ms_beaverhousen

ms_beaverhousen

-terminally sad-
Mar 14, 2024
1,271
I'm unraveling, and getting more desperate. I barely have transportation to get to the hotel. Don't have enough money for a gun, and may not even pass the background check because of an old institutionalization like 10 yrs ago. Too reta**ed to figure out SN and nitazenes and sources... Can't pull off a hanging, nfw.

There's one hotel that's high enough though. If I got a room, would a hammer be able to break the window do you think??? or if I bought one of those things that breaks a car window?? I don't have much money for supplies, and can't afford to buy something that won't get me to ctb mind you. Do you think I'd be heard, reported, and stopped before the window was broken? I have no experience with construction durability. They had a rooftop suicide but now there's a tall bar-thing to climb over and I'm short af. Would have to stand on a chair and can't tell if those are chained down. Plus there'd be people who could stop me. I may never get the opportunity as it's the most expensive hotel in the city so it's always got a full setting up there. (It's a rooftop bar.) Plus there's a dress code.

I considered this option back when I lived in the city, but got distracted by taking care of stray cats literally having babies on my balcony... and dating a douche. Then I had to move to an isolated hellhole... and THEN lost the creepy person willing to help me with ctb because I waited too long I guess.
Thanks for the input :)

P.S. Where is that "angel of mercy death" lady from Law & Order: SVU who is deaf (real deaf actress) and helps people ctb when you need her???
 
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iloverachel

Enlightened
Mar 7, 2024
1,199
I am so sorry you are in so much pain and feel desperate to die.
How high is the hotel? I think there is an article somewhere that states how high you have to jump for instant death.

As for the hammer. I am not sure if you are able to break a window with it, I think most likely you can.

But some thing to keep in mind, survival instinct is a bitch, and once you smash a window open at a very high hotel, there's a good chance SI kicks in and you may back out. It would be a messy situation if that happens and you will be liable for damages which will worsen your financial situation.

Anyway, best of luck in whatever it is you choose to do. I hope you find peace and freedom. Keep us updated so we can be there to show support
 
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ms_beaverhousen

ms_beaverhousen

-terminally sad-
Mar 14, 2024
1,271
Gun show loophole
I don't have transportation to go touting around looking for them. :/ and the craigslist for guns site is too expensive for me to find a private seller.
I would steal a neighbors gun rn I'm so desperate but I'd get caught :(
I am so sorry you are in so much pain and feel desperate to die.
How high is the hotel? I think there is an article somewhere that states how high you have to jump for instant death.

As for the hammer. I am not sure if you are able to break a window with it, I think most likely you can.

But some thing to keep in mind, survival instinct is a bitch, and once you smash a window open at a very high hotel, there's a good chance SI kicks in and you may back out. It would be a messy situation if that happens and you will be liable for damages which will worsen your financial situation.

Anyway, best of luck in whatever it is you choose to do. I hope you find peace and freedom. Keep us updated so we can be there to show support
I'm not worried about SI... and not only liable for damages. Probably arrested as well as institutionalized. Be worse off than I am now so more reason not to back out.
I once had access to a gun but I didn't know how to get the safety off. Didnt know if it was on or not, just loaded it, and chanced it and pulled the trigger. Bummer. Had to hurriedly put it back when it didn't go off because the homeowners would be home anytime.

It's high enough. I've researched and there've been two suicides. Hence the built wall on the roof. There's nothing else high enough around me :/

Thank you for the sentiment :)
 
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Mirrory Me

Mirrory Me

"More then your eyes can see..."
Mar 23, 2023
1,117
Well... If you fail, you will be arrested, you will possibly have to be hospitalized against your will, and you will have to compensate for the damages you caused...
 
ms_beaverhousen

ms_beaverhousen

-terminally sad-
Mar 14, 2024
1,271
Well... If you fail, you will be arrested, you will possibly have to be hospitalized against your will, and you will have to compensate for the damages you caused...
I thought of that and edited my post lol. Hence wondering if the window will even fully break. I just kind of think it won't? I have no idea if it would tbh.
 
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Mirrory Me

Mirrory Me

"More then your eyes can see..."
Mar 23, 2023
1,117
I thought of that and edited my post lol. Hence wondering if the window will even fully break. I just kind of think it won't? I don't have no idea tbh.
Hm... Maybe it doesn't have to be "the fanciest place in the town"... What if you accidentally happen to hurt someone?
 
ms_beaverhousen

ms_beaverhousen

-terminally sad-
Mar 14, 2024
1,271
Hm... Maybe it doesn't have to be "the fanciest place in the town"... What if you accidentally happen to hurt someone?
It's the only highest hotel. I guess hence the fanciness. I dont think I'll land on anyone. I'll yell before I go. It's been done before. I'll just have to do some more research on it being breakable because I'm running out of methods.
 
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