I think I have a weird relationship to it. It is a little bit paradoxical. I was bullied in school a lot due to obesity. When the bullying became way less I started to lose weight. It was kind of weird. When the external pressure got less my will to lose weight increased.
Sometimes I enjoyed to be an outcast. I think I am a person with strong principles. But I would not fight for them in an idealistic way. The price must not be too high. I think when I was really young I learned that people can be pretty cruel. And that I need distance to them in order not to get hurt. But I have met my best friends as a teenager. I am so thankful having met them. With the support of them my courage to resist peer pressure increased. The loneliness before that was bonecrushing. I think I was not the usual teenager. Many rebel against their parents. I never did. Maybe due to the abuse. Maybe it would have been healthier to rebel. I would be now more independent. But I have internaized a lot of their pressure and I am unable to get rid of it. It accompanies me on daily basis.
I can remember I was the only in class who said drugs are bad. I was against the legalisation of many of them. Never took drugs myself not even alcohol. Though I drink a lot of coffee. My teachers were impressed that I was brave enough to openly say I am against the legalisation of drugs. Because all the other teenagers were in favor of it. I can remember a teacher told me I was so brave. I gave such a fucking stupid answer. I was really dumb. I told her my parents raised me to be this brave. Bullshit. I think I just did not know what to say. To that time I did not question the child abuse. I thought it would have made me stronger. The complete opposite is the truth. My parents rather raised me to become an opportunist. Though my antipathy against drugs kind of stem from my parents. I think this is why I gave this distorted answer.
I think I am not that good in resisting peer pressure. But it strongly depends on the context. I have some principles I am kind of insular. Mostly about some OCD behaviors. For example when it comes to education. I don't give a fuck whether people call me a careerist or any other bullshit. I am very insecure and my obsessive behavior is way more important than the view of strangers on me.
I think I would not have the guts to stand up against Putin for example. I think if I could I would leave Russia. But I am very anxious about breaking the law. This would be a tormenting dilemma for me.
In my country there is often the question would the current generation stand up against a second Adolf Hitler. I am principled against extremist policitical views and often express my contrarian views. But I doubt I would have the inner strength for an guerilla war for example.
I like contrarianism. I admire such people. At least my policitical views became more mainstream over the years. But for example when I was a teenager I was a conservative. For this age this was much of contrarianism. But I think I often just adopted ideas of my parents. But even as a conservative I liked contrariansim. I was always in favor of assisted suicide. And when I talked with other conservatives I emphasized that their views are inhuman in my opinion.
Sometimes I enjoyed to be an outcast. I think I am a person with strong principles. But I would not fight for them in an idealistic way. The price must not be too high. I think when I was really young I learned that people can be pretty cruel. And that I need distance to them in order not to get hurt. But I have met my best friends as a teenager. I am so thankful having met them. With the support of them my courage to resist peer pressure increased. The loneliness before that was bonecrushing. I think I was not the usual teenager. Many rebel against their parents. I never did. Maybe due to the abuse. Maybe it would have been healthier to rebel. I would be now more independent. But I have internaized a lot of their pressure and I am unable to get rid of it. It accompanies me on daily basis.
I can remember I was the only in class who said drugs are bad. I was against the legalisation of many of them. Never took drugs myself not even alcohol. Though I drink a lot of coffee. My teachers were impressed that I was brave enough to openly say I am against the legalisation of drugs. Because all the other teenagers were in favor of it. I can remember a teacher told me I was so brave. I gave such a fucking stupid answer. I was really dumb. I told her my parents raised me to be this brave. Bullshit. I think I just did not know what to say. To that time I did not question the child abuse. I thought it would have made me stronger. The complete opposite is the truth. My parents rather raised me to become an opportunist. Though my antipathy against drugs kind of stem from my parents. I think this is why I gave this distorted answer.
I think I am not that good in resisting peer pressure. But it strongly depends on the context. I have some principles I am kind of insular. Mostly about some OCD behaviors. For example when it comes to education. I don't give a fuck whether people call me a careerist or any other bullshit. I am very insecure and my obsessive behavior is way more important than the view of strangers on me.
I think I would not have the guts to stand up against Putin for example. I think if I could I would leave Russia. But I am very anxious about breaking the law. This would be a tormenting dilemma for me.
In my country there is often the question would the current generation stand up against a second Adolf Hitler. I am principled against extremist policitical views and often express my contrarian views. But I doubt I would have the inner strength for an guerilla war for example.
I like contrarianism. I admire such people. At least my policitical views became more mainstream over the years. But for example when I was a teenager I was a conservative. For this age this was much of contrarianism. But I think I often just adopted ideas of my parents. But even as a conservative I liked contrariansim. I was always in favor of assisted suicide. And when I talked with other conservatives I emphasized that their views are inhuman in my opinion.
Last edited:
