Discussion Can you describe your extreme mental pain ?

[Painless_end]

I wish to delve deeper into the absolute extreme mental pain that people have, especially people like us on this site.

Can you describe a time when you didn't have any major physical illness or injury or accident, but still suffered some kind of extreme mental agony or illness while trying to cope up with life ?

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

My brain and face feel physically numb. Its as if my head is constantly under physical pressure. I have no feelings. I feel dead inside. I feel like I'm not really here, like I'm in a haze. I feel detached from my body. I never feel at peace. I dont enjoy anything. I dont feel excited about anything. I feel so dull and cut off. I'm also scared of psychosis and mood swings. I'm just very pessimistic about the future. I want to have my CTB ready so I can exit when the time is right.

 

[BobMorane]

Lets see. Constant anxiety because thinking of death all day long, terrible mood swings : one second Im okay, the next I need to sit down because my heart is racing . The other horrible part is constant lethargy induced by heavy medications (although they've changed it this year and its quite better, but still). Oh, and the perpetual doubt when im hanging with a large group of persons, if what im hearing it's them or it's voices from psychosis (it happens time to time). All day long im at the edge of breaking down and ctb. It's like a constant arm wrestling between life and death, it's draining all my energy and never ever stops even when im touching rock bottom. I also get strange thinking, like, what happens if I put my hand in the blender and press on ? In perpetual grief of my life of before, I realise how lucky I was . I can only compare it to losing the person you love most, but it happens everyday. And you're expected by psychiatrist to let that person go because she's not coming back ever. Fuck you ! If that person died she should be DEAD.
Ufff
sorry for the long rant. needed to get it off my chest.

 

[SuicideRun]

I didn't have a nice family. Even if I haven't missed anything. It lacked the love and security that comes from a family unit. I live perpetually in trouble, the fears handed down by my parents are more powerful in me every day. Perennial feeling of always being out of time not in sync with others. The eternal pretense with everyone I hang out with. This black hole in which I drown every day without dying, and in the morning start all over again. I'm afraid of going crazy and not being able to volunteer CTB anymore. The bottom that is never touched. Being with other people and feeling like a shadow. I'm so tired. Sorry my english but i'm using google translate.