Discussion Bullying, what do you do?

[falling_snow]

I've seen Meteora's thread on that kid that died. And it seemed like bullying was the main cause of it. The school did absolutely NOTHING.

So, what would you do if you were a member of the staff seeing this situation? What actions would you take?

 

[untothedepths]

Maybe I'm more strict on the approach, but I would find out who was bullying him, and suspend them so they can undergo mental health evaluations and mandatory home interviews. What is going on at home? Do they lack attention from their parents? Are they not ever disciplined? Is there undiagnosed conduct disorder? Additionally, parents will need to join their children in some way, to ensure they are actually participating in some way. Failure to do any of this may mean that suspension is indefinite and schooling will be conducted at home or elsewhere, but with a heavy focus on them also doing their required tasks.

I'm sorry, being a shitty human being, adult or child, is no excuse and is a sign something is wrong. This might sound harsh but I would give none of them a quarter. Bullies often have undiagnosed disorders, or the possibility of. They can have a crappy homelife too, so forcing parents to have some accountability is crucial.

As for the child who is bullied, they too will have mental health evaluations, but maybe do fun activities with other children, such as extra field trips, pizza parties, movie nights, and maybe to take trips with other students.

Good behavior is rewarded. Shitty behavior must be disciplined appropriately.

 

[falling_snow]

[...]

I'm sorry, being a shitty human being, adult or child, is no excuse and is a sign something is wrong. This might sound harsh but I would give none of them a quarter. Bullies often have undiagnosed disorders, or the possibility of. They can have a crappy homelife too, so forcing parents to have some accountability is crucial.

[...]

Good behavior is rewarded. Shitty behavior must be disciplined appropriately.

TOTALLY AGREE!!! So many horrible situations could be avoided if schools were stricter against these kind of behaviours.

It's not cruel in any way, it's fair to punish, or this type of conduct may be continued to adulthood and god knows what type of person they'll grow to. Bullying is absolutely disgusting.

 

[Little_Suzy]

If you are being bullied, my advice is to report the bully and take all necessary safety precautions, including skipping school.

Teachers can only report; they have no power. Teachers are also victims of student violence, and school districts frequently ignore their reports. These teachers have no choice but to quit teaching, which is the primary reason for the critical teacher shortage in the United States.

The police are still investigating Sammy's suicide. It's the parents who are citing bullying as the cause. It's hard to believe the parents filed 20 incident reports, but kept sending their child to school after the bullies weren't disciplined. This is child neglect.

Criminal charges should be filed against bullies who cause a student to commit suicide. This is the only way these little fuckers will learn that causing harm to their peers and teachers has real-life consequences.

 

[AmericanMary]

So when I was in the early grades of school, I had a bully. One day I had enough & called her mom to tell her that her daughter was bullying me. My mom heard on the other line and yelled at me for "causing drama."

So tbh I probably don't have the healthiest approach to this. I recognize that.

But I work over a lot of gen Zers. When I see them bullying each other, even something minor if it has ill intentions, I will do one of two things:
*raise my voice for them to stop. I realize this can be embarrassing & try not to do this. But sometimes if it's really bad.. it's really bad.
*i wil pull them aside & sit them down to talk about the behavior. Find out the root of them problem & share how this COULD make someone else feel. I share my experiences. Usually this helps, to put a different perspective on things. If this fails, I threaten their job, and they never bully again.

How I would handle this in a school setting? Gosh.. I have no idea.

 

[Not Today Satan]

I don't know exactly what I would do. But I would not punish a kid for retaliating or defending themselves, as long as the amount of force they used is reasonable for the situation.

 

[oneirataxia]

The correct course of action in the position of a staff member is obvious. I don't know what all these principals and counselors have in their drinking water to spur on such an idiotic decision like that -- I hear shit like this all the time.

Personally, as someone with a long history of being bullied and ostracized, I eventually accepted in my high school years that no one would intervene. I used this realization and formed a different strategy -- I would let the nasty comments slide off me like water off a duck's back. I would laugh it off, I would laugh with them even if I acknowledged I wasn't a part of their in-group. I would act as nonchalant and as charismatic as my awkward teenage self could afford to act. I made it clear that I was aware of their opinion of me, but I never let it seem like it affected me, even if it always would. In school, I acted friendly, sociable, aloof... then I went home to cry it all away, alone.

This facade never made that derision and alienation go away entirely, but it certainly made me less of a target compared to some of my more unfortunate, equally unpopular peers. I could tell they all thought I was weird, but I never gave them too much to pick at, and so they stopped giving it their all. Sometimes we would talk amicably even though I knew no respect was there. Sometimes, when you're facing a bully, that's all you really can do. But I guess it's better than nothing.