LonelyKitten

LonelyKitten

Seeking one final escape
Aug 13, 2023
284
When I rationally look at my situation, I know it's irreparable in the long-term.

But the closer I get to being pushed to ctb due to external factors closing in, dozens of (kind of nonsensical) thoughts and ideas swirl into my head, begging me to take some kind of massive gamble that could *in theory* lead to somewhat acceptable longer-term survival. (for me: quality of life/social inclusion > quantity of life)

Judging by how unrealistic these survival plans are, and how dissonant my body's excitement in response to them is, I can only guess it has to be a type of survival instinct.
I think it might be my brain trying to distract me, as the ideas also seem to steer me towards trying old hobbies again, or trying to maintain my present situation (not feasible).

Is this a known issue? Does anyone else experience anything like this?
I find it really irritating, as it disrupts my planning and activities, making it really hard to take any decisive, cohesive actions anymore.
 
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F&Inside

F&Inside

🌊🌊🌊
Aug 9, 2023
170
Hello LonelyKitten.
I understand, looks like a survival instinct, but
those thoughts that invade your mind and come from you, you are those thoughts too. There is a mixture of feelings and they can come when you don't want them. But they are inside you. They cannot be denied, but they can be faced. They make you aware of it, in case you commit your decision or whatever finally you want.

Anyways, good luck LonelyKitten, hope you have some serenity.
 
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Gaga786

Gaga786

The Odds Are Never In My favour
May 3, 2020
470
Yes, I have the same experiences with such thoughts. I desperately want to leave my situation like I have been wanting to for years, because rationally, my life will never ameliorate unlike others like to say. According to them, I'll be normal at the hand of a magic wand and that's it. So delusional for not seeing the reality.Anyways, still I find myself stuck here and not being able to plan accordingly, which sucks
 
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