Can't ever express much emotion

[_Maya]

I have a lot of trouble expressing much emotion, if you've ever been in a call with me you'd obviously know i'm a very eccentric person, always making jokes and laughing. But outside of that i don't think i'm a very emotional person.
I rarely cry, last time i did was when my pet bunnies escaped. But even then, it was more of just a quiet whimper with tears, like i was some dog who hurt their leg.
Yesterday i had a long message to my friend about how much i love them and treasure them, but it took so much energy from me to type that out. I feel like i can never express myself, like even if i just i said something simple like "i love you" to a friend, no matter the context, i feel like i'd be made fun of. Like i'm making some horrible mistake expressing love to people i care about.
I wish i could more easily show emotions like a normal person, i wish i could tell people if i was happy or sad, but I'm always forced to act happy to the point i can never be sad in front of people. No matter how much i want to.

 

[fedup1982]

It sounds like in your past maybe you were hurt in some way which sort of trained you to not want to express vulnerability?

Don't feel bad, it's not a bad thing. Just different. It still sounds like you have a perfectly healthy range of emotions, you just mostly have trouble expressing them. It can get better with age, it has with me at least. You're clearly capable of loving and things like that, I hope you learn to realise it's ok to be like this, and it's also ok to have these emotions and express them when you feel ready!