Hi everyone.
I'm getting desperate to CTB and it looks like exsanguination is my only option. My plan so far is to insert a cannula into a vein, and each day draw out 500mls or so of blood until I become severely anemic. Then, I'll find a peaceful spot(if I'm not too weak to leave my house by then), take some aspirins to thin my blood and draw out as much blood as I possibly can.
If my hemoglobin levels are low enough already I should die - in general 2.5-3 litres of blood for a woman of my size should be fatal, but that level will be much lower if I'm regularly drawing out my blood. I'll also see if I can sneak some quetiapine from the safe to make it more peaceful (I'm eighteen, still live with my parents).
I know it's a horrible way to go but it's really my only option. Every local pharmacy has been told not to sell anything to me, all my packages are opened by my parents, I don't want to jump in front of a train/car for risk of traumatising the driver, I don't think I could bring myself to jump off a roof. I have a few cannulas in my room for piercing - my parents aren't suspicious at all because I pierced my ears with the same thing myself a few months ago before they got so worried about me.
So my question is, why am I finding it so hard to get these cannulas into my vein?? I've watched tons of videos and tips, but I can't get the first flashback of blood. I tied a tourniquet using a long sleeved top I had, I palpated the vein, inserted it bevel side up at a 30degree ish angle, stayed well hydrated beforehand - why isn't it working? I've tried multiple times on my inner elbow and on my hand. I think the problem is likely that I can't get the needle in far enough because it hurts and I'm having trouble getting over my natural instinct to pull it straight out.
Can any nurses on here tell me what length of the needle is inside the skin before the first flashback of blood appears? And does anyone have any other tips on helping me get it into my vein?
I'm getting desperate to CTB and it looks like exsanguination is my only option. My plan so far is to insert a cannula into a vein, and each day draw out 500mls or so of blood until I become severely anemic. Then, I'll find a peaceful spot(if I'm not too weak to leave my house by then), take some aspirins to thin my blood and draw out as much blood as I possibly can.
If my hemoglobin levels are low enough already I should die - in general 2.5-3 litres of blood for a woman of my size should be fatal, but that level will be much lower if I'm regularly drawing out my blood. I'll also see if I can sneak some quetiapine from the safe to make it more peaceful (I'm eighteen, still live with my parents).
I know it's a horrible way to go but it's really my only option. Every local pharmacy has been told not to sell anything to me, all my packages are opened by my parents, I don't want to jump in front of a train/car for risk of traumatising the driver, I don't think I could bring myself to jump off a roof. I have a few cannulas in my room for piercing - my parents aren't suspicious at all because I pierced my ears with the same thing myself a few months ago before they got so worried about me.
So my question is, why am I finding it so hard to get these cannulas into my vein?? I've watched tons of videos and tips, but I can't get the first flashback of blood. I tied a tourniquet using a long sleeved top I had, I palpated the vein, inserted it bevel side up at a 30degree ish angle, stayed well hydrated beforehand - why isn't it working? I've tried multiple times on my inner elbow and on my hand. I think the problem is likely that I can't get the needle in far enough because it hurts and I'm having trouble getting over my natural instinct to pull it straight out.
Can any nurses on here tell me what length of the needle is inside the skin before the first flashback of blood appears? And does anyone have any other tips on helping me get it into my vein?
