Discussion Burial place

[HadesOfPurple]

A few questions:

Have you decided how/where/if (or cremated) you'd wish to be buried yet?

If you've family who love you: have you thought about the financial burden your death might be on them; if they can afford a funeral/scattering of ashes?

If you haven't got a (close) family: have you thought about who's going to pay for your funeral/scattering of ashes? Do you know what the authorities do if you've no family to cover the costs? Here, they pay the minimal fee for burial in a mass paupers' grave. Would you be ok with that, or how will you avoid it?

Have you thought about where you'd like to be buried, or have your ashes scattered? Do you have anyone you trust enough to carry this out?

I'm still dealing with these questions myself. My family won't care to pay for anything, so I'd probably be buried in a mass, unmarked grave with the homeless and the junkies. I don't mind. I've never felt like a person, so I don't want a headstone to commemorate something that was never there. I feel no connection to my birth name, so I want it to be gone forever with me. I just wouldn't want to be buried in the town I was born in. I've no idea how I could be buried anywhere else, but this is a place where neither alive nor dead could I find peace.

 

[SpottedPanda]

In an ideal world, I'd be buried, without any of this messing about with the body, with no autopsy. I don't like the idea of being burned, cut, stuffed, or otherwise tampered with.

In reality, I don't mind what happens to me. My family will pay for a funeral, for their closure. It'll all be out of my hands by then. I haven't made any previsions.

 

[HadesOfPurple]

Is autopsy obligatory in the UK? Here, an autopsy costs money, and unless the family are willing to shell out, there is no autopsy. Or if you are suspected of having the plague (I don't even think they waste money on many murder victims. They never catch the killer, most every case is a cold case, at least if it was nobody important or rich). Otherwise, the state doesn't waste money on the dead, or else the new Benz of the powers that be might have to wait a week, and that would be a tragedy of the most magnificent proportions.

 

[SpottedPanda]

Is autopsy obligatory in the UK? Here, an autopsy costs money, and unless the family are willing to shell out, there is no autopsy. Or if you are suspected of having the plague. Otherwise, the state doesn't waste money on the dead, or else the new Benz of the powers that be might have to wait a week, and that would be a tragedy of the most magnificent proportions.

Well I imagine it'd all be government funded here, and I'm not clued up as to when and why they did it. All I know is cutting me when I'm dead feels as much as an affront as cutting me when I'm alive. Then there's the whole burn me issue. At least if I rot in a grave is is technically 'me' rotting, and not some other person exerting force upon me.

 

[HadesOfPurple]

I know what you mean, and agree. I could never understand why anyone would want to donate their body for medical research. I am against animal testing, and I am against using human cadavers (unless they're serious criminals, perhaps) for medical science. Even if you're not religious, the body is sacred and should be left to decay naturally or be incinerated, but not cut open like this was not once a living, suffering person. Totally agree with you, I would refuse to be tempered with as well. Surely you can specify that you refuse to be tempered with in your will in case of death? I would hope so. I know ashes can be scattered in non-public places here, as I could not brook the idea of being buried in a cemetery with strangers no more than I can rotting away among strangers I despise. I don't know how so few think about that--being buried next to strangers for eternity.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

Never thought about it, I guess it stems from when my nan passed, she was cremated no one could afford her ashes, so no one picked her up, I have always wondered over the years were she is now, but Ill never get an answer.
My father was buried, I can't visit his grave its too far,

I want cremation, I don't give a shit about my ashes, ideally out to sea, but my soul will be else where, Ill be forgotten within a few months, so I don't really care what happens, just don't fucking bury me!

 

[SpottedPanda]

I know what you mean, and agree. I could never understand why anyone would want to donate their body for medical research. I am against animal testing, and I am against using human cadavers (unless they're serious criminals, perhaps) for medical science. Even if you're not religious, the body is sacred and should be left to decay naturally or be incinerated, but not cut open like this was not once a living, suffering person. Totally agree with you, I would refuse to be tempered with as well. Surely you can specify that you refuse to be tempered with in your will in case of death? I would hope so. I know ashes can be scattered in non-public places here, as I could not brook the idea of being buried in a cemetery with strangers no more than I can rotting away among strangers I despise. I don't know how so few think about that--being buried next to strangers for eternity.

Actually I completely forgot the new UK law to make every person an organ donor. So that's sort of ruined my entire speech. I'm too lazy to opt out now. I guess my beating heart, and other such organs may be finding a second life. That's turned me 180. Might as well burn me now after pillaging my body.

 

[HadesOfPurple]

What new law? They can't do that, surely? Surely that's against every right to have your choice over the autonomy over your body, living or dead?

 

[SpottedPanda]

What new law? They can't do that, surely? Surely that's against every right to have your choice over the autonomy over your body, living or dead?

The law states that every person by default is an organ donor, unless they actively opt out. Whereas before is was the opposite.

 

[HadesOfPurple]

That's really sad about your nan and dad, mate. I can relate about nobody claiming your ashes, though. Same here. As I do not wish to be buried next to strangers, even in a paupers' grave, when I think of it, I'd prefer to be ashes in the wind. Hopefully a bit of me could be blown into some old enemies' faces, so I can ash on their parade :p


Oh, I see. So why don't you opt out?
By the way, this reminds me of the Monty Python organ donor sketch, where they MAKE people be organ donors. How prescient were they? Bloody brilliant, what they imagined is becoming reality now.

 

[SheJumped]

Cremation and my ashes to be scattered in the ocean.

 

[Green Destiny]

Cremated. Have my ashes scattered in the nearby wilderness.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

I was worrying about those 2 months ago. Realised it will never be perfect the way i wanted and gave up. Whatever happens to my corpse is good with me. If theres no money just let authorized people handle it however they want. I dont think it will matter to me after i die.

 

[Pallf]

Ideally I'd want a natural burial. Just a shroud covering my body and I'm put into the ground. I don't even want a fancy tombstone, my name on a piece of wood will do. Incredibly cost effective.

 

[ugly_loser2008]

i decided im gonna be cremated easiest way to get rid of my body and wont take up space. i already met with the funeral home and prepaid for my cremation and also told them who was to receive my ashes. a buddy of mine said he would take my ashes and mix them with cow manure as he works on a farm and spread me to grow hay - i figures that would be an awesome disposal of me. shit to shit. thing is id be more useful dead than i ever was alive.

 

[NomadicWolf382]

Cremation. Have my ashes scattered across the cold northern wilderness.

 

[tomakeitstop]

reviving this thread because I've been thinking a lot about my last will and testament/end of life preparations (thread here) and I think I found the perfect way to be buried/interred and that thought has brought me a lot of peace: https://www.thelivingurn.com/products/white-dogwood

I never thought I wanted to be cremated, fire seemed sort of icky to me, but there are not a lot of companies that offer natural burial options. but this company, rather affordably, offers biodegradable urns that can be planted under trees. dogwood trees are my favorite tree and favorite flower and they mean a lot to me, I think it would be beautiful to forever grow into a dogwood tree (for as long as the climate supports it, I guess).

Ideally, I'd also like to get a plaque underneath it with an Albert Camus quote that says "in the midst of a seemingly unending Winter, I discovered within myself an invincible Spring". I always thought that I would get that tattooed on me, but it's a little too late for tattoos now, especially if I'm saving up for N and other burial costs. tombstones are expensive though, but this article was cool: https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/hand-carved-gravestones

it would be rad to have a hand-carved tombstone. like something out of time. does planning this bring anyone else like a sense of incredible calm and peace? maybe I'm a little hypomanic, but the more detail oriented I get the more this all makes so much sense