Venting Can't cry

[_Maya]

Ever since i've become depressed, i have felt like i am just incapable of crying. I have so much pent up anger and sadness, and even right now i desperately want to cry so bad. But despite this, i just feel like i physically can't cry.
Why can't i cry? has anyone else experienced this phenomenon or has it just been me?

 

[_D_]

It's okay to not cry, it's okay if your external self doesn't match your internal self, and it doesn't mean your suffering isn't valid. I think that you just get so used to feeling this way, so used to feeling depressed and suicidal etc. that your body doesn't see these feelings as needing the stress response of crying. I think you get numb to it.
I know you want to cry and it really does help. It really sucks but one of the only ways I've cried is in the presence of other people. For whatever reason sharing your pain with someone one-on-one, if you're lucky enough to be able to do that, really helps you cry especially when you say out loud what you're feeling.

 

[callousedhope]

i went about 2 years not crying, and it was very heavy on me. i think ultimately, i was alone a lot or otherwise around coworkers, so i didnt feel comfortable around them -- i was also vaping and laying in bed like all the time, which i think also didn't help (due to the nature of just being sedentary). i remember the time i finally cried it was hugely revelatory lol. if you desire tears as a physical release, try doing other physical things to compensate? i'll draw on myself with sharpie a lot to circumvent the need to cut. working out is although cliche, also really good for regulating body processes.

i really hope you can get to a place where you want to be!

 

[femcelloser]

This is literally how I am 24/7. My brain is a constant blowhorn of fucked up thoughts and emotions and messes and I can almost cry sometimes when I'm feeling really bad. My face just gets really hot and I start yelling at myself. A good cry would fix so much I think. It is so goddamn frustrating

 

[_Maya]

This is literally how I am 24/7. My brain is a constant blowhorn of fucked up thoughts and emotions and messes and I can almost cry sometimes when I'm feeling really bad. My face just gets really hot and I start yelling at myself. A good cry would fix so much I think. It is so goddamn frustrating

Literally, i can feel as if im about to cry, but i don't.

 

[femcelloser]

Literally, i can feel as if im about to cry, but i don't.

Do u also like disassociate rlly hard? Sometimes when I'm like getting REALLY bad I lose focus in my vision and I'm just like unable to move. Instead of crying I just shut down functionally and the world turns off for a bit

 

[_Maya]

Do u also like disassociate rlly hard? Sometimes when I'm like getting REALLY bad I lose focus in my vision and I'm just like unable to move. Instead of crying I just shut down functionally and the world turns off for a bit

Not sure if i would call it dissociation specifically, but yeah a lot of the time I'd stare off into space and when i come back, its 5 minutes later.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I totally get it. I've experienced it all in the last few years. Now keep in mind if you are on medication they say that can dull your emotions and that could be part of it.

But way before I was ever on medication, I realized I could not cry for about a year. And I wanted to so bad. Hugely frustrating. Then I started medication. Funny enough, I started to be able to cry and cried hysterically all summer. Ever since I was hospitalized, I have started stopped and switched medication slightly. But I have not cried at all in over a year.

I feel like I am currently having the worst PMS I have had in about five years. So maybe that explains why last week I cried for the first time. And it was actually because of this site. I can't seem to cry again, though even with the all that's going on in my life. It's all so bizarre.

 

[3FailedAttemptss]

I was like this before starting hormones and even a little while there after. I thought crying was what I needed but it doesn't help - nothing helps. Now I cry all the time, I cry even just when I walk my dog but there's no catharsis, no feeling better afterwards.

The only "positive" thing I've experienced when crying is it allows me to be more impulsive with my attempts - not that it's really gotten me anywhere other than a psych ward.

 

[lambagoan]

I know this feeling. It's horrible. I try to release it by doing something like exercising but I don't always feel like doing that. Sometimes I end up hitting myself to avoid the urge of cutting or scalding myself.