Discussion Can you describe the emotion of love to me?

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

I don't think i understand this emotion, as in people say "I love you" i say it back but i don't actually know what im saying, i don't feel anything in the moment before or after and it just seems like a throwaway thing to me, like dust on a fresh pair of shoes, just brush it away and it becomes beautiful again.

Like i don't understand physical affection either, i dislike being touched but i won't make a scene out of it or push away either, i feel no sexual feelings or love towards anyone, i could have had a few romances in the past, I've been snogged by 3 girls in my life and each time i have no idea what the point was, it was just like rolling a worm around in my mouth. They smile and enjoy it though, but I'm just perplexed....

Like what do you guys get from it, what is it?

 

[RedHates]

I feel the exact same way. I feel as if I'm incapable of love but I know I can get obsessive. I have really strong attachments but I don't think it's the same as what people describe love to be. I have never felt anything near their descriptions and it leaves me confused too.

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

I feel the exact same way. I feel as if I'm incapable of love but I know I can get obsessive. I have really strong attachments but I don't think it's the same as what people describe love to be. I have never felt anything near their descriptions and it leaves me confused too.

Is yours almost like an attachment to objects, or items? Sometimes i treat people i'm more attuned to in this way, as if they are an object that i want to have. not in a nefarious way though, almost like a toy in a sense.

 

[m1v]

Validation? The feeling of being needed gives me a sense of purpose in life. The sentiment of appreciation too, it feels like I'm worthy of their love and that they genuinely value my presence. That's the feelings I get from it.

 

[RedHates]

Is yours almost like an attachment to objects, or items? Sometimes i treat people i'm more attuned to in this way, as if they are an object that i want to have. not in a nefarious way though, almost like a toy in a sense.

Yeah, it's like I want to keep them. Not in like a creepy way but I have the need to make absolutely sure that I wont lose anything else.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

The romantic thing to say would be that love is to give without expectations. But it's not. We actually need to get back what we give, in some form. At least that's how it works for me. Hate is always right around the corner. For me, it's just a feeling of being respected so I can share my respect without fear. It's an ego thing. But it's also about freeing myself of the ego by giving back selflessly. And round it goes.
Love is the tendency of my infrastructure for finding freedom from fear in a mutual dependency with other cursed souls.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'd say there were different types of love but I think mostly it's about connection. Really- we are quite lonely in this world. We don't REALLY know what another person is feeling or thinking. I suppose- when we feel love- it's in part a hope that the other person is feeling what we are and there is finally a connection/ understanding between us.

That all said- I've never been in romantic love and had it reciprocated. But- at it's strongest moment- you aren't just you anymore. It's a bond I suppose. It can be a mutual love of something I suppose- that you share. So- like when couples share a sunset or a nice dinner, a conversation or sex I guess . Like- both of you are feeling extreme happiness and pleasure and you know it wouldn't be the same without them there. I guess it becomes a kind of pact because then it's a memory. A very intense happy moment that you shared with someone else. I suppose if you have enough of those moments- you feel love for a person. You've built up a history of special moments that can only be understood by you and them. Of course- that's the frightening part- if you then lose them- if they die or leave- then it can feel like a part of you goes with them. I think for people who've experienced that- they may not want to leave themselves open to that pain in the future. Plenty of people here have become hurt because they loved and then lost. So- it has it's downside too.

 

[Pollenallergy]

I don't think i understand this emotion, as in people say "I love you" i say it back but i don't actually know what im saying, i don't feel anything in the moment before or after and it just seems like a throwaway thing to me, like dust on a fresh pair of shoes, just brush it away and it becomes beautiful again.

Like i don't understand physical affection either, i dislike being touched but i won't make a scene out of it or push away either, i feel no sexual feelings or love towards anyone, i could have had a few romances in the past, I've been snogged by 3 girls in my life and each time i have no idea what the point was, it was just like rolling a worm around in my mouth. They smile and enjoy it though, but I'm just perplexed....

Like what do you guys get from it, what is it?

For me, there is merely one person I have ever felt true, genuine love for. And that's all I need.

It's this overwhelming sensation of joy, energyband warmth. I feel a deep compassion within me, I want to care for them, and I would do anything for them to care back. Their words, no matter how simple, sent waves through me, it felt like nicotine in a way, I felt so desperate for this to continue, they wouldn't leave my thoughts. I would yearn to hear their voice, to see their messages, and for their affection. I remember when we first hugged, not joking when I walked home nearly skipping like a child. It felt so warm, I felt so alive, it was like this was the meaning of life.

Yet, altough I still yearn for this, I simply can't get the same joy out of it anymore. It feels so dulled down. It feels so pointless. I miss it more than anything, they are still in my life of course but, I can't explain why things feel so different now. My disdain for life and the people around me seems to have stained the one thingo truly found joy and purpose in. I don't know how to convey my love anymore. And it hurts, because in my heart, I know theres so much more that I want to give them. I no longer hold the words, nor the energy to physically show that I care. I've resorted to buying them items, and such... but it doesn't feel the same anymore.

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

Well thanks for the comments guys, very interesting to read although i can't say I've ever felt that way about anyone. Not in a mean way just I'm just not programmed that way i guess.

This girl i knew had a crush on me, she used to run her hand through my hair and cuddle me, one day she mentioned she liked me and decided when we were alone to start snogging me. I reciprocated but i mean, i didn't get anything from it.

I liked her in a super friend way, like a kid does usually never having the thought of love.

She seemed really into it, her hands never stopped grasping my neck, i guess i maybe have something going for me but I'm mentally ruined to get it.

I'm not sure if i can program myself to feel that way, no idea where I'd start?

 

[NumbItAll]

It is a series of chemical reactions that compels people to stay together long enough to have children and raise* them. It also forces them into highly irrational behavior such as: obsessing over each other 24/7, buying expensive diamond rings, and making grandiose promises that can never be kept. It actually feels really good though before it inevitably falls apart and causes unbearable pain, much like a dangerous drug.

*optional

 

[OceanBlue]

Non-romantic love, friendship is like a bond, I can actually feel it over distance, even when we don't communicate much. I think it's mutual trust and means we can come to each other for help and support if needed, like a tacit promise. It's very obvious for me when this bond ends.

I see romantic love like this as well, fickle and temporary. It's really like a drug, people crave it, make finding it their life goal.

It is a series of chemical reactions that compels people to stay together long enough to have children and raise* them. It also forces them into highly irrational behavior such as: obsessing over each other 24/7, buying expensive diamond rings, and making grandiose promises that can never be kept. It actually feels really good though before it inevitably falls apart and causes unbearable pain, much like a dangerous drug.

*optional