Story Brother CTB - Don't expect cops to care.

[RoseKamar]

Both a story and an advice.

The brother of my wife killed himself by jumping recently . He did it early nighttime, and the cops came to us at 4:30 AM to inform us that he died by "falling" and knew nothing specific.
We drove to the city where it happened and spoke to the cops there, and they:

• didn't know if it was an accident (maybe he partied? The location suggested it)
• didn't know if he was drunk
• didn't question any witness besides one
• didn't know who was with him and didn't ask
• didn't check for written notes
• didn't visit his flat and said that they won't do that

At this point, it is already >12 hours after it happened. They said it is "not suspicious" (so: not a murder) therefor it's not urgent and the "investigation" will take about 6 months to a year. They basically do nothing and wait if a witness comes out by themselves to say something new, if not, they close it and call it a day. The difference between accident and suicide does not matter for them. They have to do an autopsy, so it takes some time till the corpse gets released and the funeral can happen.

Imagine someone griefing, in denial stage, in a situation that is: "Likely a suicide, but could have been an accident". She went through an emotional roller-coaster nightmare, not knowing what even happened. Randomly started crying. Actual panic attacks.
Eventually we put the puzzle pieces together ourselves. Pressured them a bit a few days later, so we got them to tells us that he wasn't on drugs and they questioned that one witness a bit more. She saw him going that direction and said he was there for just a short time. His friends were not with him. And his collegues from work called on the next day asking why he didn't come to work. His last text message was a "love you guys" a few minutes before it happened. I already had people CTB in my circle in the past and am open to it myself, so i could tell them .
At the time i am writing this (about a week later), still nobody checked in his flat. We have to sign some papers and do some legal stuff to be able to do it.

I could write a textwall about our personal experience, but it would be too much
But i ask you to don't expect cops to tell anything to your relative. Don't expect them to even look for a note.
Especially when living in a Metropolitan area. And when you choose a method that could cause a: "but but maybe it was an accident" coping in your relatives... consider writing a note and put it where it will be found immediately. It makes it easier and faster. Even when you think that it is obvious, if the griefing relative is a normie, they might clinge to the 10% chance of it being an accident.

here an article about Londons incompet cops

Met police could be failing to identify serial killers, watchdog says

Inspector of constabulary warns force is failing to investigate unexpected deaths after Stephen Port report

www.theguardian.com

 

[FuneralCry]

Thank you for sharing the information, at least that person cannot suffer anymore, I admire the courage of those who decide to jump. Rest in peace.

 

[Doombox]

Gosh, that's really sobering. Thank you for sharing your story and I'm sorry all of you are going through that.

 

[LittleJem]

Jeez. The police. What do they do.
Sorry for your family's loss and lack of closure.
The police should be ashamed of this situation

 

[miserabletires9]

Is autopsy necessary? If I die at home or at a hotel, with my suicide notes and wills and shit next to me, will I still be autopsied?

 

[RoseKamar]

Is autopsy necessary? If I die at home or at a hotel, with my suicide notes and wills and shit next to me, will I still be autopsied?

I think that it there is no doubt about what happened, there won't be an autopsy.
Like if there is a handwritten signed suicide note in the pocket.

 

[90starve]

this is such a heartbreaking story - our police force truly are disappointing :(

im so sorry that you have to live with this pain <3

 

[MusicGuy]

I'm so sorry you had to go through this experience, at least you got some info and shared it with someone. Police in metropolitan areas usually don't care, they only (sometimes) do if it's some kind of traumatic scene.

 

[ExitStrategy]

Sorry for the stress, that sounds difficult. However, I wouldn't blame the police...they are under the threat of legal action for any missteps. Is it their responsibility to sort out his unattended actions and loose ends. They didn't bring us here and they are not responsible for us when we leave, we are. Therefore, painful as it is, blame the person for not leaving a note in some manner. Judging from state of mind I sense in others in the forum, that may not be easy for some folk. But that's where the chain of command starts

 

[SVEN]

Is autopsy necessary? If I die at home or at a hotel, with my suicide notes and wills and shit next to me, will I still be autopsied?

In the UK I believe that any sudden or violent death requires an inquest & post mortem; in order to fully ascertain the cause(s) and circumstances of death.
So, unless the death follows an illness which has had attending physicians who are in a position to sign a death certificate attesting to knowledge of the medical history and causation, a PM is routine.
Procedures tightened up considerably, even for GPs, following the serial killings carried out by Dr Harold Shipman.