Cannabis and suicidal thoughts

[eternalpeace]

Cannabis is legal where I live. I have been using it to help my MS and my depression for a little over a year. (With Drs approval). I used to do edibles, but then my tolerance skyrocketed and it was breaking the bank, so I switched to capsules.

The last 4 or 5 times that I used, I was thinking about my suicide plan, and all of a sudden felt like I was afraid I wasn't breathing in enough air. I was able to breathe just fine, it was just this sense of panic that I wouldn't be able to on the next breath. And then I had this clear vision of carrying out my CTB plan and freaking out and calling for help. In order to calm down, I had to tell myself that I would find another solution if I didn't want to CTB.

Once I sobered up, I felt as suicidal as ever, and had no doubts.

I'm not sure what to make of this…whether it's a sign that in the deepest resources of my mind I really don't want to do this, or just a manifestation of the fact that I'm wrestling with one of the biggest decisions a person could make, or whether it was just the cannabis taking my mind on a little tour…

Whatever it is, the one activity that used to actually provide some relief isn't much of a relief anymore. :(

 

[OrcWitch]

I don't mean to be dismissive, but personally I wouldn't place any deeper meaning on weed induced paranoia. I'm sorry it's starting to make you anxious instead of relieved.

 

[Fragile]

Sounds like the typical weed edible psychosis. The not getting enough air is a clear sign and it's surprisingly common, but in reality you are breathing just fine.

Take a tolerance break, a week should do the trick even with heavy tolerance. Also, eat something fatty the next time you partake, it really helps with the absorption and stability of your experience.
In my experience changing the strain or the cbd to thc ratio does absolutely nothing when it comes to edibles.

 

[Somber]

Can't say I have had any similar experiences while on cannabis and I try not think about CTB whenever I do consume it.

However I do know that a bad (or a few bad) experiences doesn't mean all of them will be. I had pretty much a full on panic attack the first time I tried it, totally underestimating the effects of it, and having no clue about what a normal quantity was, but with time I knew what to expect and got some relief out of it. I still sometimes forget my limits, though.

Maybe you ought to try occupying your mind with something less serious than CTB whenever you take cannabis? Watch a movie, tv show, play a game, etc.

I wouldn't immediately look for a deeper meaning behind it, but it doesn't hurt to do some self reflection. If there is anything you have, it's time.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Yup like other users stated this must be weed psychosis from using large quantities. I also had that when i used to smoke alot of weed once and I felt like i am not able to breath and that if i somehow fell asleep like this i will die. I fought falling asleep for like 2 days because i was terrified i will stop breathing but eventually i passed out and i woke up fine. Point is that weed makes people paranoid and scared. It is just how weed act

 

[GentleJerk]

This started happening to me too which is why I had to stop smoking a while ago. In the past It used to be very therapeutic and always helped me, was always very enjoyable.

Then when my health started going downhill, it started really exacerbating all the bad thoughts and fear. I would go from actually feeling somewhat ok, to having a smoke and feeling a hyper-inflated awareness of all the things that where wrong, along with a lot of fear and panic that would leave me in a state of extreme tension for the rest of the day and night.

Same. It was the one thing that always used to really help in a lot of ways and I had to stop completely.

 

[_Minsk]

Weed always gave me panic attacks later on when i used it more often. The first times it was nice but somehow i didn't notice the bad sides (which got bigger over time). Till i stopped it, these crazy states of extreme fear and this feeling of doom I've experienced was just frightening.
I'm sorry for your experience:/. sending much love

 

[Lostandlooking]

I get very anxious from smoking weed as well. In the past it used to help. Nowadays not so much, so I rarely smoke.

I had a really rough week with lots of pain and mental distress. And suddenly I just remembered edibles. They used to help in the past and have had better experiences with them than smoking. I'm glad to say it has helped a lot the last couple of days. Also with the physical pain. Hope I don't develop a tolerance and a bad reaction to them like op.

I really needed that little bit of relaxation and pain relief. Wow it makes such a difference. Wish there were more options. Cbd oil hasn't worked for me, alcohol usually makes me more depressed. Things like melatonine does absolutely nothing to me. From antidepressants I just get nasty side effects. It's difficult trying to find something that kinda works.

Edit: I first put ctb oil instead of cbd lol

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

I had the same experience as @GentleSoul, and it blows because it was my main way of really enjoying music.

I'm sure people here are familiar with the "poop out effect" with SSRIs where they just stop working? I had that exact experience but with weed. Crushing.

 

[Deboneire1]

Just ignore. Im trying to get some comments up so I can send and receive PMs.