Can’t take it anymore

[losthope1980]

I've been trying to see the light at the end of this tunnel , but seems there is no hope left for me. I've done bad things in the past im
Not a good person and I really fucked everything this time. One day is the same . I can't stop thinking about the past or of terrible futures. The only thing stopping me is me dad , he is the only one left on my family . My mom and grandma passed away last year . I fucked up my relationship and my kids don't ever want to see me again . So I was left alone . I came back to my dad's a couple of weeks ago to my old room . I'm 45 and really can't see anything getting better . I can't go on. I see no point anymore. It just seems to get worse it's a down spiral. I have SN Meto, an benzos about a month ago but thought things would get better but o don't I can go living on like this for much longer.

 

[angrybakunawa]

I hear you. I'm pretty much the same except I don't have the resources you have.

Good luck on whatever you decide to do!

 

[urgent]

I've been trying to see the light at the end of this tunnel , but seems there is no hope left for me. I've done bad things in the past im
Not a good person and I really fucked everything this time. One day is the same . I can't stop thinking about the past or of terrible futures. The only thing stopping me is me dad , he is the only one left on my family . My mom and grandma passed away last year . I fucked up my relationship and my kids don't ever want to see me again . So I was left alone . I came back to my dad's a couple of weeks ago to my old room . I'm 45 and really can't see anything getting better . I can't go on. I see no point anymore. It just seems to get worse it's a down spiral. I have SN Meto, an benzos about a month ago but thought things would get better but o don't I can go living on like this for much longer.

I'm sorry. I desperately want out now.I can't take the physical pain anymore either. I'm suffering tremendously. I don't have SN and benzos. I wish I had something. Helium Nembutal, the meds they give for MAiD would be my choice but I have no one that could get them. I hope things get better for you. If I had it I'd finally be pain free after so many years. If you haven't done it maybe you could try to find something or someone who helps you feel better a little at a time. Whatever you did make amends and try to go forward. I hope you find some comfort.