CAN'T BE HONEST WITH THERAPIST

[Unattainable666]

Well after many months and one asshole therapist leaving me without telling me, I found someone else to talk to (not been on meds or seen a therapist in years - too many issues). She asked me some questions, which seemed pertinent. After answering the questions she told me I needed to be inpatient. FUCK that shit!!! If I go inpatient, I lose my job, my house, everything I've worked so hard for. So I started backtracking real quick - told her I would never ctb, just sad at times, function well. Just a bunch of crap. It makes me mad and confuses me because I thought I could be honest with her without feeling threatened.

 

[tuey32]

Yup this is why I don't believe in therapy

 

[LaVieEnRose]

 

[UKscotty]

They just want money. At the first sign of real work, they'll have you sectioned.

 

[Zulu]

Well after many months and one asshole therapist leaving me without telling me, I found someone else to talk to (not been on meds or seen a therapist in years - too many issues). She asked me some questions, which seemed pertinent. After answering the questions she told me I needed to be inpatient. FUCK that shit!!! If I go inpatient, I lose my job, my house, everything I've worked so hard for. So I started backtracking real quick - told her I would never ctb, just sad at times, function well. Just a bunch of crap. It makes me mad and confuses me because I thought I could be honest with her without feeling threatened.

I relate really hard to you. Tried therapy a few times with mixed results, but have never been able to really talk about the darker issues plaguing my mental health without threat of involuntary commitment. Hell, I once had a close call when I was asked if I was suicidal, and I said I preferred not to answer, which basically translated as yes. Had to lie and clarify that as a no, so now whenever I'm asked that, it's always a solid NO without hesitation.

Being involuntarily committed is bloody expensive in the U.S., and you can be trapped for an indeterminate amount of time. Nevermind the other stories some folks experience with being committed, you can't always immediately get out, which threatens your own job security if you can't show up for work. Loss of income means loss of insurance which means inability to pay the growing medical bill for every day you're locked up. Then your ability to survive comes into real jeopardy with all of your other financial obligations, which only further exacerbates the ideation and makes things worse. The loss of autonomy is terrifying.

Personally, it'd put me over the edge to end it immediately if that happened to me. I can't miss work for that kind of thing, and I can't lose my job or I'm truly fucked. On top of that, involuntary commitment results in permanent loss of the most effective ctb method (firearm), which would further trap me in this accursed world while making this life so much worse than it currently is. For those reasons alone, I'm very reluctant to really engage in therapy. Just...no. Even if I need it, I'm not willing to give up my preferred ctb method for it.

 

[Linda]

Can you afford to pay privately for a therapist (i.e. no insurance involved)? If you can, make it clear, in advance, that you do not wish to be committed involuntarily, and get a statement from them, in writing, that they will not do that to you whatever you say while in therapy (You might have to phrase it that you "will not be committed for your own protection" - just to reassure any therapist that the issue here is not that you might be a danger to other people.) If a therapist gives such an assurance, as a condition of your paying them to be a patient, that is a legally binding commitment. If they do then commit you, they can be sued, and sued big.

 

[AllFoxedOut]

Can you afford to pay privately for a therapist (i.e. no insurance involved)? If you can, make it clear, in advance, that you do not wish to be committed involuntarily, and get a statement from them, in writing, that they will not do that to you whatever you say while in therapy (You might have to phrase it that you "will not be committed for your own protection" - just to reassure any therapist that the issue here is not that you might be a danger to other people.) If a therapist gives such an assurance, as a condition of your paying them to be a patient, that is a legally binding commitment. If they do then commit you, they can be sued, and sued big.

such an agreement (if a therapist would even do so) would not be legally binding as therapists have a legal and ethical obligation to protect people from CTBing.

at least in society as it is structured now that is

 

[Forever Sleep]

So much of it seems to be about liability. I almost wish patients could sign a waiver with their therapists- it's not up to you to prevent me from killing myself. Of course though- that sends out a signal we might actually have autonomy and I guess that's out the window when you 'admit' to being so 'crazy' as to having suicidal thoughts.

It's bizare though. Again- you don't get it with regular doctors. Like- well- it looks like terminal cancer but I'm sorry- I don't treat patients who might die.

 

[90starve]

it truly angers me that they have the authority to just throw somebody's life away like this. it won't do you any good to lose your job and your home, JUST for reporting suicidal thoughts - i just can't understand how they don't see that.

 

[AllFoxedOut]

generally I've been okay saying that I was feeling suicidal but wouldn't actually do it. for some therapists that might be enough for them to commit, but just today i told my psychiatrist I wanted to CTB and I'm home now. they mainly care about a plan, access, etc.

 

[RumbleMan]

I think therapy only works for the smallest of groups. Most of the time it's just a waste of time and money in my opinion. I hate to hear that you can't be honest with someone who is there to be honest to and to just let it all out.

 

[deomlez]

I talk about death and ctb with my therapist. I know she can warn s.o. about it if she feels there is a high risk on me. She knows i have a condition to ctb (my mother still alive) and i think i will put an end to the sessions when i am ready to ctb.
It is strange because she can hear that but law is higher than my feelings and she admits i m right about the right to dispose of my own body.
Anyway i try to be light when talking about this to avoid any commitment but it s s.t. I think at any minute... it rules my life...
I add : f*** this world over populated and being sooo concerned with my poor life, knowing i will die at least. I just cannot understand the fundamental reason to deny our own right on our body and life. Why am I so important to this world ? What do I provide to it ?
F***

 

[Linda]

such an agreement (if a therapist would even do so) would not be legally binding as therapists have a legal and ethical obligation to protect people from CTBing.

at least in society as it is structured now that is

That would depnd on which jurisdiction you are in, and I don't know that.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I personally would never ever talk to a therapist regarding actual CTB thoughts and active plans. Sucide is a legal right that should be granted to everyone should they want to exit this world. But in our anti-suicide society it's such a difficult task to just leave this world in a peaceful and dignified way. Any kinds of "prolifers" knowing about ones real thoughts and desires will cause only more pain and suffering unfortunately. I really wish there would be an easy way to just exit this world should one wish for that.

 

[AllFoxedOut]

That would depnd on which jurisdiction you are in, and I don't know that.

fair but most of the western world has mandatory reporting laws. not sure about non english speaking places though

 

[LaVieEnRose]

So much of it seems to be about liability. I almost wish patients could sign a waiver with their therapists- it's not up to you to prevent me from killing myself. Of course though- that sends out a signal we might actually have autonomy and I guess that's out the window when you 'admit' to being so 'crazy' as to having suicidal thoughts.

It's bizare though. Again- you don't get it with regular doctors. Like- well- it looks like terminal cancer but I'm sorry- I don't treat patients who might die.

Liability is in fact the paramount concern, especially in a country as litigious as America. When a patient says "I am suicidal" the clinician's first thought isn't "oh no they might die" but rather "I need to protect myself" which we can't really blame them for actually since the suicide of a patient could have a lot of professional and personal consequences. They just need to be honest about their motivations especially as they demand complete honesty from us.

As the meme I shared illustrates the threat of coercive intervention looms over and colors every therapy session. That's not conducive to healing at all.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I don't trust therapists at all.
One therapist lied about me saying that I was actively trying to kill myself. I was put into the nuthouse against my will because of this.
I think She is a malignant narcissist, who enjoys messing people's lives up.

 

[deomlez]

They just need to be honest about their motivations especially as they demand complete honesty from us.

Such a good point... i will talk about this with her at the next session

 

[FuneralCry]

You cannot be honest with people like that, it's just the reality that anything related to suicide cannot be discussed openly as doing such a thing just leads to one being punished, it's awful how we exist in a world which punishes suicidal people by cruelly locking them in psych wards. And to me therapy sounds like something best avoided, it's just a way to profit from people's suffering.

 

[Sweet Tart]

Ugh this is so frustrating. A therapist is responsible to inform you of their obligations are regarding anything you might say. It doesn't sound like you actually met the criteria for "needing" inpatient treatment since the therapist didn't involuntarily have you assessed in the psych ER. Maybe it's for the best that you found out they doesn't know how to help before opening up to them further.

 

[Unattainable666]

Ugh this is so frustrating. A therapist is responsible to inform you of their obligations are regarding anything you might say. It doesn't sound like you actually met the criteria for "needing" inpatient treatment since the therapist didn't involuntarily have you assessed in the psych ER. Maybe it's for the best that you found out they doesn't know how to help before opening up to them further.

I agree