Called the suicide hotline

[yzx]

Called the suicide hotline out of curiosity and they were just as helpful as talking to the wall. Literally told the lady "I want to die really bad soon" followed by telling some life story and describing methods I could access and her responses would be
"I'm sorry you feel that way"
"Is there anyone else you can talk to"
"Where is your nearest facility you can go get help"
"Why do you want to do this"
"I hope you get better"
Just extremely generic phrases I could read if I browsed or seeked help from r/suicidewatch or similar. Although this is the national hotline that's gov funded so asked my name, info and where I live but I obviously gave fake deets.


90% of the time it was me crying and venting and she would be like "oh dear" and running out of lines to console me with. The operator was a sweet nice old lady just trying to do her best at the job but she kept repeating and rephrasing the same things, I could tell she was not having it. If you're homeless just buy a house, if you're depressed just don't be sad and if you're suicidal do your best to stop the feeling. Truly cured all life problems, suicidal thoughts and tendencies eradicated. After an hour of relentless crying on the phone I got so tired and felt even worse than before calling so I hung up and drifted to sleep without saying goodbye haha

It's futile to have resources that don't even help or make a difference. Ironic because these hotlines followed by help articles and videos are the first thing you see every time you search for methods or type "suicide" or something along the lines of ending your life.

 

[UKscotty]

I don't get why people blame medical staff and helpline operators.

We are the defective ones and people are just trying to help.

There is just not much that can be done for us. Talking to someone on the phone is all but useless.

I get the frustrations but directing hate toward people wanting to help is not productive.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

We are the defective ones and people are just trying to help.

You're just gonna keep repeating this aren't you?

 

[UKscotty]

You're just gonna keep repeating this aren't you?

Of course, I have met some amazing people over the years who tried their absolute best.

I know some people have met lazy doctors, but they are the minority.

If we blame anyone we should blame Big pharmaceutical companies or governments for failing to invest seriously into mental illness research.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Of course, I have met some amazing people over the years who tried their absolute best.

I know some people have met lazy doctors, but they are the minority.

If we blame anyone we should blame Big pharmaceutical companies or governments for failing to invest seriously into mental illness research.

I get that but what does have to do with us being "defective" and having to accept it?

 

[UKscotty]

I get that but what does have to do with us being "defective" and having to accept it?

Because they are regular people trying to help. It is us who are broken and defective, not them.

Yes, we can try to help them understand how we feel but unless they have been there personally, they can never truly understand.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Because they are regular people trying to help. It is us who are broken and defective, not them.

Yes, we can try to help them understand how we feel but unless they have been there personally, they can never truly understand.

But why did you choose defective as the term to describe us? And yeah I agree, a non-suicidal person will never understand the thoughts of a suicidal person.

 

[raindrops]

I don't get why people blame medical staff and helpline operators.

They sound like NPCs. I wish they would give personal experience. If they have no experience with suicidal thoughts or attempts, they should not even bother trying to help because they can sound cold. I feel like they want people to ctb, take a look at Canada. My ex partner's mother use to be a Samaritan. She would laugh at herself volunteering to help and be like "ohh it was soo depressing to listen to, I don't know why I bothered - it would bring you down" this is just an example of who may be listening to you. I go from feeling like "you know what fuck them all I'm going to fight and challenge this I'm going to be a functioning human being" and then I just think, what's the point when you're surrounded by heartless, malicious, spiteful, cold hearted, NPCs. I figured most of the humans today have something wrong with them, narcissistic, self centered. I feel so vulnerable I don't see the point in talking to any of them.

 

[Unattainable666]

I don't get why people blame medical staff and helpline operators.

We are the defective ones and people are just trying to help.

There is just not much that can be done for us. Talking to someone on the phone is all but useless.

I get the frustrations but directing hate toward people wanting to help is not productive.

I, for one, am NOT defective, you may be but putting a phrase like that on people who are depressed or have mental illness is ignorant

 

[Soc]

I'd kinda agree that I am defective. I don't feel like I can really blend in with society if I continue to live out my life. I think I will cause more problems and it's better if I go. So yeh defective.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Because they are regular people trying to help. It is us who are broken and defective, not them.

Yes, we can try to help them understand how we feel but unless they have been there personally, they can never truly understand.

I don't think it's necessarily a personal attack on the people on the front lines. I agree- some of them are genuinely trying to help. Some of them are voluntary too I imagine. I think that's impressive- giving up your time to try to help others.

It's more the general sentiment- no- we won't allow you peaceful methods to CTB. We'll make it as hard as possible for you to leave because... You can be cured! All you need to do is phone this helpline, or get some therapy. That's the issue for me. It's that they won't accept that sometimes- they can't help- despite their best efforts. But at the same time- they will do everything in their power to not let us leave too. So- we're just stuck here feeling awful and trapped. So- it's the overall picture- not necessarily individuals. Although- some individuals in these places I'd say aren't the greatest either.

Plus- I imagine there are better ways of talking to people. Why do so many suicidal people come here? Because they can't find this kind of support elsewhere. Our governments are presumably using tax payers money to set up these helplines and support centres. Maybe they need to be reviewing just how effective this 'help' is. It's not blaming these people doing the work. They're likely reading from a script- so- change the script!

 

[Someonewhotypes]

I don't think they can help much more than that over the phone.
I mean, their main goal is to let you vent I suppose and perhaps buy some time until someone arrives at your address in case you're saying you'll do something right then.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

It's more the general sentiment- no- we won't allow you peaceful methods to CTB. We'll make it as hard as possible for you to leave because... You can be cured! All you need to do is phone this helpline, or get some therapy. That's the issue for me

And they don't give you a choice, no negotiating your way out of it. You either do it their way or no way at all.

Our governments are presumably using tax payers money to set up these helplines and support centres. Maybe they need to be reviewing just how effective this 'help' is. It's not blaming these people doing the work. They're likely reading from a script- so- change the script!

Agreed, I think a lot of the ways to get help as advised by Government campaigns like calling a center isn't enough anymore, I mean I can't number just how many people have had experiences where they felt like they were walking to a wall and not someone whose actually listening and understanding what it is they are going through and that's not on them, these people at suicide hotlines don't know how to talk someone in that place because they've likely never been there themselves plus just repeating the same cliché things off a script is enough because they'll get paid for it anyway. If it were as effective as believed then a lot less people would feel trapped.

 

[UKscotty]

I, for one, am NOT defective, you may be but putting a phrase like that on people who are depressed or have mental illness is ignorant

Well I consider myself to be very defective, mental ill health is not the way life is meant to be. I am the minority so I don't see any other way to see it.

 

[Unattainable666]

Well I consider myself to be very defective, mental ill health is not the way life is meant to be. I am the minority so I don't see any other way to see it.

I understand that but to put everyone who has mental illness in a box and call them defective is wrong.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Well I consider myself to be very defective, mental ill health is not the way life is meant to be. I am the minority so I don't see any other way to see it.

I'm sure a lot of people who have ideation are struggling with mental illness. Still- you have to look at this world in general I think and question- how mentally 'sound' is it to be ok with this world?!!

Is it really defective to think- you know what? I don't fancy earning less than I need to survive on. Maybe someone knows they're unlikely to get a better job or- maybe they just don't want to put in the effort. Why is it defective to not want to be exploited?

I guess it isn't exactly natural for a living thing to want to kill itself. But still- how natural are we at the end of the day? What are the ideal qualities to survive in this world? I get the impression narcissists and sociopaths do pretty well. Both of those are personality disorders! Defects but this world seems to reward certain 'defects'. Why is it so odd for a more 'normal' person to think- this sucks! The game is rigged from the start. Do I really even want to participate in this? After all- the majority of us do participate in this game. We are exploited while we in turn exploit others.

That said- I'd say in some ways I'm defective too. I wouldn't say I had debhilitating mental illness but, I'm not exactly a high functioning human. Depends on whether you take personal fault with that though. In some ways- maybe it is 'on us' to get better. Like you say- we can't exactly expect strangers operating helplines to solve all our problems. Still- it is more this insistance that we go on- despite (debatably) being defective and maybe even beyond repair. Who makes a cripple climb Everest if they don't want to?

 

[Nymph]

I don't get why people blame medical staff and helpline operators.

We are the defective ones and people are just trying to help.

There is just not much that can be done for us. Talking to someone on the phone is all but useless.

I get the frustrations but directing hate toward people wanting to help is not productive.

Well the medical staff is supposed to help you and if they're not doing that but at the same time they are anti suicide then it doesn't make sense

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Well, the question is why does someone call the hotline at all? I would say that actual problem that causes someone wanting to die or being so close to an attempt cannot be solved by the hotline or anyone else. It's a place to vent and venting can have a short term positive effect but actually it's not a solution to the problem that causes suicidal ideation / attempts.

 

[muteallchat]

suicide hotline didn't even respond in my shithole. i've made an international call to us one that costs $2/minute, talked for a while and ran out of money on my phone, the counsellor called back, said there's an online one. found it, spent 40 fucking minutes typing all the shit that is inside my head and bothers me, 5 minute passes and i get the chatGPT "That is sad to hear that! etcetcetcetcetc" type of shit. didn't even finish reading it, pressed ctrl + w and went here

 

[thewalkingdread]

They're likely reading from a script- so- change the script!

Phoebe Buffay has a lot to teach us — i. e. society — here, in this little comic clip:



She can't use a script because there is no script when dealing with suicidal ideation. And she is genuinely — and instinctively! — interested into helping a suicidal George Costanza.

Very clever writing...

 

[Forever Sleep]

Phoebe Buffay has a lot to teach us — i. e. society — here, in this little comic clip:



She can't use a script because there is no script when dealing with suicidal ideation. And she is genuinely — and instinctively! — interested into helping a suicidal George Costanza.

Very clever writing...

Yeah, true. Plus- I know they don't have time for a whole therapy session. To be honest, I haven't had much to do with them. Do they provide information for therapists in the area? Would they even get someone in touch with a therapist? That just seems more useful to me than asking the person who they have to talk to, what services they know about. Surely- if the person had someone or, knew of which service to contact- they'd be doing that rather than talking to them! They should surely know about what's on offer locally- if they are a local number.

I think it's probably more to do with actually listening to people though. I certainly think some people are better at talking about difficult subjects than others. A friend of my Mum's was amazing. Very insightful. Maybe she had had therapy herself, so knew what to say. I guess some people are more naturally compassionate, inquisitive and insightful than others but I'm sure some things could be taught.

I expect the bigger problem is all the red tape. Doubtless they have to be super careful about not encouraging a suicide. Plus- I expect the paranoia over someone going ahead and them being questioned likely makes them nervous and overact. I think the whole blame culture thing is a problem everywhere. People are probably so afraid of being held liable that they overeact which puts people off calling in the first place.

 

[PrettyPotato]

I've found helplines to be pointless unfortunately (if you can even get through to talk to someone).
I don't think it's the staff that are at fault - it's just an impossible task for them to appreciate what you're going through.

Personally I've found that AI does a better job (seriously!).
ChatGPT used to be superb, but it's been totally neutered to the point of inanity now, and you'll never get anything meaningful out of it anymore.

There are still uncensored chatbots out there though - faraday dot dev and so on - that run locally and do a surprisingly good job with a decent prompt fed to them.

 

[thewalkingdread]

I get the impression narcissists and sociopaths do pretty well. Both of those are personality disorders! Defects but this world seems to reward certain 'defects'.

These "motherfuckers" bring chaos, torture, havoc, destruction and doom — and, yet, they thrive in this insane cruel world.

They are the most successful defective people you can get.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

 

[Raindancer]

Has anyone worked at a suicide hotline, volunteered or helped suicidal people? If you did, you would see the emotions they go through as they talk to people. You would see the tears if they failed. In general most do not last long because it is so stressful. Most of them honestly care and want to help people in the only way they know how. I would say for the majority of us, hotlines are not helpful, but for people acting on impulse it may be helpful. I personally would not call one, but maybe for someone who doesn't have anyone else to talk to and truly wants talked out of it, at least someone is there. How many of us have even said we had a suicidal friend and we tried to talk them out of it.

I think it would be a lot better if you had the ability to be transferred to a good therapist, but as we all know the entire mental health system sucks. If I have learned anything at all, it's unless someone has experienced it themselves, most of the time they have absolutely no clue. But except for the rare exception, they are doing the best they can.

 

[BlockHammer]

Sometimes i do think that suicide hotline in a certain country has been run by a bot, and if that's true. Im not gonna be surprise l

Nevertheless i do think there's people who care but have no idea how to handle this properly so that's why most of the time their response sounds like chatgpt generated