Help Can't CTB because of suicidal friend

[sourcreamonion]

My friend isn't as deep into the mindset of wanting to CTB, however, I feel like my death would push her to that edge. She has a lot going for her already, a really bright future. I can't handle the thought of me causing someone else to die, even more so that I know her family and how much they want her to succeed.

What do I do? Do I stage it as a murder? How would I even do that?

 

[TakeYourHappyPills]

My friend isn't as deep into the mindset of wanting to CTB, however, I feel like my death would push her to that edge. She has a lot going for her already, a really bright future. I can't handle the thought of me causing someone else to die, even more so that I know her family and how much they want her to succeed.

I am in a similar situation right now as well. I am currently distancing myself from them so then my suicide won't be as painful. I'm going to explain to them in my note that it's not their fault, they couldn't have done anything, and that I want them to keep living. There's probably another method that could help you out more though. Anyways good luck and I hope you find the answer you're looking for (:

 

[sourcreamonion]

I am in a similar situation right now as well. I am currently distancing myself from them so then my suicide won't be as painful. I'm going to explain to them in my note that it's not their fault, they couldn't have done anything, and that I want them to keep living. There's probably another method that could help you out more though. Anyways good luck and I hope you find the answer you're looking for (:

I've been planning to slowly distance myself as well, and the whole lockdown-quarantine is helping that plan. However, my friend is quite weak and I'm afraid that even putting space between us will induce a lot of pain on her side. I'll probably follow and explain in my note that it wasn't their fault, and I hope everything goes well for you and your friend. Good luck to you! :) Thank you.

 

[ebt88]

Mm u say she is suicidal buy not that much? What does it mean?

Talk to her, tell her you want to ctb before you do it, maybe she wants to do it as well, maybe not. Anyway I think is better if you talk before otherwise she'd feel worse after the fact I think

 

[sourcreamonion]

Mm u say she is suicidal buy not that much? What does it mean?

Talk to her, tell her you want to ctb before you do it, maybe she wants to do it as well, maybe not. Anyway I think is better if you talk before otherwise she'd feel worse after the fact I think

I didn't know how to word my title right, but she's mentally weak enough to where if I died, she would kill herself as well. I'll try to bring up the subject without outright saying I am going to CTB because I know she'll try to talk me out of it, and possibly call someone before I can. She would only CTB if I already did, so that's why I fear talking too much about it with her.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I'm not trying to encourage you to ctb, but to bring some more perspective, because this seems somewhat co-dependent to me, that is, taking on the responsibility for others' problems you did not cause, cannot cure, and cannot control.

These are some of the ways I look at what you wrote in the OP:

You are not responsible for her life, failures, successes, etc. You can't control her or anything about her life. Isn't it enough pressure trying to manage your own life and choices? I get that we have responsibility to others with whom we're in reciprocal, mutually supportive relationships, but I think it's codependency and magical thinking to take responsibility for other autonomous adults. Would you want her to be doing all this worrying about you if she wanted to make the choice to end her life and if she had the same reasons for doing it that you do? If yes, then maybe you're not yet making the right choice for yourself. If no, then is this a reasonable burden that you're putting on yourself? And as far as her family's hopes for her go, the only thing that matters is what she hopes for herself, but I gently say that you and her family all seem to be making decisions based on what they want for her or the hopes they have for her; have you or any of them asked her what she wants for herself? You take on such a huge burden for her; can she take on the burden of responsibility for your life, your decisions, and your happiness? If you told her what you were considering and asked her, would she take on those responsibilities, and could she follow through?