Help Can you share your experiences taking large ODs?

[Desperate2die]

I'd really love to hear if anyone has experiences taking large amounts of tablets at once...

I'm going in the next few days (finally) but i've put my body through a lot (have had many previous ODs with 100+ less effective meds which i've managed to somehow, painfully swallow) and now find it extremely difficult to swallow any amount of meds. I have around 200 pills (codeine + stronger stuff) and i got a pill crusher because i thought mixing it with a non-acidic drink would work best (pear juice).. i tested a little last night and it was still extremely difficult (my body instantly just wants to gag at the thought of putting any of it into my body). I have strong over the counter anti nausea meds so im just hoping that'll be enough to be able to get it all down (swallowing the smaller ones and drinking the larger ones i've crushed).
I'm really really desperate and want nothing more than to fade away into peace and safety forever. Breathing is fckn unbearable and i NEED to do this.

If anyone can share any tips or past experiences they've had, it would mean the absolute world.

 

[jjnsjso44458]

When I was 13, I intentionally overdosed on Lexapro and swallowed a whole bottles worth of pills. This was a while ago (I'm in my 20s now) but I remember shaking non-stop and my eyes were super dilated and bloodshot. I thought I was going to have a seizure with how much shaking there was. All that happened was I was rushed to the hospital and was on IV fluids, but wasn't comatose or anything. I was still pretty coherent. I would say there was about 50 or so pills in there so not a lot, so take my experience with a grain of salt. I've done a lot of research on the likelihood of dying by overdosing on pills, and a lot of the info I found said that this is one of the most least effective ways to kill yourself. It's apparently really hard to actually die from pill overdose. The worst that can happen is you get violently sick. That's what I keep seeing on the internet at least.

I'm sorry you're going through this :( Living sucks.

 

[captivebutterfly]

I have had over 30 overdoses each with at least 50-200 tablets. Some were more of a self harm attempt than a suicide attempt and others I'd take large quantities. My last attempt was the worst and now I really struggle even just taking my normal doses of medicine because my body is convinced I'm taking ODs. I wish I had advice on how to fix in, I've also tried crushing tablets and had not much success because my body just rejects it. Sorry I don't have much advice here, all I can say is you're not alone in that struggle. I'm sorry it has come to this, life can be so painful.

 

[Desperate2die]

I have had over 30 overdoses each with at least 50-200 tablets. Some were more of a self harm attempt than a suicide attempt and others I'd take large quantities. My last attempt was the worst and now I really struggle even just taking my normal doses of medicine because my body is convinced I'm taking ODs. I wish I had advice on how to fix in, I've also tried crushing tablets and had not much success because my body just rejects it. Sorry I don't have much advice here, all I can say is you're not alone in that struggle. I'm sorry it has come to this, life can be so painful.

i relate to this so much, omg.. I've probably "overdosed" over 50 times but many of those times were what i refer to as "Russian roulette", realistically knowing i probably wont die from it but using it to self-harm or shift my focus onto physical pain/discomfort while also hoping it magically kills me. But yeah, my last few serious attempts were horrific (resulting in seizures, comas, etc) and whenever i even just put any amount of pills in my mouth, i instantly get nauseous and my body wants to repel it as well.. the last time i took a serious OD (150 pills) it did actually really help taking the anti nausea meds an hour or so beforehand, only vomited a tiny bit right at the end but still a really painfully horrific experience. Thank you for sharing though, even without any miraculous effective answers, i can relate so much and it helps so it means a lot. Sorry for everything you've experienced and are going through though... i hope it somehow can get better for you

 

[cantthinkofusername]

i took a lot of caffeine tablets a while back, spent like 20 hours puking, and a few days w/out sleep, had to spend a night in hospital, caused some muscle damage, nothing permanent, aside from the fact that i feel like im gonna puke every time i have to take any medicine at all now

 

[captivebutterfly]

i relate to this so much, omg.. I've probably "overdosed" over 50 times but many of those times were what i refer to as "Russian roulette", realistically knowing i probably wont die from it but using it to self-harm or shift my focus onto physical pain/discomfort while also hoping it magically kills me. But yeah, my last few serious attempts were horrific (resulting in seizures, comas, etc) and whenever i even just put any amount of pills in my mouth, i instantly get nauseous and my body wants to repel it as well.. the last time i took a serious OD (150 pills) it did actually really help taking the anti nausea meds an hour or so beforehand, only vomited a tiny bit right at the end but still a really painfully horrific experience. Thank you for sharing though, even without any miraculous effective answers, i can relate so much and it helps so it means a lot. Sorry for everything you've experienced and are going through though... i hope it somehow can get better for you

I relate to the Russian roulette comment so much. I'm sorry you're suffering and I hope things get better for you too

 

[Olisop21.]

I just have to die soon. I hope I can get the. If I could spontaneously combust. I think I'm such a coward
I need to run and Ctb.
The SI is so strong.

 

[bessops1976]

Just last week I took a really large overdose of pregabalin and quetiapine. I called for help the last minute. I remember nothing for about 36 hours, the hospital catheterised me and I ended up with a bad chest on ivs. I'm struggling not to do the same again but take more than last week and force myself not to call for help. I was in hospital for 4 days due to this attempt.


I've been trying partial but it's not working for me. I do have a history of trying carbon monoxide but failed a couple of times having bailed on one and being saved from another attempt. Overdoses, with the right meds is quite peaceful but I once took an overdose of lithium and that was very messy, I would not recommend that at all

 

[Desperate2die]

Just last week I took a really large overdose of pregabalin and quetiapine. I called for help the last minute. I remember nothing for about 36 hours, the hospital catheterised me and I ended up with a bad chest on ivs. I'm struggling not to do the same again but take more than last week and force myself not to call for help. I was in hospital for 4 days due to this attempt.


I've been trying partial but it's not working for me. I do have a history of trying carbon monoxide but failed a couple of times having bailed on one and being saved from another attempt. Overdoses, with the right meds is quite peaceful but I once took an overdose of lithium and that was very messy, I would not recommend that at all

I'm really sorry to hear about that all.. i know how you feel though, but i hope somehow things can improve for you. But i get the desperation of wanting so badly for it all to stop.
In terms of your overdoses, how do you mentally/physically do actually swallowing all the pills? It seems that the more someone overdoses, the harder it gets to actually swallow pills due to severe nausea instantly due to past experiences. Did you get any of that?

 

[bessops1976]

I'm really sorry to hear about that all.. i know how you feel though, but i hope somehow things can improve for you. But i get the desperation of wanting so badly for it all to stop.
In terms of your overdoses, how do you mentally/physically do actually swallowing all the pills? It seems that the more someone overdoses, the harder it gets to actually swallow pills due to severe nausea instantly due to past experiences. Did you get any of that?

No I didnt get nausea, in fact it was quite easy taking all those tablets. The worst part was not being aware of what was happening, I think about repeating it but overdoses rarely succeed

 

[lan11]

I've taken a few overdoses, the last one was the worst. I took about 80 tablets, was found having a seizure and I was in a coma for 2 days, woke up in icu. I want to try again but obviously not get found this time but people on this site think that it will not work so idk. I also find it difficult to swallow pills now so no clue how I'd manage to swallow that much again. This seems to be the most accessible method for me and the one I seem closest to going through with, I just want it to work.

 

[TiredTurtle]

i have taken hundreds of benzos before and i never felt so good in my life