If you've been following my posts for whatever reason you likely know he's why I backed out of my planned date in November. He's taking the break up extremely hard though and I'm not sure if this is worse or not. I'm really hoping having to get used to life without me will help him to get used to life without me on a larger scale. I really wanna be out of here by the new year
I'm so sorry to hear that. He must wonder why you broke up with him, and he obviously cares for you deeply if he's taking it badly. At the same time, I understand where you're coming from. Best of luck to you.
He'd do anything for me and that's what makes this whole thing so much worse
I'm so sorry, love. He'd do anything, but the one thing he can't do is make you feel like you want to remain here. That, I totally get.
I know for a fact he's gonna take it as his own personal failure too when that's nowhere near the case, it's just the kind of person he is.
I advise that you write him a letter, and send it through the mail late in the day of your final travel. Explain everything to him. How you loved him, respected him, etc. Explain to him that your end has nothing to do with him, that it's something you've wanted to do since way before you met, and that nothing he would say or do could possibly change how you feel. Tell him not to blame himself for anything, that he must NOT do that. Tell him he isn't at fault; it's yourself, it's life, it's whatever you have the problems with. Thank him for the time you spent with him. Tell him how he made you as happy as you could be. Tell him it's okay to mourn, but then he must move on.
My two pennies worth, but that's what I'd do.
I've already got a note written out to that effect. I hope he believes me
Make it more than a note. This is a goodbye letter, my lovely. He deserves more than a note, from what you've said.
He truly does, he's so great, I just hope this doesn't put him off finding someone else
6ixxy
I sank so she could swim
- Apr 26, 2019
- 273
Cause an argument. Tell them they're the wrong person for you. Tell them you're the wrong person for them, if you must! Tell them you can't be with them anymore. Worst case, write them a letter.
134340
Student
- Aug 23, 2019
- 163
I broke up with my girlfriend in October for the same reason. She has also taken the breakup extremely hard. It's awful to see someone you care about hurt because of you, but it definitely feels like the more humane thing to do in the long run. I'm sorry this has been difficult for you. I'm around if you want to talk about anything. 
I just sat him down and told him I don't feel that I'm equipped to continue on with a relationship
takeyourshotfunboy
Smile...
- Oct 11, 2019
- 206
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
I may be the odd one out. When my partner decided on his date, he ghosted me for a week. He continued to come here every day but wouldn't talk to me. Wouldn't answer my PM's emails or Skype.
I was losing it and the anxiety of not knowing what the hell was happening almost pushed me over the edge.
When we spoke he apologized. He said he did that so I could see what it was like about him, and he knew if I was told his date, I would count down the seconds.
On the day he CTB he spoke briefly. He chose to post his goodbye message when he knew I was sleeping.
After he CTB, a few days later I received a package in the mail with a Christmas gift and a goodbye letter.
You know your boyfriend better than any of us. I am telling you my story so you can see the consequences regarding how another handled the same situation.
I know he was doing what he thought was best for me. He was wrong. That week was awful, and we wasted time that we could have spent together.
One thing he did right. Sending me that letter and gift. It was a mixed blessing. I knew how he felt. He wasn't one to show his emotions when alive. But it hurt like hell thinking what could have been.
If you think it would be beneficial to your boyfriend, I would send him something he would receive after you CTB which he can hold onto.
I was losing it and the anxiety of not knowing what the hell was happening almost pushed me over the edge.
When we spoke he apologized. He said he did that so I could see what it was like about him, and he knew if I was told his date, I would count down the seconds.
On the day he CTB he spoke briefly. He chose to post his goodbye message when he knew I was sleeping.
After he CTB, a few days later I received a package in the mail with a Christmas gift and a goodbye letter.
You know your boyfriend better than any of us. I am telling you my story so you can see the consequences regarding how another handled the same situation.
I know he was doing what he thought was best for me. He was wrong. That week was awful, and we wasted time that we could have spent together.
One thing he did right. Sending me that letter and gift. It was a mixed blessing. I knew how he felt. He wasn't one to show his emotions when alive. But it hurt like hell thinking what could have been.
If you think it would be beneficial to your boyfriend, I would send him something he would receive after you CTB which he can hold onto.
takeyourshotfunboy
Smile...
- Oct 11, 2019
- 206
Why
Why would you rather CTB than improve your life? Are you just too tired/unmotivated to put effort into recovering?
My parents both committed suicide, I have no family, lost out on education, no skills, no plausible career because I'm disabled, and no future. My s/o (now ex) didn't understand the limitations of my disability, trauma, and mental health and only further alienated me because of it. There's just too much I can't exactly go on running from because it'll all eventually catch up
Last edited:
Meant2Die
Specialist
- Nov 8, 2019
- 307
Extremely brave of you to do that. I think it's the best for them and you in the long run.
Lotus1818
Experienced
- Nov 4, 2019
- 248
Yes. Very sad that love isn't enough, but then there is nothing that can be enough for someone who wants to ctb.
LP420,
I remember you posted your letter a couple of months ago or so, and I remember it because it was remarkable, beautiful and full of your love. It was a lot more than a note. I am sure you now have things you wish to add or to change given there are more experiences you have now lived, but I know, I am certain, that your letter will be something he will eventually cherish and will keep you close to him, in a good way.
Moonicide
ᴘʜᴀꜱᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴ
- Nov 19, 2019
- 802
Hey, love... I know how heartbreaking and difficult it must for you right now, but just know you did the right thing in the end. It's not easy, but I know ctbing in a relationship is more painful than ctbing while broken up. It may take a while for him to cope and find someone new, but providing him with a letter will bring him comfort and closure as he goes through the 7 stages of grief. 
