I hide it because of my morals. However, some people in my life knew because I told them, but when they tried to help me nothing did improve, for years its always been the same feelings, the same thoughts in me. When I open up, only more people end up hurt and saddened, and I then feel immense guilt. And also, nothing improves. Life is sad enough, then why would I make the world even more sad. So when I open up about my true feelings, just more people are sad, on the other hand, if I don't open up, only I am, and at least if I can't be happy I want to be a good person.