Saki
A failed artist, student and human
- Mar 22, 2021
- 201
Today was like any other day for me. It got me really upset...so following that I was very miserable today. My anxiety spicked unusual today. This triggered a chain reaction of me wanting to kill myself yet again.
I know pretty usual for a sasu member. I'm not sharing any big news, but I thought to myself. If I leave...What will I leave behind? Even as small as a sentence? I always wanted to do a more clean slate. If I leave anything material things behind. I want them to be good memory. If I one-day really kill myself, my family will throw my old stuff out and I don't want to remind them of my sickness.
Now we are here. Continuing I went through all of my old drawings from childhood. My goal was to destroy all my old vent art or slightly negative ones.
These go from age 10-22. So a lot of personal history is connected to it.
^
The start of the burning. I called up my best friend in the world. (Thank you A
) and we immediately started burning stuff. We had a lof fun. We went through all drawings. Not every drawing was posted...those few ones will be forgotten by the flames.
I drew this when i was over 18 already. I remember sitting in the classroom alone. I felt watched by everyone. Im pretty sure people didnt care about me but mental health lies to you
I think i was 16 drawing this. Its one of my favorite ones..but i no longer exists in this world physically
i dont remember the context but i liked it too.
the face of my biggest bully it my live. The woman who lied to me. Tricked me and thought i could find friendship and community.
i burned her.
fuck you melissa i hope you burn in hell. I will meet you there
I always struggled in school. This pic just shows me torn apart by my subjects lmaoo
i drew this very young...i dont remember the age...I just remember being miserable
I know i dont have anyone on here caring about me or my drawings...but i felt like sharing/archiving them anyway....
I cant attach more files so ill do it in a second post..haha im sorry mods if i spam with data.
Thank you everyone for reading my story. Its nothing big or important but it means a lot to me each of those drawings.
Im sorry i failed you childhood me.
I know pretty usual for a sasu member. I'm not sharing any big news, but I thought to myself. If I leave...What will I leave behind? Even as small as a sentence? I always wanted to do a more clean slate. If I leave anything material things behind. I want them to be good memory. If I one-day really kill myself, my family will throw my old stuff out and I don't want to remind them of my sickness.
Now we are here. Continuing I went through all of my old drawings from childhood. My goal was to destroy all my old vent art or slightly negative ones.
These go from age 10-22. So a lot of personal history is connected to it.
^
The start of the burning. I called up my best friend in the world. (Thank you A
) and we immediately started burning stuff. We had a lof fun. We went through all drawings. Not every drawing was posted...those few ones will be forgotten by the flames.
I drew this when i was over 18 already. I remember sitting in the classroom alone. I felt watched by everyone. Im pretty sure people didnt care about me but mental health lies to you
I think i was 16 drawing this. Its one of my favorite ones..but i no longer exists in this world physically
i dont remember the context but i liked it too.
the face of my biggest bully it my live. The woman who lied to me. Tricked me and thought i could find friendship and community.
i burned her.
fuck you melissa i hope you burn in hell. I will meet you there
I always struggled in school. This pic just shows me torn apart by my subjects lmaoo
i drew this very young...i dont remember the age...I just remember being miserable
I know i dont have anyone on here caring about me or my drawings...but i felt like sharing/archiving them anyway....
I cant attach more files so ill do it in a second post..haha im sorry mods if i spam with data.
Thank you everyone for reading my story. Its nothing big or important but it means a lot to me each of those drawings.
Im sorry i failed you childhood me.
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