little more bearable, as you did mine!:>

if you ever go through with it, i'll personally greet you on the other side of that rainbow bridge!
Well that would be something to look forward to. I hope I can find your Rainbow Bridge someday soon and leave this place behind.
 
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Fragile

Fragile

Broken
Jul 7, 2019
1,496
sad to see you go, i really related to your posts and story.

but i really wish that you find peace and may this attempt be your last., you don't deserve more suffering.
 
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Aleksandra

Aleksandra

żyję cicho krwawiąc
Aug 28, 2019
330
sad to see you go, i really related to your posts and story.

but i really wish that you find peace and may this attempt be your last., you don't deserve more suffering.
thank you, you and many other people made my life more tolerable on my last days, i thank you from the bottom of my heart for that ♥️
 
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IsadoraBeauxdraps

IsadoraBeauxdraps

would like to follow that butterfly
Aug 23, 2019
160
I hope you will find the peace that you deserve.
We will miss you.
I feel sad :aw:
 
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Aleksandra

Aleksandra

żyję cicho krwawiąc
Aug 28, 2019
330
I hope you will find the peace that you deserve.
We will miss you.
I feel sad :aw:
i'm feeling a bit blue about it too, i've been crying for the past hour because i just thought back about how my life went, what i personally could've done to not be this way, what i could've done to help others. i usually do this before i have a serious consideration, and i find an excuse to not do it, but it's different now. i don't have that excuse, i have no desire to carry on. all i want to do is do it now - but i know that would just be out of impulse and i should keep to my initial plan for perhaps i may change my mind. i have about 5 cigarettes left, and by the last one i should decide whether or not this is what i want. i think that's a good plan. i'll miss you too
plus, peaky blinders new episode comes out tomorrow, i don't wanna miss it lol
 
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mnjkl

Member
Aug 29, 2019
67
i'm feeling a bit blue about it too, i've been crying for the past hour because i just thought back about how my life went, what i personally could've done to not be this way, what i could've done to help others. i usually do this before i have a serious consideration, and i find an excuse to not do it, but it's different now. i don't have that excuse, i have no desire to carry on. all i want to do is do it now - but i know that would just be out of impulse and i should keep to my initial plan for perhaps i may change my mind. i have about 5 cigarettes left, and by the last one i should decide whether or not this is what i want. i think that's a good plan. i'll miss you too
plus, peaky blinders new episode comes out tomorrow, i don't wanna miss it lol

That feeling is the reason why the rest of us are still here I think... It's hard to ignore. IMO you might as well catch the new episode first lol
 
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Aleksandra

Aleksandra

żyję cicho krwawiąc
Aug 28, 2019
330
That feeling is the reason why the rest of us are still here I think... It's hard to ignore.
i think what did it for me was realising that doing that, only ever really hurt myself. you sit and think about the past, thinking what you could've done, pointless. because you didn't and you can't anymore. when i realised that, i started feeling this rotting feeling, like the air freshener was no longer working to disguise the stench, all this time i was thinking of the past i let myself decay, and i don't want to get better anymore
and about the new episode, yes i'll have to postpone my bye bye time to 10:30, can take the SN at around 10 and drift away to the episode. good show, would highly recommend to watch. xd
 
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scorpiooo2

scorpiooo2

saddest grl
Aug 23, 2019
112
I hope you can find the peace that you are looking for. im Sorry that the world has been so cruel to you, I'm deeply sorry it had to come to this. ❤️
 
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Aleksandra

Aleksandra

żyję cicho krwawiąc
Aug 28, 2019
330
just adding this here because i guess i have a fear of being forgotten, my name is natalia:D
I hope you can find the peace that you are looking for. im Sorry that the world has been so cruel to you, I'm deeply sorry it had to come to this. ❤
thank you for your kind words, and don't be sorry!
 
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IsadoraBeauxdraps

IsadoraBeauxdraps

would like to follow that butterfly
Aug 23, 2019
160
just adding this here because i guess i have a fear of being forgotten, my name is natalia:D

thank you for your kind words, and don't be sorry!
A beautiful name.
 
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mnjkl

Member
Aug 29, 2019
67
i think what did it for me was realising that doing that, only ever really hurt myself. you sit and think about the past, thinking what you could've done, pointless. because you didn't and you can't anymore. when i realised that, i started feeling this rotting feeling, like the air freshener was no longer working to disguise the stench, all this time i was thinking of the past i let myself decay, and i don't want to get better anymore
and about the new episode, yes i'll have to postpone my bye bye time to 10:30, can take the SN at around 10 and drift away to the episode. good show, would highly recommend to watch. xd


Yes, it's also one of my favorite shows. Personally I've found that great writing, movies, and shows have given me a reason to hold on for a bit longer. They can take you away from your own circumstances for awhile and give you a glimpse of what it would be like to be someone else. I think the reason why I'm still here is that there are always more great episodes to come... Good luck with whatever you decide : )
 
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Aleksandra

Aleksandra

żyję cicho krwawiąc
Aug 28, 2019
330
Yes, it's also one of my favorite shows. Personally I've found that great writing, movies, and shows have given me a reason to hold on for a bit longer. They can take you away from your own circumstances for awhile and give you a glimpse of what it would be like to be someone else. I think the reason why I'm still here is that there are always more great episodes to come... Good luck with whatever you decide : )
i just watched episode 4 so i don't even need to wait till tomorrow, a little underwhelming but yes, that's what made me hold on for a while. i studied film studies actually, worked in cinema too! i'm a sucker for good films and shows
A beautiful name.
haha it's the first time i've called myself that since 2016? usually tell people it's natalie so they think i'm english. ;)
 
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LMFAO FOCKERS

Lost in Aokigahara
May 26, 2019
528
@zajebistakaczka be who you are in life and death. These are your last moments to shine Mizz Natalia!

You deserve to be acknowledged. I hope you find peace in the manner that you desire. Safe travels darling!
 
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