Discussion Can't feel happy

[Khyber]

Anyone find that happy and positive things actually make them really sad? I'm not even talking about my own experiences, but things I see, read and watch on tv. I hate feel good movies, songs and news as they make me even more depressed. I hate hearing about people doing well unless they're a real underdog in life or if it's someone I really love. Even my own positive experiences can make me feel like shit although, not all the time. It's like I don't know how to be happy or express feelings of happiness, particularly in front of others. However, I do know how to be sad.

I also struggle with change even if it is for the better. Thinking about the past makes me sad about how things have changed. Thinking about the present makes me sad about how things are. Thinking about the future makes me sad about how things are going to be. It's like I crave the past but really I still felt as shit back then.

Even my dreams make me sad. My dreams can be pretty weird and totally unconnected but they still induce the same emotions of sadness and emptiness when I wake up. It's like my default feeling is sadness and thoughts of suicide are comforting.

I haven't been able to articulate this as well as I'd like, but I just don't really know how to explain it fully. I've kind of went off on a tangent as my main point is about how things like happy films etc, that should produce feel good emotions, actually make me feel the opposite.

 

[KibblesNBits]

Anyone find that happy and positive things actually make them really sad? I'm not even talking about my own experiences, but things I see, read and watch on tv. I hate feel good movies, songs and news as they make me even more depressed. I hate hearing about people doing well unless they're a real underdog in life or if it's someone I really love. Even my own positive experiences can make me feel like shit although, not all the time. It's like I don't know how to be happy or express feelings of happiness, particularly in front of others. However, I do know how to be sad.

I also struggle with change even if it is for the better. Thinking about the past makes me sad about how things have changed. Thinking about the present makes me sad about how things are. Thinking about the future makes me sad about how things are going to be. It's like I crave the past but really I still felt as shit back then.

Even my dreams make me sad. My dreams can be pretty weird and totally unconnected but they still induce the same emotions of sadness and emptiness when I wake up. It's like my default feeling is sadness and thoughts of suicide are comforting.

I haven't been able to articulate this as well as I'd like, but I just don't really know how to explain it fully. I've kind of went off on a tangent as my main point is about how things like happy films etc, that should produce feel good emotions, actually make me feel the opposite.

I do feel the same. And depressing stuff is triggering in its own right so I can't escape.

 

[MeriDeath]

You express yourself very well may I say. Especially in that part where you say sadness is your default feeling. Same here. It's an existential crisis. Nothing makes you happy since you've lacked that feeling most of your life, and now upon wanting to die you just can't experience those feelings because well, you don't want to feel better or have thoughts about backing out or simply think for a minute life is good. Understandable. You just want good for the people you like and that's it, you're limited. And life has more to it but unfortunately we are not in the place right now to feel anything.

 

[Baguette]

I relate to this a lot. More recently it's been seeing happy couples when I'm out and about, people having fun with their friends. I seen a couple just yesterday in their early 20s holding hands and smiling at each other and I all could think about was how I'll never have that.

 

[Bct]

I relate to this a lot. More recently it's been seeing happy couples when I'm out and about, people having fun with their friends. I seen a couple just yesterday in their early 20s holding hands and smiling at each other and I all could think about was how I'll never have that.

Yes, it's really sucks to see what most people could achieve effortlessly when we must struggle for years yet still far away to get what we want.