Buying rope, credit card declined, Lol

[Supersadmommy90]

Thought y'all on here would appreciate a little humor of the non-fiction variety. You really can't make this stuff up. Things have gotten worse lately, I cried myself to sleep last night and then woke up crying again at 3 am. By 8 am I was running the roads on an empty tank of gas to the store and back to get a 1/2 inch, 50 foot rope, attempted to go through checkout and sure as shit, even recently making a 40 dollar payment wasn't enough to get ahead of the interest apparently and it was declined. By the time that happened I kind of lost my resolve to be thrifty and find something makeshift around the house as I was tired from driving and crying. But this desire to have the means readily accessible is new and worrying since I am trying to live until my sanctuary age of 49 or whenever I go into menopause, but I don't know if I'll even make it that far TBH with how I feel about everything, if I'm on the verge of getting my method at 30 then how am I going to make it to menopause. I'm sure things will get better and I'll continue struggling along but inside I'm already dead, so much of me has already passed away so to speak I'n going through the motions but I'm not really alive.

 

[Rachel74]

Thought y'all on here would appreciate a little humor of the non-fiction variety. You really can't make this stuff up. Things have gotten worse lately, I cried myself to sleep last night and then woke up crying again at 3 am. By 8 am I was running the roads on an empty tank of gas to the store and back to get a 1/2 inch, 50 foot rope, attempted to go through checkout and sure as shit, even recently making a 40 dollar payment wasn't enough to get ahead of the interest apparently and it was declined. By the time that happened I kind of lost my resolve to be thrifty and find something makeshift around the house as I was tired from driving and crying. But this desire to have the means readily accessible is new and worrying since I am trying to live until my sanctuary age of 49 or whenever I go into menopause, but I don't know if I'll even make it that far TBH with how I feel about everything, if I'm on the verge of getting my method at 30 then how am I going to make it to menopause. I'm sure things will get better and I'll continue struggling along but inside I'm already dead, so much of me has already passed away so to speak I'n going through the motions but I'm not really alive.

I started menopause way too early 18 months ago after cervical cancer. Yes it's horrible but even more so as I'm bipolar but you know what it's doable and even for me. Cancer didn't kill me but bipolar probably will! You have to have humour in your life and I did smile at your post when your card was declined while buying rope, I could imagine it in a movie.
Is there a reason you want out?

 

[The.End]

Crying yourself to sleep is tough and so is waking up crying. Card declined when trying to buy rope? Sounds like rock bottom to me.

For what it's worth, I'm sorry your going through such hard time.

 

[bigj75]

looks like God is trolling you.

 

[NextBusLeaving]

Message me Shelter when you get privileges.

 

[Supersadmommy90]

Message me Shelter when you get privileges.

Thanks Next Bus, I'll be sure to shoot you a message when I can. Thanks for reaching out.

I started menopause way too early 18 months ago after cervical cancer. Yes it's horrible but even more so as I'm bipolar but you know what it's doable and even for me. Cancer didn't kill me but bipolar probably will! You have to have humour in your life and I did smile at your post when your card was declined while buying rope, I could imagine it in a movie.
Is there a reason you want out?

I feel that I'll most likely be part of the early menopause club as well. Due to some physical issues I've suffered in my life, some which were not my fault, and also some things that were my fault, I am prematurely aged and I feel like I am 30 going on 40. I lost most of my hair at 24 which has affected the way I view myself. The Chinese doctor told me that I am constitutionally weak. I've always struggled to conceive and had fertility issues, Basically I feel like some kind of degenerated version of myself. I see that the best parts of myself are already gone, and what I have left to ride out isn't... What it's supposed to be. I've struck out in love twice and there won't be a 3rd time, I've resigned myself to my fate in a sense. Looking in the mirror upsets me because I know I'm too old in terms of wear and tear, if not chronologically, to start over. I'm sticking it out for my family and children but I want off the magic carpet ride asap, unfortunately.