I have powdered N, which an association for aid in dying allowed me to obtain via reliable laboratories (according to the association), in China, but that was in 2017, and I still have it .
This association, which militates, in my country, for euthanasia and the end of life chosen, was the victim of police raids two years ago.
The police are carrying out massive raids and house searches all over the country to dismantle this network which helps people to die clandestinely, with dignity.
Since this police raid, doctors have been imprisoned, have lost the right to practice medicine, many members, several hundred have been imprisoned or placed on electronic bracelets. My country has tried to shut down several labs around the world, including in China.
Luckily the Dark Net helped prevent that. My country is a real dictatorship that does not say its name and claims to be the origin of human rights!!!
The association is, since these police raids, under permanent surveillance and under telephone tapping!
Only here, I weigh 90kg, and I have 15 grams of powdered N.
If if I don't have enough, can I mix it with SN?
The other idea would be that I travel to South America to CTB there afterwards, because, when I was younger, I had made beautiful romantic encounters with these people.
Only here, do I have the financial means to go there now? Will my health allow me to live a little there before CTB.
My wish, before CTB, would have been to go around the world, having cut ties with my father, who still refuses to accompany me to Switzerland.
Originally, the association in Switzerland (which is different from the other association in my country, victim of police raids), had given me the green light, because of my health, for an assisted suicide, but I absolutely need a witness to accompany me there.
I want my father, who beat and abused me as a child, to see me die, that would be his punishment. Without my father, I have no one, so I'm still condemned to live, because of this stupid need for a witness, which proves that assisted suicide is indeed my will, and not a murder.
This youtube video, from Exit International, in 2018, 'The DIY home nembutal purity test', is it reliable?