UselessMF
Member
- Dec 4, 2020
- 80
Hello SS community, I've been reading on the site for 4-5 months now and all of you here seem so kind, nice and respectful towards everybody, that made me join since I have no real friend to talk to.
Heres my situation, I tried to ctb when I was 14 and since than everyday of my life have been a fight with the demons in my head telling me to end my life. I'm 32 now, 2 young children of 2 and 4 years old and pretty much everything I always wanted but I still can't find happiness, even if I'm considering myself lucky for all I got and no health issue or whatever.
I'm having this weird feelings of being born in the wrong era, in the wrong place, in the wrong mind and body. I just dont know who am I really and I can't fight these demons and those sleepless nights thinking about all f****ing details that f***ed up anymore. Now I just want to end all that, so my children can grow up without my negative aura in their way. My objective is to ctb in the next 4-5 months to give me time to organize all the financial and legal stuff before I go.
I wish I can find some peace and friendship here before I go.
Thanks
Heres my situation, I tried to ctb when I was 14 and since than everyday of my life have been a fight with the demons in my head telling me to end my life. I'm 32 now, 2 young children of 2 and 4 years old and pretty much everything I always wanted but I still can't find happiness, even if I'm considering myself lucky for all I got and no health issue or whatever.
I'm having this weird feelings of being born in the wrong era, in the wrong place, in the wrong mind and body. I just dont know who am I really and I can't fight these demons and those sleepless nights thinking about all f****ing details that f***ed up anymore. Now I just want to end all that, so my children can grow up without my negative aura in their way. My objective is to ctb in the next 4-5 months to give me time to organize all the financial and legal stuff before I go.
I wish I can find some peace and friendship here before I go.
Thanks