Brief moments of not wanting to die

[Deleted member 17949]

I get moments like these and it feels great. I feel in control and capable of managing life. It feels like I'm not a total failure and I can clearly see things that I like about myself. I know it will get worse soon and I'll go back to planning suicide, but right now I feel okay. I'm going to eat a cheeseburger.

 

[Dead beat dad]

Good on you brother. A cheese burger sounds great.
Maybe sometimes without the dark you can't truly appreciate the light?
Love and respect brother
DBD

 

[braketimez]

I remember when it used to be brief moments of wanting to die. It's crazy how things change over time.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I remember when it used to be brief moments of wanting to die. It's crazy how things change over time.

Are you saying it gets worse?

 

[Deleted member 14386]

Not necessarily, maybe you win the lotto or something, enjoy your cheeseburger!
(also can I ask where your avatar is from?, looking for things to watch lol)

 

[Doormat]

Got one right now! Just been for a walk through the woods and it was beautiful

 

[braketimez]

Are you saying it gets worse?

Yeah, for me...I used to want to live, but had moments of wanting to die.

Now, I usually want to die with moments of wanting to live.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Yeah, for me...I used to want to live, but had moments of wanting to die.

Now, I usually want to die with moments of wanting to live.

I understand that. Same thing happened with me really. A few years ago suicidal thoughts were just a little itch at the back of my mind. Now it feels like they're the only thing in my mind at all times.

 

[Ijustneeditalltostop]

Yas! I got that feeling this morning, i didn't sleep for 2 days n spent the whole morning excited about absolutely nothing then decided tht i want to live and forget about ctb
Then few hours later here I am, back to planning how to end this freakin mess thts called life..

 

[JoeFailure]

Are you saying it gets worse?

It can go either way. At this time last year I was a total mess and intensely thought about CTB just about every waking moment. Now it's about half the day. I guess that's progress.

 

[Diocel]

when im on drugs

 

[Nyxx33]

I just get this when I'm joking with friends, in nature, see cute kids or animals, think about good experiences I've had or my passion for travel / languages, or hear a song I really love and dance some. Every other time I wish I had the courage to end things.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

when im on drugs

Respectable

I just get this when I'm joking with friends, in nature, see cute kids or animals, think about good experiences I've had or my passion for travel / languages, or hear a song I really love and dance some. Every other time I wish I had the courage to end things.

I do get the same thing with friends, though I'm not very social so I don't see friends much.