just treat us like human beings basically. i think a lot of people get strung up on stereotypes and seeing members of lgbt or other minorities as part of a "group" or like a hivemind kinda thing, but its so much simpler than that. just treat every person you meet kindly and as an individual. dont assume what theyll get offended by or find annoying, if you want to avoid that just ask them when the time comes, but dont start out right away like "what are your triggers" etc bc for a lot of ppl that can be very personal. if something doesnt come up in casual conversation, its probably something you dont need to know.
as far as pronouns, respect them, they are important.
- if someone tells you their pronouns, use them and only them. it would be like someone telling you their name is dave but you call them stuart, its just plain courtesy. it doesnt matter what their "legal" pronouns are or their sex assigned at birth, that is very personal and sometimes incorrect information for many people, and its just so much easier to just use the pronouns someone tells you to use.
- if you arent sure of someones pronouns, either use gender neutral ones like they/them (e.g. "richard told me their favourite colour is pink") or ask them nice and briefly in private. some people may not be comfortable sharing their pronouns infront of lots of people. for example when you get the chance either text them or quietly ask to speak to them privately for a second and just say "hey im not sure what pronouns you use, do you have a preference?" just a quick and simple sentence, no need to beat around the bush or act awkward. and if they arent comfortable sharing with you then thats completely fine and well within their rights, just say "ok no worries" and continue using gender neutral pronouns.
- you could also listen out for clues in conversations, like if someone else refers to themselves or someone else with a certain pronoun, use that one, unless you are told otherwise. basically, just respect others when they tell you how they like to be referred to, it really isnt that difficult.
- if you slip up, just quickly correct yourself and move on. dont go on a whole rant or huge apology, people will forgive you for slipping up, but may not forgive you for making a big deal out of it.
i know it may seem like a lot to remember at first but it will become natural to you the more you put the effort in.
also, try not to bring politics around something that doesnt involve you into casual conversations, unless someone that is affected by it directly brings it up. for example, say you arent trans, but you bring up politics that centres around trans people e.g. gendered bathrooms, it can seem a little performative or rude especially if there are trans people in the conversation who might not want to talk about it as it may upset them or just be uncomfortable. i think a good thing to remember is if you dont have a good connection with someone or dont know them very well, leaving politics out of conversations is just the best way to avoid unnecessary conflict. some people just dont like talking about certain things, and thats fine, theres infinite other possible topics of conversation to be had.
another useful thing can be doing your own research, but looking for things made by members of the community youre researching. theres a lot of misinformation on the internet, but its much easier to find actual information when its written by those who are directly related to or affected by the topic if that makes sense. for example theres a lot of really good lgbt youtubers who make very informative videos on different topics, and would be much more useful than watching a video about lgbt issues made by a cishet white male who has no real world experience with the topic. sure, he might make some valid points, but research and scientific data can never match up to real life experience.
sorry this is so long, i hope it at least made sense and you found it useful. if not sorry for the huge wall of text lol. its nothing to be scared of, no ones gonna hate you or sue you for slipping up, and if they do theyre probably not someone you want to engage with. also dont take everything i said as complete concrete facts that apply to every single person, everyones different, just treat them as an individual and be kind, thats all that really matters. good luck!
