I get anxious, too. I've realized this year that I'm a very paranoid, anxious, and suspicious person. I've realized that I kind of get these traits from my parents, especially my mom.
I try to hang out with people and talk to them, but I feel so disconnected from everyone. I get no enjoyment out of being with friends. I may joke around and laugh, but I don't feel anything. I feel like an alien and being around people makes it worse.
I'm such a miserable person. I don't know why people tell me I'm "kind, smart, compassionate, resilient". It feels like such a lie.
I'm sorry for just rambling. :/