Discussion Can't wait until 2023 for potential euthanasia

[exhausteduntreatable]

I am so angry that my government denies euthanasia to people like me. I may potentially have the option to start the process in 2023. But that's a big maybe.

I'm exhausted just trying to get my will in order and make sure my dad is the beneficiary of all my savings. I don't want my abusive mother to be able to get her claws into anything. Problem is doing this without him catching on when I can barely maintain my sanity. I should also probably wait until after Christmas so I don't wreck that. As hard as it is to go on. I also don't know if I can at this rate of mental deterioration. I am terrified of surviving and waking up in the hospital. I wanted to do it in a hotel but don't want my dad stuck with the cleaning bill which could be astronomical.

I could do it at work since I work overnights but I would only have a little over an hour realistically on my break and since it's a hospital I would be very very close to help. If I wait until the new year there is a shift that would give me several hours. I think 1000ml of 70 percent isopropyl alcohol taken on the empty stomach of a less than 80 pound female with hundreds of antidepressants, sedatives, sleeping pills, antipsychotics, etc., would do the trick? I have read up on similar suicides but I am not sure. Maybe best to do it outside at a strategic location late at night- though I feel guilty for whoever finds me.

 

[lifecouldbedream]

May I ask what situation you are in? I don't think you should go the isopropyl alcohol route, even with medication you are likely to both be in a lot of pain and not even succeed. Hanging/Partial Hanging/Night Night takes some practice but is painless and all you need is a rope. If you can't get that right then look into the Sodium Nitrite megathreads, that's another painless way thats guranteed to work. If for some reason you can't get sodium nitrite I recently found a very cheap and easy painless method where you mix vinegar and baking soda in a plastic bag around your head, the CO2 makes you pass out painlessly.

 

[LivvenDe]

May I ask what situation you are in? I don't think you should go the isopropyl alcohol route, even with medication you are likely to both be in a lot of pain and not even succeed. Hanging/Partial Hanging/Night Night takes some practice but is painless and all you need is a rope. If you can't get that right then look into the Sodium Nitrite megathreads, that's another painless way thats guranteed to work. If for some reason you can't get sodium nitrite I recently found a very cheap and easy painless method where you mix vinegar and baking soda in a plastic bag around your head, the CO2 makes you pass out painlessly.

Do u have more info on this method?
Never mind, found your other post ;)

 

[lifecouldbedream]

Do u have more info on this method?
Never mind, found your other post ;)

Here's the post for anyone else interested

 

[exhausteduntreatable]

May I ask what situation you are in? I don't think you should go the isopropyl alcohol route, even with medication you are likely to both be in a lot of pain and not even succeed. Hanging/Partial Hanging/Night Night takes some practice but is painless and all you need is a rope. If you can't get that right then look into the Sodium Nitrite megathreads, that's another painless way thats guranteed to work. If for some reason you can't get sodium nitrite I recently found a very cheap and easy painless method where you mix vinegar and baking soda in a plastic bag around your head, the CO2 makes you pass out painlessly.

In general? 15 years of failed and traumatic psychiatric "treatment" for major depressive disorder. Labelled treatment resistant. Have a ridiculous list of other diagnoses as well. Chronic insomnia. I can't sleep. Relapsed into anorexia. Dropping into the high 70 pound range and I live in terror of gaining and also forced treatment again. Getting out of bed is hell. Going to work where I am abused by the public and often my colleagues is helI.
I tried partial hanging/positional asphyxia in the past. I woke up on the floor after my rope came undone from my bedpost. Felt so stupid. Those methods sounds interesting but I'm afraid of backing out. I'm very used to taking pills on the other hand.

 

[lifecouldbedream]

In general? 15 years of failed and traumatic psychiatric "treatment" for major depressive disorder. Labelled treatment resistant. Have a ridiculous list of other diagnoses as well. Chronic insomnia. I can't sleep. Relapsed into anorexia. Dropping into the high 70 pound range and I live in terror of gaining and also forced treatment again. Getting out of bed is hell. Going to work where I am abused by the public and often my colleagues is helI.
I tried partial hanging/positional asphyxia in the past. I woke up on the floor after my rope came undone from my bedpost. Felt so stupid. Those methods sounds interesting but I'm afraid of backing out. I'm very used to taking pills on the other hand.

May I suggest you try psilocybin mushrooms? They have been shown to regenerate and change neural pathways, completely curing mental disorders like PTSD and depression in some people. They arent a cure all but I think they could help you a lot. Unfortunately they are illegal in the US so you may have to grow your own. If you're interested I have the resources on doing that and spores to grow them are fortunately legal in all but 3 states.

If you still wish to go through with it anyway, I strongly suggest not doing iso. Sodium Nitrite is probably up your alley as you just ingest two substances an hour apart and fast for a day.

 

[exhausteduntreatable]

May I suggest you try psilocybin mushrooms? They have been shown to regenerate and change neural pathways, completely curing mental disorders like PTSD and depression in some people. They arent a cure all but I think they could help you a lot. Unfortunately they are illegal in the US so you may have to grow your own. If you're interested I have the resources on doing that and spores to grow them are fortunately legal in all but 3 states.

If you still wish to go through with it anyway, I strongly suggest not doing iso. Sodium Nitrite is probably up your alley as you just ingest two substances an hour apart and fast for a day.

I'm in Canada. The government has actually approved the official use for some palliative patients but once again simply doesn't give a damn about the severely mentally ill and has blocked them being used for those patients. I guess I would try it. I know a supplier. At this point I am so exhausted though. I think my brain is irrevocably damaged from the lifelong mental illness.
SN seems hard to acquire and to have mixed results. I just want to go to sleep.

 

[lifecouldbedream]

I'm in Canada. The government has actually approved the official use for some palliative patients but once again simply doesn't give a damn about the severely mentally ill and has blocked them being used for those patients. I guess I would try it. I know a supplier. At this point I am so exhausted though. I think my brain is irrevocably damaged from the lifelong mental illness.
SN seems hard to acquire and to have mixed results. I just want to go to sleep.

Well, good luck with your method then--or the shrooms if you decide to try them

 

[exhausteduntreatable]

I can give the shrooms a go. A relative has access. I'm just not particularly optimistic. I think my brain is absolutely wrecked. I don't have much faith in my method though either. Ending up in the psych ward here... the worst. So I'm hand wringing.

 

[lifecouldbedream]

I can give the shrooms a go. A relative has access. I'm just not particularly optimistic. I think my brain is absolutely wrecked. I don't have much faith in my method though either. Ending up in the psych ward here... the worst. So I'm hand wringing.

Isopropyl alcohol, even with all of those meds not a very reliable method. I think the only absolutely foolproof method is the baking soda + vinegar as there is no potential for failure when unconscious. I backed out when I tried it but I barely lasted 5 seconds and didn't mix the solution. If you mix the solution you will likely be out within seconds. I know its hard to fight SI but SI can be very strong for pills too, so I think this is just a given with any methods. Still wish I had some opiate to just inject and pass out with a plastic bag over my head though, I think thats even better as you can just ride a wave of euphoria to your death. And I understand that feeling of being exhausted and depressed, maybe not to your extent but taking mushrooms definitely put a new light on life for me. I could actually "feel" the chemicals and nerves in my brain and I actually just felt.... good. For no reason even. Things that would make me angry or upset I could take much more lightly and I had the energy to actually engage in conversations with people.

 

[juraviel]

can you even drink 4 glasses of water, much less of a liter of pure alcohol? forget it. you'll just projectile vomit everywhere.

 

[Disappointered]

You might be able to get access before 2023 if you're in ontario. some docs might do it if you have cumulative problems that include something that isn't mental health, even if mental health is the main area.

I wouldn't really know but I also don't think the alcohol idea sounds all that reliable. A good number on this forum would suggest SN is decent. It's definitely reliable if you do it right and go through the resources threads about it.

 

[exhausteduntreatable]

can you even drink 4 glasses of water, much less of a liter of pure alcohol? forget it. you'll just projectile vomit everywhere.

It's been done before. I have looked up suicide reports. Both men and women of varying ages. As someone with a pretty severe eating disorder I can chug and keep down two litres of water in a couple minutes easy.

 

[juraviel]

It's been done before. I have looked up suicide reports. Both men and women of varying ages. As someone with a pretty severe eating disorder I can chug and keep down two litres of water in a couple minutes easy.

im not saying it's impossible. but you're really wanna have to do it. cause, you know, seems likely to me like a 3rd of the way through you'll decide this was a bad idea.

 

[exhausteduntreatable]

im not saying it's impossible. but you're really wanna have to do it. cause, you know, seems likely to me like a 3rd of the way through you'll decide this was a bad idea.

I'm not really scared of backing out mentally with this method but I think you're right about a high chance of the body rejecting it when it comes to od's. I have however read of successful and unsuccessful cases of isopropyl overdoses. The unsuccessful ones were quite serious and involved downing half of what I have on hand by much larger people. But they received medical intervention shortly after.

You might be able to get access before 2023 if you're in ontario. some docs might do it if you have cumulative problems that include something that isn't mental health, even if mental health is the main area.

I wouldn't really know but I also don't think the alcohol idea sounds all that reliable. A good number on this forum would suggest SN is decent. It's definitely reliable if you do it right and go through the resources threads about it.

Not Ontario unfortunately. My chronic health issues wouldn't be considered terminal though they are very painful and detract from my quality of life certainly.

Thanks, I definitely will. I remember lurking here years ago and reading up but I need a refresher course. I am also quite impulsive and jumping appeals to me. Would have to be off a bridge though. Too many horror stories about freak landings killing pedestrians.

Isopropyl alcohol, even with all of those meds not a very reliable method. I think the only absolutely foolproof method is the baking soda + vinegar as there is no potential for failure when unconscious. I backed out when I tried it but I barely lasted 5 seconds and didn't mix the solution. If you mix the solution you will likely be out within seconds. I know its hard to fight SI but SI can be very strong for pills too, so I think this is just a given with any methods. Still wish I had some opiate to just inject and pass out with a plastic bag over my head though, I think thats even better as you can just ride a wave of euphoria to your death. And I understand that feeling of being exhausted and depressed, maybe not to your extent but taking mushrooms definitely put a new light on life for me. I could actually "feel" the chemicals and nerves in my brain and I actually just felt.... good. For no reason even. Things that would make me angry or upset I could take much more lightly and I had the energy to actually engage in conversations with people.

I was reading your post about that. Crazy how benign seeming products can bowl you over like that. I suppose any of us would have to be in the right state of mind for any method, yes. That physical reaction of getting away seems deeply instinctual even in suicidal people. Me too. The opiate high seems preferable. Definitely worth a try with the shrooms I guess if I am going to try to hold out past Christmas. I really feel on the verge of snapping and it freaks me out though. I was ready to run out of work during the middle of my shift the other day. I could see that leading to a jumper type scenario. At least my dad wouldn't have to be involved with finding me. Sometimes bodies aren't even recovered from the water.

 

[nottheend]

May I ask what situation you are in? I don't think you should go the isopropyl alcohol route, even with medication you are likely to both be in a lot of pain and not even succeed. Hanging/Partial Hanging/Night Night takes some practice but is painless and all you need is a rope. If you can't get that right then look into the Sodium Nitrite megathreads, that's another painless way thats guranteed to work. If for some reason you can't get sodium nitrite I recently found a very cheap and easy painless method where you mix vinegar and baking soda in a plastic bag around your head, the CO2 makes you pass out painlessly.

Hi sorry to ask but I'm intrigued buy the vinegar and baking soda method ive never heard anything relating to this do you have any more information

 

[lifecouldbedream]

Hi sorry to ask but I'm intrigued buy the vinegar and baking soda method ive never heard anything relating to this do you have any more information

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...-co2-reaction-method-and-my-test-of-it.75109/

I made a post describing my experience with it. All you do is mix enough vinegar and baking soda to fill the bag with 25% CO2 concentration, about 1 tbsp baking soda to 1 cup vinegar per gallon of CO2.

 

[nottheend]

Hi sorry to ask but I'm intrigued buy the vinegar and baking soda method ive never heard anything

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...-co2-reaction-method-and-my-test-of-it.75109/

I made a post describing my experience with it. All you do is mix enough vinegar and baking soda to fill the bag with 25% CO2 concentration, about 1 tbsp baking soda to 1 cup vinegar per gallon of CO2.

Thank your that's very helpful

 

[exhausteduntreatable]

Apparently 250ml is fatal for an adult male. Antidepressants also allegedly heighten the lethality.

Some cases.

Putatively lethal ingestion of isopropyl alcohol-related case: interpretation of post mortem isopropyl alcohol and acetone concentrations remains challenging - International Journal of Legal Medicine

Isopropyl alcohol, or propan-2-ol (IPA), is found in numerous chemicals including alcohol-based hand rubs whose use has been recently widely extended to the general population since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. This widespread of IPA use could potentially, but not necessarily, be...

link.springer.com

Inmate with suicide history poisons self and dies

archive.jsonline.com

Also read about a 19 year old female who became comatose while drinking it outdoors in the month of October and dying of the combination of poisoning and hypothermia.

 

[ExLife]

I can give the shrooms a go. A relative has access. I'm just not particularly optimistic. I think my brain is absolutely wrecked. I don't have much faith in my method though either. Ending up in the psych ward here... the worst. So I'm hand wringing.

I encourage you to give it a go. The upbeat effects have been surprising on me, when I was at my lowest. Unfortunately after months, the help faded away gradually. Guess I developped some kind of tolerance. But I don't regret the weeks of relief in between.

 

[exhausteduntreatable]

I encourage you to give it a go. The upbeat effects have been surprising on me, when I was at my lowest. Unfortunately after months, the help faded away gradually. Guess I developped some kind of tolerance. But I don't regret the weeks of relief in between.

Thanks for the input. Even if I can get some relief for a little while if I have to wait this out for a while longer. Take the edge off so to speak.

 

[lifecouldbedream]

I encourage you to give it a go. The upbeat effects have been surprising on me, when I was at my lowest. Unfortunately after months, the help faded away gradually. Guess I developped some kind of tolerance. But I don't regret the weeks of relief in between.

Unfortunately tolerance is a big issue with mushrooms, as your tolerance triples everytime you dose. It's recommended to take 2 week breaks between trips, as fortunately this is all it takes to get it back to zero. and when microdosing do 4 days on and 3 days off, with occasional full week breaks when your tolerance starts to get high.

 

[exhausteduntreatable]

Unfortunately tolerance is a big issue with mushrooms, as your tolerance triples everytime you dose. It's recommended to take 2 week breaks between trips, as fortunately this is all it takes to get it back to zero. and when microdosing do 4 days on and 3 days off, with occasional full week breaks when your tolerance starts to get high.

Thanks for all the info guys. I generally have a high tolerance to substances. Thanks to being on a cocktail of max doses of psych meds since I was a peds patient. Tips are appreciated.