Breaking a promise not to ctb

[Starylain001]

Im 21 yo with chronic nerve pain. It all started in December 21. I was in so much in pain that i couldnt sleep, sit and so on. I've written a few farewell letters then. Now i write those types of letters only in my phone. So that nobody can find it. These paper letters were found by my mom. I almost landed on psych ward but they couldnt get me there without my permission. I didnt agreed obviously. So my mom told my dad about the letters and he begged me in tears not to do such self destruct action. I promised him that i wont, but in the reality? Im 21, still in pain with no cure for it. I had to drop uni because Idk how to study when my neurology gives me razor blade cut like pain, burn-pain and needle-like one. Its a torture. I feel bad for breaking this promise in the future. I would never consider suicide if it wasnt about disease. I just cant stand the physical pain.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my opinion, nobody should be forced to live against their wishes, we all have our right to exit and it is a personal decision when to leave this world. I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, it sounds unbearable what you are going through. To me, it is horrifying that so many health conditions even exist. I think that euthanasia should be legalised everywhere. I wish you the best in whatever happens, I hope you find relief from your pain.

 

[DPJ187]

I just promised it too, not even half an hour ago to my ex partner, she is trying really hard to keep it civil. But I did lie, I will CTB soon. I needed to know she would be ok and give our son the best life he can have. Today I realise,they are noth going to be better without me around. It's not self hatred or loathing it's just facts. She is a fantastic mother, a fantastic person and a genuine friend but she isn't my partner anymore so truth is relative. I

 

[loststar]

I couldnt promise fully that i wouldnt, but i plan to keep the promise to my mum that i wouldnt do it in the house. Maybe then when they go in my room they can remeber sonething good rather than just the end

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Today I realise,they are noth going to be better without me around.

does "noth" = not? So, they are NOT going to be better off without you? Just trying to make sure I accurately understand your post.

 

[DPJ187]

does "noth" = not? So, they are NOT going to be better off without you? Just trying to make sure I accurately understand your post.

Both