Help Can SN to look like an accident?

[Minudah]

Can SN look like an accident? Would any of these help it look like one?
-Is there any way to look like an accident?
-I already failed an attempt and went hospital, I said it was for the DMSO and they dismissed it. They thought I was there for every reason except why I was there, but they documented the chest pain and fatigue, and the doctors acknowledged my other symptoms but didn't write them down. If find me dead of SN poisoning
-I'm going to another state a few days after my antiemetics should be here by. Should I do it here near the hospital I went to, or there where they won't have a way to know that I showed symptoms of SN poisoning recently?
-I ordered another bottle of SN, but if it comes to it should the bottle I opened last week still be good? Knowing my luck I'll probably get bad SN hardened into a brick like some people have been getting.
-Is online really the only way to get SN?
-I don't know if my questions are stupid

I love Judaism and I want to mitzvot best in my Conservative view, but Judaism says not to suicide. I really don't want to against Torah. But won't they read my mind and know I ctb anyway? But I've tricked experimenters before

I'm not knowledgeable and everything I try to learn falls out of my head as soon as I'm not actively using it. I don't know how to decisions. Can someone just shoot me in the head for me? I don't know how to decisions to ctb, I'm too stupid to do anything right. I cook soup in the microwave because I'm stupid enough that I know I would fuck it up if I cooked it on the stove. I don't know what to do in any situation and pick decisions out of a hat. Then I take everyone's bad advice when they're just trying to harm me for their sick experiment. Everything I think and do is wrong, and everyone else is here to harm me. Everything is a danger and I'm not safe anywhere

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I was thinking about putting a lot of empty beer cans in my room so it would look like an alcohol overdose but then they will find out about the SN in the toxicology report. Maybe it sounds stupid but it's what has come to my mind.

 

[goldenrods]

no. SN causes your lips, nose, and fingers to turn blue. that's an immediate symptom of hypoxia - alcohol doesn't cause that. your blood also coagulates & turns blue-brown so an autopsy or really any sort of cut will show exactly what happened. it will be a very obvious suicide.

 

[HereToday]

The only way I can think of is to mix your leftover SN (that you won't be taking) in your regular salt container. Then it might look like it was a mistake, as SN and salt are so similar