Can the people in your life tell that you are losing your shit/at the point of killing yourself?

[Suspect_Device]

I feel like people can tell that something is off about me, but they have no idea of the full extent. Is it going to come as a surprise to people when you CTB or do you think they'll be like, "yeah the signs were there."

 

[accountnamerequired]

They've said they can't wait for me to move ou, and go away, I don't think they meant something like this but if I had a good plan and the means to ctb I think I would have already done it

 

[lostboi37]

For me personally, I think most will think the signs were there. I doubt my departure will have too much of an effect tho.

 

[zeek]

no,
it makes me feel like my struggle isnt real because no one can see it
but I choose to mask it anyways
i just wish someone could see me and save me.
i think they would understand that i would probably do it but be surprised that i went ahead and did it.

 

[Loserparasite]

Nope, to those whom I haven't told about my suicidal thoughts, I'm perfectly normal.
It's a double-edged sword because I would love someone to notice without me having to spell it out.

 

[letmejoindeath]

In order for people to realize that would mean people would have to care about me.

When I leave no one will ever think of me, there won't be an obituary, im just garbage that deserves to be thrown away.

 

[mehdone]

If they're paying attention, the signs are there. Most of us aren't quite as good of actors as we think, and people often get a glimpse of us when we don't have our mask on, even if it's only for a second.

Maybe they're too wrapped up or distracted in their own lives to notice at the time, but looking back, it'll be pretty evident, unless the person doesn't interact with you often.

Personally, I'd rather they didn't know- I don't want to be stopped again.

 

[maddog58]

I feel like the people in my life have no clue that I'm struggling. I give off signs but I genuinely don't think anyone around me notices.

 

[Suspect_Device]

The past couple of years have taken a toll on me I feel like I've aged five years when I look in the mirror. The extra ten pounds on the scale and dark circles under my eyes really stick out to me but people keep treating me the same way. Gas station clerks have stopped carding me though so I know the physical deterioration isn't in my head.

 

[bridgegirl]

Well, I feel like I'm screaming it from a mountaintop, but no, I think people have no idea. My SO will even comment on if he thinks I had a good day that day, and it startles me every time because that's so far from how I feel and I'm like, That's how you think I'm doing today?

 

[Crono]

My suicide will not come as a surprise to my family, I am a person who cannot pretend or mask what I feel. One of them literally said: "I think he's going to kill himself."

 

[numar]

the only people i have in my life are a couple of my closest friends i have known since preschool. they know about my ideation and my sh, my arms and legs are scarred beyond belief. i dont think ive changed much since making my decision

 

[peace_van]

They can sense I'm in a crisis, but not to the extent on the edge of ctb.
That's enough. No more signs will be given, I don't want to be interfered with this ultimate decision.
It should be totally up to me.

 

[antler]

They all know, but it doesn't really matter anymore, they're just hoping for the best. It's all they can do.

 

[waRmblanket]

i suppose im good at playing the part. i've stopped talking about a lot around my family and others, i keep everything to myself or sasu (forum/chat/friends). i had one family member even take notice that i've stopped, they know im still depressed, but i dunno.
i mean none would even assume i have something to take my life as the only method i was ever vocal about would be hanging.

 

[chuchunchy]

This happened to me today, a friend kept telling me how childish I was acting like I was trying to keep on a mask to be able to never let it slip, but they saw through it. It irritated me, I think someone or another will eventually notice, whether or not you want them to.

 

[hibikikyuxx]

They probably know but don't care. They think that depression and thoughts about suicide is nothing serious, they think that those things randomly disappear, society has brainwashed them that much.

 

[chuchunchy]

They probably know but don't care. They think that depression and thoughts about suicide are nothing serious, they think that those things randomly disappear, society has brainwashed them that much.

I agree, society has integrated suicide and depression so much it's normalized now. I can't even bring it up without others brushing it off as just "another mood swing."

 

[Saxenomorph]

My dumbass friend asked me once if i killed myself yet, other than that no, people insist that i have perfect mental health (not gonna lie, i do great job at hiding my emotions)

 

[hibikikyuxx]

I agree, society has integrated suicide and depression so much it's normalized now. I can't even bring it up without others brushing it off as just "another mood swing."

Exactly. Either people brush it off as nothing serious or they guilt trip you with "think about how it will affect others" and call you selfish. And when a person does ctb, those people will suddenly act like they didn't expect it and pretend to be sad, even though they didn't do anything to help that person.

 

[chuchunchy]

Exactly. Either people brush it off as nothing serious or they guilt trip you with "think about how it will affect others" and call you selfish. And when a person does ctb, those people will suddenly act like they didn't expect it and pretend to be sad, even though they didn't do anything to help

Regret and guilt for them is stronger than the empathy they had while they were still here

 

[NeedAnEscape]

People know about my stressors. However, they don't know about the full extent of what I'm going through. They also don't know that my struggles continue, even when my life is seemingly 'going well.' Family and friends have said that I was at my happiest, when I was going through my darkest hours. While the disconnect can be jarring, at least I'm not being treated differently. I loathe voicing my struggles because my pain turns into theirs. I'm already experiencing so much mental torment, I don't need to drag anyone else down with me.

 

[DeadlineDialer]

Most people are so caught up in their own lives, they don't take time to read other people, even those they claim to care about. If they do notice, they think nothing of it, they don't realize you're about to end it all, they think it's just a rough patch you'll get over. Sometimes they might know what's going on, but they'll just pretend it isn't happening, that things couldn't actually be that bad and you wouldn't actually go through with it. Otherwise, they just don't care enough, sad as it is, they'd rather ignore it and live out happily themselves. Humans are self centered first and foremost, a majority of society doesn't think people have it in them, they don't pay attention to the numbers and statistics. It's easier for most to not have to deal with a problem by pretending it doesn't exist and downplaying it. I say better to keep it in, nothing most people can do will help. I'll take loneliness over fake charity and empty words, or worse, confinement.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it would initially be a shock but- if they really thought about it, they'd start to see this was a long time coming.

 

[f1lth]

im not sure, if they have they havent asked me about it lmao

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I live in another country to the rest of my family so no one knows. My boyfriend lives with me and he does know, he's the only person in my life that never betrayed me or hurt me and that truly shows that he loves me. He's the reason why I haven't done it yet.
I talk with my sister regularly and even though I told her I wasn't working for 3 days, she didn't ask anymore questions. She accepted the answer of "I felt like being lazy today"

 

[zeek]

I would love someone to notice without me having to spell it out.

 

[Trakehner]

It's no secret that I am suicidal, but no one really cares. I guess they think that if they ignore the problem for long enough then it will eventually solve itself. Meanwhile, I suffer in silence.

 

[AAT]

No, I think they have no idea.

 

[Altalune]

Mine are aware, I told them I want to die a few times. I think they don't even expect me to actually take action though. My friends would force me to sleep in their room when I felt down. This time around, I'm just not saying anything.