Can anyone relate?

[3ndmym1sery]

I know people here probably have tried to kill themselves more than once, I just have one real suicide attempt though and in it I was so so determined to succeed and not fail, I did everything I could to fight off the attempts to save my life even though I hadn't eaten in months and was so incredibly weak, I tried to starve to death and about a week before I would have went into a coma I was taken to the mental hospital against my will, and even in that weakness I still fought my hardest but there were 3 or 4 people and I was weaker than a 10 year old child at the time, I couldn't even close my mouth because I was so fucking dehydrated, and still I fought and kicked and pushed and screamed, but it wasn't enough and I got saved. Well now my life feels like I'm sitting in a dark empty theatre after the movie's over and everyone's left and all the lights are out, I feel like my life is over and I'm still here. I'm not planning on trying again, starving to death was my method of choice because there's no blood or violence involved, I'm someone who absolutely hates violence, so I'm probably never gonna try to kill myself again. I don't even want to die, I just want a different life. Do any of you relate to feeling like your life is over and you're still here after a failed suicide attempt?

 

[TheGoodGuy]

now my life feels like I'm sitting in a dark empty theatre after the movie's over and everyone's left and all the lights are out, I feel like my life is over and I'm still here.

This was a beautiful analogy it feels very relateable and melancholic thanks for writing this. I too should have died years ago I can´t give the details about it but it could´ve happened that day and I would have spared myself from a lot of suffering, plus I have had no new good experiences in those years so it just goes to show that it would´ve been the rational choice to have killed myself since the future only held and still holds more suffering. So yeah here I sit in the movie theatre after the movie, my life ended wondering if I will ever get the courage to ctb or keep being stuck suffering and watching myself and everyone I used to know get older.