Venting Can't even buy comfort ffs

[Rounded Apathy]

As disgusting as it is that such a thing even exists, I recently found and browsed a website where people offer "cuddle sevices"; that's right, exchanging money for platonic physical interaction. What a disgusting world we live in where this is a thing that even needs to exist, and how disgusting my own life that I've been driven to the point of considering it as an actual option. Ugh. Anyway.

Besides there being many other gross things about the site (some users definitely using it as a front for other services, some strictly not offering physical contact and basically doing some rent-a-date bs), The going rate is 80 god damn dollars an hour. Yes I recognize the inherent danger potential in doing something like this but seriously. You are not "doing" anything and you have zero expertise. Fuck.

There are also people who don't charge and just seem to have profiles (a separate type from "professionals", hah), which is the type I made and messaged a few folks. No one answered. In my area, there was only a single person offering paid cuddling for less than 80 bucks, and after one reply, to which I asked about scheduling and preferred location, I have not gotten a response for over a week now.

I can't even fucking pay someone for human contact. I tried this avenue as I had previously wondered about the possibility of going to a dirty massage parlour and asking if we could just spoon, but I don't know about how that would play out in real life and when the thought returned lately stumbled upon this option. But it didn't even fucking work. The few parlours sort of in my area would even be cheaper than eighty fucking bucks.

Fuck everything.

 

[Zegers]

Increasingly isolated people + loneliness = depression = business

world is a big business and does not take people into primary consideration.

question is: who is more alone, the one who offers hugs or the one who asks for it? who knows.

 

[veryhappyhuman]

There is a site for Canada thats even more pathetic, called rent-a-friend or something like that. The guy or girl would just hang out with you to talk, maybe watch a movie etc (you pay). They charge by the hour. Strictly no romantic stuff, no touching. I had the same experience of getting ghosted on that site as you did on yours lol.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It is really sad, I agree. We have become so isolated- covid has just made matters worse. Don't think I've hugged anyone for getting on 3 years. Sending you a virtual hug...

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

This world is disgustingly individualized. There is pretty much no help out there for lonely people, any advice centers around putting the onus on you to "just join a group bro" when there are very few ways to meet new people as an adult.

Even in the comments on this video, so many strangers are asserting that these poor souls need therapy instead of the rent a family service, as if some individualised psycho babble bullshit is going to change the fact that they don't have any family! I doubt those individuals have ever been so lonely that they felt compelled to use one of these paid services, yet it is the people who have everything who get to look down on those who have nothing.

 

[Rounded Apathy]

Increasingly isolated people + loneliness = depression = business

world is a big business and does not take people into primary consideration.

question is: who is more alone, the one who offers hugs or the one who asks for it? who knows.

I'd say it does take people into primary consideration...just how to get money from them in any way possible! How can we manipulate people to get their dough? Corporations like Johnson & Johnson literally have these panels where they do shit like bring in a bunch of old ladies to study their collective insecurities so they can market their products to deliberately prey upon them. Fucking sickening. If those on the other side are wanting for humanity, they are not aware.

There is a site for Canada thats even more pathetic, called rent-a-friend or something like that. The guy or girl would just hang out with you to talk, maybe watch a movie etc (you pay). They charge by the hour. Strictly no romantic stuff, no touching. I had the same experience of getting ghosted on that site as you did on yours lol.

Yikes, ugh. Never heard of that one but reminds me a lot of the video that got posted after this...

It is really sad, I agree. We have become so isolated- covid has just made matters worse. Don't think I've hugged anyone for getting on 3 years. Sending you a virtual hug...

Oh no. I would have lost it. I remember at the very start of the 'rona when I went like two months without one (or any physical contact) and I thought I was gonna die. Thank you and I am sending one back your way!

This world is disgustingly individualized. There is pretty much no help out there for lonely people, any advice centers around putting the onus on you to "just join a group bro" when there are very few ways to meet new people as an adult.

Even in the comments on this video, so many strangers are asserting that these poor souls need therapy instead of the rent a family service, as if some individualised psycho babble bullshit is going to change the fact that they don't have any family! I doubt those individuals have ever been so lonely that they felt compelled to use one of these paid services, yet it is the people who have everything who get to look down on those who have nothing.

I know what you mean. Meetups and such are fine to "do stuff" but it just feels like an eternal slog because for one, how many of these people am I compatible enough with to actually become real friends with? And then, how long is it going to take, given at first you're likely to just see one another in that capacity, and it depends on you both being able to continue going for a while, then maybe someone asks to hang out beyond the group?

Aw man, Asian Boss, another early pandemic memory. I honestly love their work but some of it is just so fucking depressing. I used to live in Japan so their content from there really hits home. The part when he says, without faltering, how he isn't happy whatsoever...eugh. I did see a few comments that were les ignorant at least.

 

[whatevs]

This world is disgustingly individualized. There is pretty much no help out there for lonely people, any advice centers around putting the onus on you to "just join a group bro" when there are very few ways to meet new people as an adult.

Even in the comments on this video, so many strangers are asserting that these poor souls need therapy instead of the rent a family service, as if some individualised psycho babble bullshit is going to change the fact that they don't have any family! I doubt those individuals have ever been so lonely that they felt compelled to use one of these paid services, yet it is the people who have everything who get to look down on those who have nothing.

Japan is truly spiraling into an unimaginable nightmare and our nations will soon follow. I think Baudrillard would get a hard on with all the data about simulations and fakery being tied to modernity that we have now.

 

[Final-push123]

As disgusting as it is that such a thing even exists, I recently found and browsed a website where people offer "cuddle sevices"; that's right, exchanging money for platonic physical interaction. What a disgusting world we live in where this is a thing that even needs to exist, and how disgusting my own life that I've been driven to the point of considering it as an actual option. Ugh. Anyway.

Besides there being many other gross things about the site (some users definitely using it as a front for other services, some strictly not offering physical contact and basically doing some rent-a-date bs), The going rate is 80 god damn dollars an hour. Yes I recognize the inherent danger potential in doing something like this but seriously. You are not "doing" anything and you have zero expertise. Fuck.

There are also people who don't charge and just seem to have profiles (a separate type from "professionals", hah), which is the type I made and messaged a few folks. No one answered. In my area, there was only a single person offering paid cuddling for less than 80 bucks, and after one reply, to which I asked about scheduling and preferred location, I have not gotten a response for over a week now.

I can't even fucking pay someone for human contact. I tried this avenue as I had previously wondered about the possibility of going to a dirty massage parlour and asking if we could just spoon, but I don't know about how that would play out in real life and when the thought returned lately stumbled upon this option. But it didn't even fucking work. The few parlours sort of in my area would even be cheaper than eighty fucking bucks.

Fuck everything.

Sadly this will be more and more common, there must be a way to cope without human contact and affection. I was looking into this, maybe use some sort of philosophy like stoticism or Buddhism to better cope.

Unfortunately I still looking

 

[Hangnail]

If I even buy ubereats to comfort myself, I get scolded.

 

[summers]

Well, women seem to have a monopoly on being able to charge for attention or any type of physical contact. This is in no way a complaint or putdown of women, just the nature of the world. If you'd be cool cuddling with a guy, you could find that for free on grindr. There are people who just want to be close, no sex involved.

 

[Final-push123]

Well, women seem to have a monopoly on being able to charge for attention or any type of physical contact. This is in no way a complaint or putdown of women, just the nature of the world. If you'd be cool cuddling with a guy, you could find that for free on grindr. There are people who just want to be close, no sex involved.

Ding ding ding you got it. The natural state of man is isolation and solitude. Women have there own problems of course(too many men that don't meet their standards giving her attention) but it pretty much like this this.

Women are drowning in attention while men are dying from attention dehydration.

One of the keys to coping is to make peace in our natural states. For example I simply accept that I am not wanted or value to anyone unless I have some sort of use to them. In other words I am Human doing(like most men are), looking for affection(physical or emotional) from anyone as a man is recipe for depression and agony. It best to simply forgot about people in that way in to live life detached from others.

 

[summers]

One of the keys to coping is to make peace in our natural states. For example I simply accept that I am not wanted or value to anyone unless I have some sort of use to them. In other words I am Human doing(like most men are), looking for affection(physical or emotional) from anyone as a man is recipe for depression and agony. It best to simply forgot about people in that way in to live life detached from others.

Or...
1. Like you pointed out, look at all relationships as transactional (because they all are, even parent-child). Figure out what you have to offer, and work with that.
2. Change what you're looking for. Maybe the type of woman you're attracted to is just out of reach to all but a small percentage of men. Not all of us are Leonardo DiCaprio, who can always have an early 20s model on his arm...

Doesn't make too much sense to just give up and be lonely and miserable, without even trying.

 

[Final-push123]

Or...
1. Like you pointed out, look at all relationships as transactional (because they all are, even parent-child). Figure out what you have to offer, and work with that.
2. Change what you're looking for. Maybe the type of woman you're attracted to is just out of reach to all but a small percentage of men. Not all of us are Leonardo DiCaprio, who can always have an early 20s model on his arm...

Doesn't make too much sense to just give up and be lonely and miserable, without even trying.

LoL you looking at this all wrong, when it comes to women it does not matter what she looks like(she can be uggo to model and everything in-between), women romantically only want the best of the best, the tallest, the fittest men.

If a man falls short of that standard then he will be rejected even if he try to get a average everyday looking women(or someone who looks similar to him).

You should only "try" when there a chance of success. Trying when you have no chance is masochistic unless you are into that sort of thing.

As far as improving, you cannot improve your height, you cannot improve you bone structure.these things are genetic. It like trying to get into the NBA as a sub 6 foot guy. Sure it possible but it's so improbable that you mind as well not even try and do something else with your life. After all, people can live happy lives without being in the nba

The average man is longer wanted it best to spread the word now so that they will have a easier time coping with this fact

 

[Rounded Apathy]

Good to see contribution but I'd rather this thread not devolve into conjecture about the social desirability of men and women as objects of intimacy en masse. Please don't assume your concepts and life experiences are applicable to everyone else. In my starting post I wasn't inviting this kind of dialogue, simply bemoaning a failed transactional attempt at acquiring a basic human need.
@Final-push123 I liked your first comment and am knowledgeable about these traditions but as you say they don't always cut it. It's like telling a tree sapling in a drought to make due without rain, I think. @summers I have also considered men for this but they can be so predatory I find it more intimidating. I'm also socialized against it despite my awareness, and this compounded with my hatred for having to seek such a thing out out transactionally is doubly off-putting. Maybe it'd be good to get over myself.

 

[Final-push123]

Fair enough, forgive me I did mean to derail the thread it just that I been studying this issue for a while now I get very passionate about it.

Either way I hope you find success with getting human contact(paid or unpaid)

 

[summers]

Good to see contribution but I'd rather this thread not devolve into conjecture about the social desirability of men and women as objects of intimacy en masse. Please don't assume your concepts and life experiences are applicable to everyone else. In my starting post I wasn't inviting this kind of dialogue, simply bemoaning a failed transactional attempt at acquiring a basic human need.

I'm sorry about that. You're right, this conversation went too far along a tangent to be of consequence to the original post. I will say it's kind of ridiculous to offer a service at $80/hr and not excel in customer service. I know a few people who escort, and whilst the prices are usually double to triple what you're paying, they are very quick to respond and punctual for meetings. (Note, these are friends - I'm not a customer).

I've never made more than $60/hr. When I did make that much, I did the best job I possibly could to keep the money rolling in.

@summers I have also considered men for this but they can be so predatory I find it more intimidating. I'm also socialized against it despite my awareness

Please don't think I was trying to push a lifestyle that doesn't appeal to you. I was just sharing my experiences.

 

[Rounded Apathy]

I'm sorry about that. You're right, this conversation went too far along a tangent to be of consequence to the original post. I will say it's kind of ridiculous to offer a service at $80/hr and not excel in customer service. I know a few people who escort, and whilst the prices are usually double to triple what you're paying, they are very quick to respond and punctual for meetings. (Note, these are friends - I'm not a customer).

I've never made more than $60/hr. When I did make that much, I did the best job I possibly could to keep the money rolling in.

Please don't think I was trying to push a lifestyle that doesn't appeal to you. I was just sharing my experiences.

It's obvious these people aren't "professionals" at all - it's just a silly distinction the site uses to show who charges money for this basic human need! And no, you weren't pushing - in my city there are a couple of people doing this outside this site I've looked into, and one option is a couple who do so jointly. I know a couple who I sometimes did this with and it never felt weird; it mainly feels weird to think of doing this with someone I don't know at all. Like, if I could become friends with these people selling the "service" first I'd be less begrudging to pay them for it.