johan.liebert
Absurdist creep
- Oct 5, 2023
- 23
Im doing internship (training for my future job) in some place… the people i see there.. they are dedicated, they love what they do, and me..? I feel like im somewhere I dont belong, as if someone is forcing me to do what im doing.. emotionally?? Im numb.. ive been rejecting my crushes cause im pretty sure im gonna break their heart cause im emotionally unstable, and i feel really bad. I cant even stay in a certain job more than 1-2 months cause i cant take the staff, maybe bz im very nice and people take advantage of me? Or burnout
My dad yells and makes fun of me n tell me to trust God with everything, I trust him but.. i feel like he threw me into this hell n im not that strong to fight it, I asked him many times to take my life but he didnt. I stopped doing what i used to enjoy doing. I just sit there emprisoned with my thoughts.
And whats worst? In 2 months im gonna start a job, its gonna be overwhelming and i even signed a contract for a year and cant change it. I regret it so much cz i was in my euphoric phase when i signed…
Honestly? Im not scared of ctb but more about the consequences , what if i survived? Became paralyzed or worse than before?? Thats it
My dad yells and makes fun of me n tell me to trust God with everything, I trust him but.. i feel like he threw me into this hell n im not that strong to fight it, I asked him many times to take my life but he didnt. I stopped doing what i used to enjoy doing. I just sit there emprisoned with my thoughts.
And whats worst? In 2 months im gonna start a job, its gonna be overwhelming and i even signed a contract for a year and cant change it. I regret it so much cz i was in my euphoric phase when i signed…
Honestly? Im not scared of ctb but more about the consequences , what if i survived? Became paralyzed or worse than before?? Thats it
