Can you please be sincere with me , i need an opinion

[bloomingdark]

Hi, well my situation with my boyfriend it's really bad at this moment, we are almost three years "together" and right now everything goes downfall, we were okay but then my best friend and he started acting sexual with me , we had a threesome and we were in a kind of triangle, i felt so bad because they were always together and not really telling me and it made me uncomfortable to be like that because I didn't love her in a sexual or romantic way even, then I told them it was making me feel really bad and everything ended , except that they started working as webcam models together, everyday, and my boyfriend was telling me even after the threesome that he didn't want to have labels and he didn't consider me his gf, i was tired of the situation and i started hating my best friend , i stopped talking to her and blocked her out of my life, i broke up with my boyfriend but then we ended up crying in a park ,he told me he was in one of his biggest depression fases (he is bp) and started crying like I have never seen him, he told me that i was one of the only good things in his life and later on will tell me that when the time came he will ask me to be his girlfriend and will be just with me / quit his job because he is paying his meds with that money, a one week ago he told me that he didn't believe he would ever be my boyfriend/ be compromised with me because he didn't know if he would be ready ever , and then told me he didn't wanted me to have hopes on that

He is still working as a webcam with her and barely calls me, he doesn't tell me to go out with him unless I propose it


He tried to ctb or well he cuted his wrist last month, so I was really worried and making him feel better by the time, i don't tell him about my mental health because he stopped asking/caring


This situation is really fucking me up , mentally, emotionally but idk what to do

I won't leave him because , he is not abusive towards me and i know he kinds of doesn't understand how emotions works , and he is the only person that has really loved me/cared about me

I wanted to let it out, and talk about how I feel , i know I'm pretty stupid, i just, don't really know why do I deserve this and why did the only two people I trusted did this....

 

[StringPuppet]

I'm gonna be honest it kinda sounds like he's just using you for emotional labor. I wouldn't personally keep waiting for someone like that to commit to me, but then again it's your decision.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

i felt so bad because they were always together and not really telling me and it made me uncomfortable

my boyfriend was telling me even after the threesome that he didn't want to have labels and he didn't consider me his gf

one week ago he told me that he didn't believe he would ever be my boyfriend

barely calls me, he doesn't tell me to go out with him unless I propose it

he is the only person that has really loved me/cared about me

I am highlighting the above quotes because I don't feel these are the actions of a loving, caring person. He wanted threesomes but to not have a "label" on the relationship because that suited him. When you decided that wasn't what you wanted and broke up with him, he essentially manipulated you into staying with him, but he still doesn't want to be your boyfriend...Hmm...

And now he barely speaks with you, and has told you that he never thinks he can be your boyfriend.

I think it's good he was honest that he might never be ready for a relationship. I think the ethical thing to do in that situation is to end things, though. I wouldn't dream of saying "I can't be with you", while simultaneously expecting the other person to stay with me. If I knew I couldn't give someone I cared about the type of relationship they needed, I'd walk away to give them some chance of finding that happiness with another person.

It's wrong that he's saying he doesn't intend to be with you, yet he wants you to be with him, and is willing to tell you what you want to hear when you make a decision he doesn't like, only to take it all back. That is so damn manipulative. You don't deserve someone who will lead you on, repeatedly walk all over your boundaries and then ignore you. That's not loving. It's not caring.

You say he's not abusive but aspects of his behaviour sound emotionally abusive to me. I don't know him personally, but that was my impression after reading this post. You deserve way better than this person and your "friend."

I do appreciate that he's mentally ill and clearly has his own issues in life and with suicide. I empathise with that. However, it doesn't give him the right to treat you like garbage.

 

[demuic]

It doesn't sound like he's very concerned for your feelings. What he's said has been all about how he feels. You're being stringed along.

I'm guessing he didn't ask your permission to be a cam model with her, and by the sounds of it being secretive about hanging out with her. I think that's being unfaithful. That's not a healthy relationship.

He may "love" or care about you but that's not enough to make a relationship work out. It's clearly making you miserable and you're emotional needs aren't being met, nor are any others. Right now, it seems like you're the only one putting work in and even if he says you're one of the only good things in his life he's clearly not treating you like that.

As @-Persephone- said he does seem to be manipulating you.

If it were me I know what I would do but it's all up to you.

Good luck.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

@Alex58, Tell them both to take a long walk off a short pier and find a Man who is Worthy of a Angel like you!

 

[◄✵火✵〇°Ø•WÅR•Ī°〇✵火✵►]

I agree with all the above comments. Take care, op. Take care of your well-being by cutting off what doesn't fulfill you and make room for what truly does fulfill you and only what truly fulfills you. Good luck.

 

[wordsonscreen]

I agree with all the above comments. Take care, op. Take care of your well-being by cutting off what doesn't fulfill you and make room for what truly does fulfill you and only what truly fulfills you. Good luck.

Agreed.

You deserve so much love. Good relationships should feel good <3 Trust your body.

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

Hi, well my situation with my boyfriend it's really bad at this moment, we are almost three years "together" and right now everything goes downfall, we were okay but then my best friend and he started acting sexual with me , we had a threesome and we were in a kind of triangle, i felt so bad because they were always together and not really telling me and it made me uncomfortable to be like that because I didn't love her in a sexual or romantic way even, then I told them it was making me feel really bad and everything ended , except that they started working as webcam models together, everyday, and my boyfriend was telling me even after the threesome that he didn't want to have labels and he didn't consider me his gf, i was tired of the situation and i started hating my best friend , i stopped talking to her and blocked her out of my life, i broke up with my boyfriend but then we ended up crying in a park ,he told me he was in one of his biggest depression fases (he is bp) and started crying like I have never seen him, he told me that i was one of the only good things in his life and later on will tell me that when the time came he will ask me to be his girlfriend and will be just with me / quit his job because he is paying his meds with that money, a one week ago he told me that he didn't believe he would ever be my boyfriend/ be compromised with me because he didn't know if he would be ready ever , and then told me he didn't wanted me to have hopes on that

He is still working as a webcam with her and barely calls me, he doesn't tell me to go out with him unless I propose it


He tried to ctb or well he cuted his wrist last month, so I was really worried and making him feel better by the time, i don't tell him about my mental health because he stopped asking/caring


This situation is really fucking me up , mentally, emotionally but idk what to do

I won't leave him because , he is not abusive towards me and i know he kinds of doesn't understand how emotions works , and he is the only person that has really loved me/cared about me

I wanted to let it out, and talk about how I feel , i know I'm pretty stupid, i just, don't really know why do I deserve this and why did the only two people I trusted did this....

You need self respect and the first thing is to leave that emotional tampon. I am sorry you're being used it's not right...

 

[TessB]

Hi, well my situation with my boyfriend it's really bad at this moment, we are almost three years "together" and right now everything goes downfall, we were okay but then my best friend and he started acting sexual with me , we had a threesome and we were in a kind of triangle, i felt so bad because they were always together and not really telling me and it made me uncomfortable to be like that because I didn't love her in a sexual or romantic way even, then I told them it was making me feel really bad and everything ended , except that they started working as webcam models together, everyday, and my boyfriend was telling me even after the threesome that he didn't want to have labels and he didn't consider me his gf, i was tired of the situation and i started hating my best friend , i stopped talking to her and blocked her out of my life, i broke up with my boyfriend but then we ended up crying in a park ,he told me he was in one of his biggest depression fases (he is bp) and started crying like I have never seen him, he told me that i was one of the only good things in his life and later on will tell me that when the time came he will ask me to be his girlfriend and will be just with me / quit his job because he is paying his meds with that money, a one week ago he told me that he didn't believe he would ever be my boyfriend/ be compromised with me because he didn't know if he would be ready ever , and then told me he didn't wanted me to have hopes on that

He is still working as a webcam with her and barely calls me, he doesn't tell me to go out with him unless I propose it


He tried to ctb or well he cuted his wrist last month, so I was really worried and making him feel better by the time, i don't tell him about my mental health because he stopped asking/caring


This situation is really fucking me up , mentally, emotionally but idk what to do

I won't leave him because , he is not abusive towards me and i know he kinds of doesn't understand how emotions works , and he is the only person that has really loved me/cared about me

I wanted to let it out, and talk about how I feel , i know I'm pretty stupid, i just, don't really know why do I deserve this and why did the only two people I trusted did this....

You've said you won't leave him because he's not abusive towards you, but this sounds like emotional abuse. Threesomes are rarely the fantasy people imagine and they can really fuck you up. Then the webcam stuff? It's all such a mess. I think while you are still connected to him you won't feel better. You need to disengage from him and concentrate on yourself. Good luck xxx

 

[LONE WOLF.]

The heart of a good Woman is the most precious gift a Man can process,and men(if you can call them that?)that don't respect that are lower to the ground than dog shite and deserve their small balls being kicked up their back passage!

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

The heart of a good Woman is the most precious gift a Man can process,and men(if you can call them that?)that don't respect that are lower to the ground than dog shite and deserve their small balls being kicked up their back passage!

Just from how she describes him, it appears he is using her for his sexual gratifications or emotional outlets without giving it back to the OP.
Alex I hope you have a good day, how are you?

 

[Bergamot]

Hi, well my situation with my boyfriend it's really bad at this moment, we are almost three years "together" and right now everything goes downfall, we were okay but then my best friend and he started acting sexual with me , we had a threesome and we were in a kind of triangle, i felt so bad because they were always together and not really telling me and it made me uncomfortable to be like that because I didn't love her in a sexual or romantic way even, then I told them it was making me feel really bad and everything ended , except that they started working as webcam models together, everyday, and my boyfriend was telling me even after the threesome that he didn't want to have labels and he didn't consider me his gf, i was tired of the situation and i started hating my best friend , i stopped talking to her and blocked her out of my life, i broke up with my boyfriend but then we ended up crying in a park ,he told me he was in one of his biggest depression fases (he is bp) and started crying like I have never seen him, he told me that i was one of the only good things in his life and later on will tell me that when the time came he will ask me to be his girlfriend and will be just with me / quit his job because he is paying his meds with that money, a one week ago he told me that he didn't believe he would ever be my boyfriend/ be compromised with me because he didn't know if he would be ready ever , and then told me he didn't wanted me to have hopes on that

He is still working as a webcam with her and barely calls me, he doesn't tell me to go out with him unless I propose it


He tried to ctb or well he cuted his wrist last month, so I was really worried and making him feel better by the time, i don't tell him about my mental health because he stopped asking/caring


This situation is really fucking me up , mentally, emotionally but idk what to do

I won't leave him because , he is not abusive towards me and i know he kinds of doesn't understand how emotions works , and he is the only person that has really loved me/cared about me

I wanted to let it out, and talk about how I feel , i know I'm pretty stupid, i just, don't really know why do I deserve this and why did the only two people I trusted did this....

he is very lucky to have a girl like you ... mine for all the love and affection he barks at her did everything to hurt me to destroy me and not to leave me continuing to hurt me for her indifference towards me .. maybe one day I will do CTB ... very soon because I have been thinking about CTB for 8 months already ... maybe that day she will realize how much she hurt me and how much I loved her and took care of her.

 

[Mentalmick]

This relationship sounds very one sided with a lot of emotional blackmail coming from his side. I know it's easy to say but you should seriously consider binning him.

 

[blue_muse]

You've invested so much in this guy who, not meaning to sound cliched, doesn't deserve you. The following isn't a criticism of you: he's leading you on like you're an option rather than a priority. The more you hope for him to change is the more he'll show indifference, which is if he ever makes his mind up. It's a tug of war because each time you make it known you want to be official then he's unsure, but when you pull away slightly then the assurances start.

Sorry you're going through this .

 

[Lmd]

He is obviously using you. Probably not on purpose because when people does this stuff it's usually without knowing it but if you are going to start thinking about the real intentions then you are gonna stay like that until it completely consumes you.

I think it's not worth thinking about him or how he feels. In this case it's better to be selfish and think what do you want and if you are gonna have it someday by his side. If the answer is no or "mayybe some year" then just drop it and move on.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

The heart of a good Woman is the most precious gift a Man can process,and men(if you can call them that?)that don't respect that are lower to the ground than dog shite and deserve their small balls being kicked up their back passage!

Damn Auto Correcter, l meant to say That the Heart of a good woman is the most precious treasure a Man gets to behold, and Men who don't respect that are Not Men, They're little boys pretending to be Men and lower to the ground than dog shite and need their tiny balls kicked up their back passage! You need to find Yourself a Real Man who is Worthy of You! :-)